The Good Things In Life

It's the most wonderful time of the year,  ya'll! And it is precisely because of that that I thought it would be timely for another Good Things In Life post. There are so many things to enjoy in our little lives and here are a few of my favorites as of late:

Book Club. Okay, hello... if you love friends and food and reading,  you should be in one of these stat. I joined one this past summer and it has been such a favorite thing! I look forward to it every month and leave feeling refreshed and encouraged and full of new book suggestions. It has also expanded my reading palette, because if it were up to me I would probably just read memoirs all the live long day. So far we have read Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance, A Fierce Love by Shauna Shanks, The Summer Before The War by Helen Simonson, The Road Back To You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile, and My Cousin Rachel by Daphne du Maurier and I cannot wait to see what 2018 brings. And let's just talk about my book club's Christmas party because it was amazing. Not only did our lovely hostess, Lydia, make the best food of my life (things like a cranberry goat cheese dip, orange and pomegranate pavlovas, bacon wrapped butternut squash, toffee bread pudding, pear and brie crostinis with a honey, balsamic, and thyme drizzle, parsnip fries with curry mayo and let's not forget the (virgin) bubbly with floating pomegranates... basically what I'm saying is that I died and went to heaven), but we also ended the evening with a Blind Date With A Book exchange which is my new favorite kind of party because I'm cool like that. Here's how it works: Just take a book you currently have or (if you’re greedy and don’t want to give yours up you can hit up Half Priced Books) and wrap it up. Then on the wrapping paper or an attached tag you give some hints as to what your book is about without revealing too many details or, obviously, the title.  When it's party time, you draw numbers to see who gets to pick a book first and from there it basically plays out just like a White Elephant Gift Exchange. I'm telling you: Genius. Host one and invite me, okay?

 

The Big Sick. Definitely one of the most charming movies I have seen in a while, which might not say much because when on earth do I ever go to the movies?! Almost never.  But still, I adored this film so much. I watched it without DJ which was a big mistake because it's totally one we would have enjoyed together, but it worked out in my favor because it allowed me to rope him in less than a week later and watch it all over again. Score. A huge plus to this movie? I think it might have been the first ever appropriate Judd Apatow production. I honestly didn't think those existed and I was pleasantly surprised. Sex was alluded to but nothing inappropriate was ever shown, and while language was bad at times, it was done realistically and well rather than inappropriately and unnecessarily crude like all his other movies. Way to go, Judd. This movie rocked. I would watch it again and again.

 

Hinge: A podcast about doubt, identity, and the search for the real Jesus. Let's be honest: podcast time in my life is super limited these days, but this one peaked my interest so I threw the kids in the car for a car nap and gave it a go. And I am so glad I did. One of the things I love most is that it is put out by a pastor and atheist friend duo who incredibly, beautifully, deepen their friendship by seeking out evidence for Jesus together despite their polar opposite views. Together they interview both Christian and secular historians, psychiatrists, theologians, and various other experts to try and find the answer to one of the most polarizing questions in human history: Who is Jesus Christ? It is fascinating. And an even bigger plus for those of you with limited podcast time: it's only ten episodes long and episodes are roughly 30 minutes in length. A totally doable commitment. You're welcome. 

 

Audio books and headphones for Moses. You guys. These things are the best. When we moved Moses and Jones into the same bedroom, I had to figure out a way to keep Moses occupied from the time he wakes up (a horrifying 6:30am) until the time I am ready to function (an appropriate 7:45) all without waking up Jones (who sleeps until like 9:30... who does that?! I'm jealy.). Enter audio books, which we were already doing, but also... headphones, which was a new big kid privilege we introduced him to! He listens quietly each morning, and then AGAIN at Jones' nap time, which gives me an excuse to nap too and I will hang on to this glorious trend as long as I can...read: until like, tomorrow, when we have a newborn. But it gets even better. I thought this would solely be a way for me to engage his mind and encourage rest at various times throughout the day, which it absolutely does. But you know what else it does? It tricks him into napping which is good for this pregnant momma AND IT ALLOWS ME TO SNEAK SNACKS WITHOUT HIM HEARING. He seriously has a hawk eye and impeccable hearing and a sixth sense when it comes to food, so I am for real when I say that this is a huge plus. He gets rest and I get to eat chocolate out in the open and in peace. Score. Double Score. 

Lush. I discovered this store earlier this year (thanks to my awesome sister & brother in law!) and I can't get enough of it. Here are a few of my favorite products that you have to check out because they are wonderful: 

• Bath Bombs... my favorite being this Sex Bomb, and just excuse the name because really it just smells amazing and leaves your skin feeling like a thousand babies bottoms.   
• Imperials Face Moistorizer... I don't think I'll ever use anything else ever again. 
• Lemony Flutter Cuticle Butter, great for both the hands AND the feet.
• Handy Guru Hand Cream. Love. 

Basically what I am saying is feel free to buy me anything from this store if you ever want to. This is next on my wish list. And yes, I am putting it out there for the internet to see. Ain't no shame.

Winter Recipes! Here are two of my favorite soup recipes for these cold winter nights:

• Butternut Squash Soup (seriously, there is so much cream cheese it will melt in your mouth and put the cellulite right on your thighs, it's just that delicious.) This is also why I need the Rump Booty Rub that I mentioned above. Obviously.
• Bean and Chicken Sausage Stew... because YUM. Add crushed red pepper for heat and it'll warm your body right up. 
• And, just because it's Christmastime and I can't NOT post about these..... Oreo Balls. So easy, yet so delicious. 

Last but not least, our Christmas was wonderful and we have a new glorious plan that I hope lasts forever. With both boys having December birthdays, we had a front row seat into how crazy and overstimulating all the presents could be with young kids. The five year old wanted to "help" the two year old open all his presents....and then play with all his presents. Gifts were torn open and then hastily thrown aside to hurry up and get to the next best thing. Trash was everywhere. Meltdowns ensued (perhaps even from me). If it sounds crazy, it's because it was. All the excitement can be overwhelming and overstimulating for me, much less a kid, and opening their birthday presents  honestly just felt more stressful than fun. And I totally get that some people enjoy the chaos and excitement and activity of Christmas morning, but I am learning that I am totally not one of those people and our boys' birthdays made me want something more slow and leisurely and calm for our Christmas day. I was hesitant that we could pull it off, but we did and it was more magical than I imagined. Moses woke up late that day (7:30... what, what!) so we had him cuddle in our bed and watch a Christmas movie until we were ready to wake up Jones. Then we made our coffee and and gathered the boys around the tree and told them the plan: Each person would open one gift at a time and we would all watch and rejoice in one another's gifts. Then, we would spend time enjoying that present before moving on to the next thing. And you know what? It actually worked. And was heavenly. We don't even get our boys many gifts at Christmas, but between gifts from other family members and all the leisurely breaks we took throughout the day, Christmas gift giving literally lasted from 9:00am-6:00pm. The boys would open a gift and then play with it for 20-30 minutes until we told them it was time to open another one; we were even pleasantly surprised when we told the boys that it was time to open another gift and Moses responded that he wanted to wait because he was having so much fun with his current toy-- this was what we hoped for and we were overjoyed to see it come to fruition! We took breaks to make breakfast, eat breakfast, drink all the coffee, devour oreo balls, and even took a family nap, and between all of that, we did not get to the big reveal (our family's famous scavenger hunt for the best gift) until evening. You guys, it was just the best. It was slow and calm and peaceful for me, and the boys got to practice patience and gratitude and enjoying what they were given in the moment. It was such a neat thing to experience the joy of gift giving all day long... because when I was a kid, I would wake up at 4:30 and all the gifts were opened by 5:30 and it felt like Christmas was over before the sun came up. My poor mother. Seriously, this way was the best it was the merriest Christmas for our little family. I hope we can make it a tradition.

What things are YOU loving this time of year? 

Happy Christmas!
courtney

Advent Guide

Hey, hey! Advent starts on Sunday and it is truly one of my most favorite times of the year. As easy as it is for December to be one of the busier months in our culture, our family has really tried to slow it down these past few years and I have grown to love the simplicity, slow pace, and togetherness that our holiday season brings. Between having both boys birthdays + Christmas in December, our wallets and time just won't allow for much else so we try to hunker down and enjoy a lot of sweet time at home together and I so hope it is something we can continue to do for years to come. One of the ways we have worked to achieve this is by creating an Advent guide for our family to do together at home. It is becoming a sweet tradition and something we look forward to and it gives our holiday meaning and purpose and intentionality in a season where we might otherwise feel pressure to attend all the things and make all the purchases. And so, I wanted to share this year's guide with you in case you were looking for a simple guide to walk your family through this Advent season as well.

This was obviously written with our boys in mind so there is so much freedom for you to take it and adjust it for your family. My biggest hope (aside from learning about the names of Jesus, who is He, why He came, and why He is coming again!) is that it will free you from the pressure of making Advent activities or buying craft supplies or spending a lot of money. Nearly every one of these activities is free and can be done in a few minutes at home. With the exception of a few additional outings, it really can be done with zero prep at all! You can switch days around or skip them altogether and pick back up without interfering with it's original intent.

What's mine is yours so I'd love for you to have it! Please let me know if you use it, how it goes, and what changes or modifications you make for your family. I'd love to hear all about it!

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Sunday, December 3 | Exact Representation | Read Hebrews 1:1-3. Talk about how God the Father is a spirit; we can not see Him but we can look to Jesus to know what He is like. Jesus is all of God poured into flesh. He is the exact and perfect representation of who God is. Explain what Advent is and how we will spend the next few weeks talking about the different names of Jesus so that we can better know who He is, why He came, and why He will come again.

Monday, December 4 | Carpenter | Read Mark 6:1-6. Give Jones some toy tools and let Moses hammer some nails into a block of wood. Talk about how Jesus was fully God, but also fully man. He was a man just like daddy. He had a job and his job was a carpenter. He built and fixed things. Talk about how it was hard for Jesus’ family and friends to recognize Him as God because they only thought of Him as an ordinary man with an ordinary job.

Tuesday, December 5 | Almighty God | God is Almighty- nothing is too hard for Him. Have DJ and the boys do a couple of strength games: arm wrestling, wrestling match, lifting contest, etc. Talk about how strong DJ is compared to them and then talk about how much stronger God is. He is the strongest one. Nothing is too hard for Him. Read Isaiah 59:1 (NLT) and talk about how the Lord is strong enough to save us.

Wednesday, December 6 | Indescribable Gift | Talk about all the presents Moses got for his birthday today. Have him describe his presents; what they are like and what he enjoys about them. Then read 2 Corinthians 9:15 and talk about how Jesus is the very best gift. He is so good that there are not enough words to fully describe Him!

Thursday, December 7 | Immanuel | Read Matthew 1:23. Talk about the significance of names. Donald means “World Ruler”. Courtney means “Short Nose”. Moses means “Drawn Out”. Jones means “God is Gracious.” Talk about why we chose such significant names for our boys and then talk about how Immanuel is a name that was used to describe Jesus. It means “God with us”. Talk about how Jesus came to live with and among people and how He is always with us and has promised to never leave us.

Friday, December 8 | Baby | Talk about babies…What are babies like? What do we think our new baby will be like when he comes? Talk about how amazing it was that God came to earth as a baby; that the Savior of the whole world left His glorious throne in Heaven to be born into a broken world among animals in a barn. Then read Luke 2:8-14 and go see the movie The Star as a family.

Saturday, December 9 | From Bethlehem | Go to Bethlehem Revisited in Waxahachie. On the way there, read John 7:42. Talk about how Jesus was born in Bethlehem and how we are going to see what it must have looked like when and where he was born. On the way home, talk about the things you saw, heard, and smelled. Talk about how humble Jesus was to leave the glories of Heaven to be born in such lowly circumstances.

Sunday, December 10 | Nazarene | Read Matthew 2:23. Look at the map and talk about where we are from. Just like Moses is Korean because he is from Korea, Jesus is called a Nazarene because he was from Nazareth. Point out Nazareth on the map and talk about what it is like there. Look at pictures online and eat pita bread and hummus as a snack.

Monday, December 11 | Consuming Fire | Turn on the fireplace and read Hebrews 12:29. Talk about times God appeared as a fire in scripture (Moses & the burning bush, leading the Israelites by a pillar of fire, etc). Watch The Fire on Owlegories.

Tuesday, December 12 | Healer | Read Matthew 8:14-17. Talk about how Jesus healed Peter’s mother-in-law. Talk about how Jesus has healed Moses’ itchy skin. Talk about how just like our physical bodies get sick and hurt and need to be healed, so too are our hearts sick with sin. Talk about how Jesus is the only one who can heal our sinful hearts.

Wednesday, December 13 | Deliverer | Read Galatians 1:3-5. Deliverer means one that saves from danger or destruction. Firemen deliver people from fires. Policemen deliver people from bad guys. Doctors deliver people from sickness. Talk about how we are all in danger of death and eternal separation from God, but that Jesus died to deliver us!

Thursday, December 14 | Living Water | Have a club soda date and watch Episode 3: The Water on Owlegories. Read John 4:7-14. Talk about how just like we cannot live without water and how it satisfies our thirst, so too can we not live without Jesus. He completely satisfies all our desires and needs!

Friday, December 15 | Light of the World | Go look at Christmas lights. Discuss John 8:12. Talk about light- how it lights up the darkness and helps us to see. Jesus is the light. He lights up the darkness of our sinful, broken world and helps us to see the Truth.

Saturday, December 16 | Creator | Go to the Sky Theatre at UNT and watch Seasons Reasons ($3 per person). Afterwards, talk about the weather, clouds, seasons, stars, and moon. Read Colossians 1:16-17 and talk about how God is the creator of all things. (Another option is to go to Zoo Lights and talk about how God created all the animals.)

Sunday, December 17 | Give the boys rocks and sensory sand to play with as we talk. Discuss the differences between a big rock and sand. Then read The Wise and Foolish Builders on page 191 in The Gospel Story Bible. Jesus is our support, our foundation and our refuge; talk about how we can build our lives on Him.

Monday, December 18 | Bread of Life | Bring home hot chocolate and pumpkin bread from Starbucks and watch The Bread on Owlegories together as a family. Read John 6:35. Just like our physical bodies need bread (food) to live and be healthy and strong, so too do our spiritual hearts need Jesus to live.  We eat food every day to survive; we should spend time with Jesus each day too! Talk about different ways that we can spend time with Jesus throughout the day.

Tuesday, December 19 | Man of Sorrows | Read Isaiah 53:3. Talk about what it means that Jesus was a man of sorrows and why he was well acquainted with sadness and grief. He knows what it means when we feel disappointed and sad. He understands when we feel that way and He can comfort us in our sorrow.

Wednesday, December 20 | Advocate | An advocate is someone who pleads on behalf of another. Show Moses pictures of when we went to court. He did not have to appear before a judge to ask for a family, because we did it for him! We went to the judge and advocated on his behalf; we fought to bring him into our family! Satan accuses us of our sin, but we do not have to appear before God because Jesus has already gone before us. Jesus advocated to the Father on our behalf and fought to bring us into His family.

Thursday, December 21 | Servant | Read Philippians 2:7. Talk about what a servant is. Talk about how Jesus was both a servant and a King. Read The Servant and The King on page 286 in The Jesus Storybook Bible and then discuss ways that we can serve like Jesus.

Friday, December 22 |  King of Kings | Talk about how a King is someone who is in charge of a whole country. Use the examples of Daddy being in charge of our family; a teacher being in charge of a class, and the President being in charge of our country. Some countries do not have Presidents, but kings who rule all the people who live there. Jesus is the King of Kings! He is in charge of every other king and of the whole world. He deserves our honor, respect, love, trust, and obedience. Read The King of all Kings on page 192 in the Jesus Storybook Bible and act it out with the Little People Nativity Scene.

Saturday, December 23 | Intercessor | Talk about prayer; what it is, the people and things we pray for, and why we pray. Read Romans 8:34 and talk about how Jesus prays for us too!

Sunday, December 24 | Friend | Talk about friendship. Who are our best friends? Why do we like them? How do we spend time with them? The Bible says that God is our friend too. Read Exodus 33:11 and talk about how we can be friends with God. He wants to walk with us and talk with us and spend time with us. Read Friend of Sinners in Thoughts To Make Your Heart sing and/or John 15:13 to see the different ways that Jesus modeled friendship for us.

Monday, December 25 | JESUS’ BIRTHDAY!

Happy Adventing,
courtney

Thanksgiving Devotionals

Last year I hung up a Thanksgiving banner and each night of Thanksgiving week, we kept Moses up a little late to read a bible verse and draw pictures of the things we were thankful for to hang on the banner. It was so sweet for our family that I decided to keep up the tradition. Last night I fleshed this idea out a tad more (though trust me, this is still a super rough draft) and although it's not fully formed, I wanted to share in case anyone desired to have more intentional conversation on gratitude this holiday season but may not have the bandwidth or desire to come up with something on their own.

I wrote these with Moses in mind, but feel free to modify according to your family! I think that this year, we will only do one or two devotionals a week instead of water hosing him with verses and conversation seven straight nights in a row. Because my sweet one is going through a season of grumbling and complaining and struggling to find things to be thankful for (....one of those things I think he might get from his momma!) my hope is that we can talk about one at a time and then give it a few days to simmer before we move on.

Also, special props to DJ who will actually be the one to lead this out with Moses! While the Lord usually prompts me with the desire to create and formalize little things like this, DJ is the one who takes the work and implements it and it is such a joy for me to watch him lead our family in this way. I love to see the different ways God has wired us and allows us to combine our efforts to work as a team in shepherding these little souls He has entrusted to us. My three guys... what a gift they are to me.

Again... super informal and not well drafted but I hope it blesses some (one!) of you. Take it and change it as desired. Also, I had major formatting issues when writing this post so if anything is wonky, I blame technology. Especially if the mistake is theological (wink).

Here you go:

One

Read Philippians 2:14. Do all things without grumbling or complaining.

What does it mean to grumble and complain? Take turns acting it out as a family.

What should we do without grumbling or complaining? Just some things? No, all things!

Read Philippians 2:14-15a: Do all things without grumbling and complaining, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God.

Who does this verse say that we look like when we do all things without grumbling and complaining? We look like children of God.

Who are children of God? Those who love and trust Jesus.

Read Philippians 2:14-15 in full: Do all things without grumbling and complaining, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God, without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.

Who do we look like when we grumble and complain? The world- those who do not know, love, or trust Jesus.

What does this verse say we are like when we do all things without grumbling and complaining? Lights in the world.

What do lights do? Help people to see in the darkness.

What can we help people to see when we give thanks instead of grumbling and complaining? We help them to see more of Jesus. We show them what it is like to trust God and have joy even when it doesn't make sense to.

What kind of things does our family grumble and complain about?

What should we do when we feel like grumbling and complaining? We can tell God how we feel and ask Him to give us grateful hearts. We can ask for his forgiveness. We can look for ways to be thankful even when things are not how we want them to be.

What can we be thankful for today?

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Two

Read 1 Thessalonians 5:18: Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

What does the word circumstance mean? The things that are happening to us or around us.

When does God tell us to give thanks? In just some circumstances? No, in all circumstances. We should give thanks in everything!

Do you think this sounds easy or hard to do?

What can we do when it feels hard to give thanks in all circumstances? We can ask God to help us!

Why does God say we should give thanks in all circumstances? Because this is His will for us.

What does that mean? That this is something that God wants for us to do. 

What are some circumstances that seem hard to give thanks in? How can we give thanks in those circumstances?

Some examples might be....

Being sick. Thank you God for making me a strong and healthy boy. Thank you for legs that walk, eyes that see, ears that hear, a brain that thinks, and a body that can play. Thank you that in heaven we will never experience sickness again. Please heal my body and make me well.

When we lose a toy. Thank you God for giving me toys. Thank you for being such a fun God who created such fun things. Thank you that nothing is hidden from you; thank you that you see me and thank you that you see my toy. Please help me to patiently look for it. 

When a toy breaks. Thank you God that I got to enjoy that toy while I did. Thank you that I still have many other toys to play with. Thank you that even though our toys change and break and do not last, it helps us to remember that you will never change. You are always the same and you will last perfectly forever. 

When we don't get what we want. Thank you God that you know what is best. Thank you that you do what is best when it is best. Help me to be patient and to trust your perfect timing.

When we get sent to our room. Thank you God for parents who love me. Thank you that discipline is for my good and leads to my joy. Thank you for a cozy room and a bed to sleep in and a home to live in.

When we don't get seconds or dessert. Thank you God for providing our food. Thank you that we get three meals a day and snacks in between. Thank you for a full belly and a healthy body. Thank you that you created delicious food. Thank you for all the times I get to enjoy the good tastes that you have made.

What can we be thankful for today?

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Three

Read Psalm 118:24: This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

What does this verse say that God has made? This day.

How are we supposed to respond to God today? By rejoicing and being glad.

What do you think it means to rejoice? To feel and express great joy and delight.

Do you think we should just have joy and delight and gladness on the really good days? No, on all days! 

How can we rejoice on days that it is raining out? By thanking God for watering the earth and playing in the rain!

How can we rejoice on days when we have school? By thanking God for minds that think and honoring him with a good attitude and hard work.

How can we be glad on days when we feel disappointed or angry or sad? By giving thanks in all circumstances and finding things to thank God for in the midst of our disappointment, anger, and sadness.

How can we rejoice when it feels like there is nothing to be glad about? We can remember what God has done in the past and thank Him for those things! We can look ahead to what God has promised and thank God that He is faithful to bring about those things. We can ask Him to help us find ways to be thankful today.

What can we be thankful for today?

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Four

As a family, build a kingdom made of blocks.

Read Hebrews 12:18a- Let us be thankful for receiving a Kingdom that cannot be shaken.

What is a kingdom? A kingdom is an area that is ruled by a King, Queen, or President. It is run by the person in charge.

What Kingdom do you think this verse is talking about? God's Kingdom!

What is God's Kingdom? All of heaven and earth. God is in charge of everything!

What does this verse say we should be thankful for? That God's Kingdom cannot be shaken.

What happens when something is shaken? It falls apart or breaks or becomes less sturdy.

Shake your block kingdom and talk about what happens as it is moved and shaken and beaten around. Did it stay together or fall apart? Was it strong or weak?

What does this verse mean when it says that God's Kingdom cannot be shaken? That it cannot come undone. It will not fall apart. It is not weak or able to be destroyed. It is strong and sturdy and will last forever.

What can we do on days where we feel shaken, worried, grumpy, scared, or weak? We can remember that we are weak but God is strong! We may be shaken, but He never is. We can thank God that His plans, purposes, and ways will never change or fall apart. We can thank God that His Kingdom lasts forever.

What are some things that we know about God's Kingdom that we can give thanks for? That all of His promises are true. That God uses all things (even the bad ones) for our good. That a day is coming where there will be no more sickness, sadness, tears, or death.

What can we be thankful for today?

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Five

Watch Veggie Tales: Madame Blueberry on Netflix together as a family. Afterwards, talk through the following questions:

Why is Madame Blueberry sad?

What does she wish she had more of?

Was Madame Blueberry thankful for all that she had?

Can more and bigger and better and nicer and cooler and yummier things bring us true and lasting happiness? Why or why not?

What do you wish you had more of? How do you think you would feel if you had more of it? How would you feel when those things began to break or get lost or taken or run out?

Mom and Dad- talk about a time that you wanted more of something. Did it truly satisfy? Why or why not?

Read Matthew 6:19-21 out loud. Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

What does this verse say can happen to the things that we love here on earth? Bugs can eat them, rust can destroy them, people can come and take them away from us. 

Is it wrong to love things here on earth? Things like toys and chocolate and family? No!

What do you think it looks like to love those things rightly? To thank God for those things and to enjoy them, but to remember that those things will not last forever and cannot bring us full happiness. 

What does this verse say we should love even more than the treasures we have on earth? Treasures in heaven.

What do you think that means? Loving Jesus most of all. Loving and trusting Him more than our stuff. Remembering his promises. Thinking about and looking forward to heaven.

Why does the bible say that these things should be our greatest treasure? Because these things last forever! They will never change or go away or break or be taken from us.

What can we be thankful for today?

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Six

As a family, read 1 Timothy 6:7-8. For we brought nothing into the world and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 

What does this verse say that we bring into this world when we are born? Nothing.

What does this verse say that we take with us when we die? Nothing.

This verse mentions two things that we need. What are they? Food and clothing. 

How does this verse say we should respond if we have food and clothing? With contentment. 

What is contentment? To be happy and satisfied and to feel like you have enough or all that you need.  

Do you believe that you can be happy with just those two things?

What can we do when we notice our hearts not being content with what we already have? We can talk to God about the things we are unhappy with. We can always ask him for more, but then we can trust that He knows what is best and gives what is best when He knows it is best. We can wait patiently and learn to be content with what we have. We can learn to be okay even if God says "no" or "not right now". We can express thanks for what we have instead of always looking for more.

What can we be thankful for today?

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Seven

Read Psalm 9:1. I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.

What does this verse say that we should give to the Lord? Thanks

What do you think it means to give thanks with our whole hearts? To not just say thank you because we are supposed to, but to truly feel thankful and to tell him!

What can we do when we do not feel fully thankful? We can be honest with God and tell him that sometimes it is hard to feel thankful. We can practice saying thank you and ask God to give us hearts that mean it. 

What else does this verse tell us to do? Remember all of God's wonderful deeds.

Why do you think it might be important to remember what God has done? Remembering what God has already done for us can help us to feel grateful for the past and present! When we look back on what God has done, we are reminded of His goodness to us and can trust Him with what is to come.

Play a game of Pictionary and draw pictures of the wonderful things that God has already done for our family. Talk about those things together.

What can we be thankful for today?

xoxo,
courtney

The Good Things In Life

Lately, and especially in light of yet another mass shooting, I am becoming more and more aware of my inability to fully protect my children from harm. Their salvation, safety, and protection are all ultimately things I cannot guarantee or ensure and that is a heartbreaking and scary reality for me. This alone is a weight too heavy to bear, let alone the fact that I am struggling to entrust them to the Lord all the while knowing that somehow, in His perfect wisdom, God sometimes still allows horrific things to happen. I can trust Him with my children, but they could still get cancer, be abused, reject God, or lose their lives. We live in a fallen and broken world where horrific things happen and I just don't want to accept that.

And so, in an attempt to ignore my feelings and not process through such weighty things, I think another post on the good things in life is in order because we could all use a little happy today, am I right? In no particular order, here are some things I am loving lately:

Gifs. Oh my word, I think these have been around a while but they are my new best friend. I try to respond to as many of DJ's texts as possible with them, and even then I usually respond with multiple because there are too many outright hilarious ones to choose just one. Also, I love my children but let's not pretend I haven't sent this one to DJ on multiple occasions when he asks how my day is going:

Atypical. Have you guys seen this show? It is the most endearing thing ever. It follows the story of an 18 year old boy on the autism spectrum as he pursues love and dating and the show gets you all entangled in the personal lives and dynamics of his family as well. If you liked Max Braverman's story line on Parenthood, you will love this show too. DJ and I watched the entire first season all too quickly and I am so sad it's over. Season Two needs to hurry it up.

 

All You Do Is Good. This song by Nathan Partain is the cry of my heart lately. On repeat. All day, every day. 

Of Mess and Moxie by Jen Hatmaker. Why do I even feel like I have to make a disclaimer here? I know that Jen is a hot topic button in the evangelical world right now. I know the controversies and there are a number of really important issues that I personally do not agree with her on. But a wise friend once told me to eat the fish and spit out the bones, and I'm honestly proud of myself for not doing away with Jen altogether just because we disagree on some things. I would have done that in the past and I think it's possible that you can miss out on a lot when you throw the baby out with the bathwater. When it comes down to it, I still think she is hilarious and a great story teller and she even has some really valuable things to say and challenge me on when it comes to Christian living. And, I read this book on the heels of a real snoozer so I appreciated her ability to make me laugh out loud and keep me engaged all the way through. I still encourage it as a fun, light hearted, LOL kind of read.

 

My husband. I think I adore him too much, ya'll. I often joke that if he ever dies and I get remarried, that next guy is screwed because there is just no way another man could add up in my eyes. DJ is just the best and here are just a few reasons why as of late: He values my girl time and makes sure I get it. We might not be rolling in the dough and yet he didn't think twice about getting me a plane ticket to go see my best friend this week. He knows it's important for me to get away and maintain one of my favorite friendships and he works hard to make it happen even when it would just be easier not to. And, even though I was created to be his helpmate, goodness he is such a helper to me. This man surprised me by taking off work tomorrow to follow me to the airport, get our luggage on the shuttle, get the suit case and car seat checked in and get me and the boys through check in and off to security, not because he thinks I can't do it on my own but because he recognizes that it will be hard and he just wants to come help and serve us. What a man, ya'll. He's not afraid to load us all up in the car and take us to Target IN OUR PJ's because everyone is stressed and losing it at home and we just need to get out of the house stat without bothering to change before we go. He makes sure my kids get things like fast food and ice cream and hot wheels and he sends them hilarious Snap Chat videos and if it wasn't for him, I'm convinced that my kids wouldn't know what fun, junk food, or the internet even are. He does the dishes every night. He is more lenient than me on some things with the kids, and yet he supports me, parents alongside of me, and goes at my pace, always patiently waiting for me to take the next step without hurrying me along. He sacrifices the things he loves to do to be home an extra amount of time while our boys need their daddy and I need his help, and he is all around just the very best one. And he does all of that while being so dang good to look at.  Even when he's in his PJ's at Target.

Desiring God's Here We Stand daily devotionals on the Reformation. I am loving learning about the wise and brave men who paved the way for such an amazing, massive, difficult and beautiful movement and am grateful for the opportunity to understand more of what happened 500 years ago to shape the Church into what it is today. It's a fascinating read and will only take up 5 minutes of your day. Check it out.

There's still of good and beautiful things that God is doing and a lot to be thankful for and to enjoy even in this heartbreaking and messed up world. So let's hear more of it. What are some things that you are loving lately?

much love,

courtney

Why We Chose Classical Conversations

In my last post, I wrote about why we decided to home school this year. And because I know you are all on the edge of your seats and dying to hear more, I wanted to spend this post elaborating on why we chose the particular program that we did. We are just four weeks in and I am already so in love with Classical Conversations. Here are just a few reasons why:

1. On a totally joking yet completely serious note, I think it appeals to my inner self... you know, the part of me that feels more like Laura Ingalls Wilder or Dr. Quinn Medicine Women than my obviously misplaced Millennial self. I truly think I belong on a prairie, wearing bonnets and pioneer dresses, driving covered wagons, and teaching in a one room school house more than I do existing in the here and now. Not that this program is outdated by any means, because it most definitely is not.... but there is something about the model, values, curriculum, parent-led instruction, and small classroom feel that just appeals to the New Worlder in me. I seriously wish I lived in the 1800's. I mean, doesn't this just look so charming and wonderful?!

2. It's Classical. Let's be honest: the term "Classical Education" was super ambiguous to me until just a few months ago. Kind of like how "Spiritual Leadership" feels in Christian circles, where everyone knows it's important, but no one knows what it's supposed to practically look like (amiright?!). That was me and Classical Education until just recently. For the longest time it felt like a cool club that I wanted to be a part of without even knowing what the club was. Since, though, I have learned that in terms of education, the word "classical" in it's broadest sense just means that the method is timeless and proven. It has been effectively used for over 2500 years and is the model that great minds like Aristotle, C.S. Lewis, Plato, Thomas Jefferson, and Helen Keller were schooled by. It's history, repertoire, and alumni alone are super impressive to me. 

3. The Trivium. Classical Conversations also implements another important facet of classical education: the Three Stages of Learning, also known as the Trivium. These three phases are Grammar, Dialectic, and Rhetoric and they appeal to the developmental stages of learning that children naturally go through. For the sake of space, I will only focus on Moses' phase in this blog, but you can learn more about the entire Trivium here. As for us, we are currently in the Grammar phase which is basically just memorization, memorization, memorization. In this phase of development, children learn the vocabulary, rules, and facts associated with any given subject. Kids are not yet understanding how or why this information matters, they are simply memorizing the terminology through repetition, songs, chanting, and rhymes. If you have spent any time with a young child, you know that they are brilliant. Their minds are sponges which is beautiful and fascinating, but also terrifying for me because Moses doesn't forget all of the crazy momma moments I wish that he would. I'm just waiting for the day when he says, "Momma, remember the day you acted like a fool and stomped your foot at me?!" or, "Momma, remember that time you were so frustrated that you screamed bloody murder at the top of your lungs like a crazy mad woman?" Yes, these things happened because I am awesome at momming. And yes, they are things that I desperately want to pretend never happened all the while knowing that they are seared in his brain forever. Lucky me. On a more positive note, he has easily and quickly memorized 4 weeks of New Grammar like it was his job so this program knows what's up. He can tell you what happened in American History from 1492-1776, has memorized his multiplication tables up to 8's, and can define what an infinitive, present participle, and past participle are. He may not have any context for those things, but that thought hasn't even occurred to him; his development stage of learning is primed for memorization and he is perfectly content to just soak up the terminology for now. One day he will need to apply this material, and when that day comes he will already have the terms and facts memorized and will easily be able to plow ahead into understanding and application. Also, it is fascinating how much he is seeing his curriculum play out in real life. If we are reading a book and it randomly mentions Delaware, he proudly exclaims that the capital of Delaware is Dover, something he has learned in Geography (who knew?!). This morning he hit Jones on the head and when I gave him a look of warning, he happily told me that he had hit his brother's cranium. I mean, it's just hard to get mad when he is adequately identifying the axial skeleton. The other day we were reading a book on church history and without it even being mentioned, Moses was able to pull from context that Anne Bradstreet was a Pilgrim who came over for the same reasons as those on board the Mayflower. A quick google search confirmed that he was right, and I was amazed. His face lights up with glee at any mention of Christopher Columbus, the Mayflower, George Washington, or Thomas Jefferson, which who even realized these things were talked about in real life anymore but he sees and hears things that remind him of school all the the time and can't wait to tell you what he has learned about those people and subjects... it is so fun to watch him connect the dots and to enjoy learning.

4. It's cyclical. Classical Conversations has three cycles in their grammar stage and they fascinate me. If we stick with CC, Moses will go through each cycle 3 times before he graduates to the dialectic stage. Not only does the repetition appeal to his developmental stage of learning, but it will also help ensure that the information sticks. Here's a brief look at each cycle. I get giddy just looking at it.

5. I am redeeming my own education. As a student, I made good grades but I wouldn't say that I was well educated. I was taught to memorize something long enough to pass a test and as soon as I did, the information was forgotten. It was never truly memorized, repeated, or brought up again. I see this play out in my daily life even now, in that as soon as I complete a job it is out of my mind and I forget about it altogether. Even worse, I see how this has made it difficult to study, learn, and memorize scripture because I don't know how to truly study, meditate on, or memorize anything. So forget Moses, I have learned SO MUCH these past four weeks and I am loving it. Classical Conversations doesn't teach you what to think, it teaches you how to think and there is a big difference. As for me, I feel like I am understanding the world with great clarity for the first time, particularly when it comes to history. I am learning about how our nation was formed and from Christopher Columbus to the Pilgrims to the Boston Tea Party and the Declaration of Independence, I see how these events are all connected and a part of what made our nation form. We are learning about the world's timeline from creation to current day and I am fascinated to see how biblical & world history intertwine. I also love how Classical Conversations doesn't shy away from secular ideas and information. We have been introduced to different philosophers and world religions and get to have small conversations about what other people believe all the while pointing back to the one true God. (Side note: Moses may or may not refer to Confucius as Confu-shits, and I am pretty sure I will never correct him.) I love to write and for the first time I feel like I am getting a grasp of true grammar rules and how to properly structure sentences (no judging my post, please. I'm still learning and only on a four year old level). The other day I was really sick and felt like I was able to identify and pinpoint exactly what system in my body was not functioning properly, all thanks to CC teaching me all about tissue, muscle, the axial skeletal system, the nervous system and more. It is amazing. I feel like I am enjoying education for the first time ever.

6. It's an international program. I love that CC is literally everywhere, but my favorite part is that my best friend is doing it in D.C. and no matter where you are in the world, the information being taught is the same. My friend and I talk all throughout the week about the lessons and share ideas and activities with one another and it is just one more way that our lives are intersecting even from states away. In a few weeks me and the boys are going to visit her family and because we are doing the same program, our Fall Breaks align and we get to vacay together without anyone's kids missing school. Our kids will have been learning the same things and will be able to relate to one another on that level, which will be fun to see. And, if we ever were to move, we could pick up and find a local CC group near us without missing or skipping a beat because the information taught is universal no matter where you are geographically located. Score.

7. It's Christian. Everything about this curriculum points to God. It seeks to find truth, goodness, and beauty in all that is taught and it points to God as the Creator of all that can be studied, discovered, and known. For a momma who tries to live out Deuteronomy 6:6-9, this curriculum only better helps me to do that and that is a huge win.

8. It's done in community. I'm a little too black and white to be thrown to the wolves and trust myself to home school ALL BY MYSELF WITHOUT ANY HELP. That sounds terrible and like a recipe for failure. I need something to follow, and people to do it with. Mondays are our Community Day where Moses sits in a classroom with a tutor and 8 other students. He is getting the traditional, modern classroom experience while I learn from the tutor and become better equipped on how to continue teaching the material the rest of the week at home. This program allows for mommas to not only share ideas and activities with one another, but to get together and tag team on schoolwork throughout the week. Bonus. Plus, almost all of the curriculum is provided for me and all I am having to supplement this year is Reading, Writing, and Math. I feel like that is totally doable for an amateur momma like me.

And though the curriculum may seem rigorous, don't think we aren't having fun over here. School takes us two hours at the very most and includes a lot of fun & games. Moses is learning his states and capitals by placing chocolate chips on a map, and for every correct answer he and Jones get rewarded with chocolate. What's not to love?! We learn about fine arts by drawing 17th century merchant ships, painting abstract art, step-by-step drawing, and blob mapping. Today we made a spinal cord out of candy and there is a lot of running, jumping, throwing, and hop scotch involved as he learns his numbers, vowels and syllables. And we read a lot! There are a ton of fun children's books on all the history, science, and art lessons we have done. But let's be honest, I think I'm having more fun than he is. 

Here are a few pictures of school so far this year. Jones participates with us too but because he is usually in his undies, I'll save him the shame.

 Abstract Art

Spinal Cord Candy Craft

Drawing the Mayflower

 

Today's Nervous System activity. Confession: I may have yelled at my kids in the making of this project. I mean, they were traipsing over and ripping the paper BEFORE WE EVEN STARTED. My controlling nature just cannot deal. We had to stop to pray, confess, and repent of momma's sinful heart before the fun even began. Nothing but real life over here. This activity was actually really fun and helped Moses to learn how the nervous system works. And, because we like to keep things saucy over here, we added undies to our guy. Modesty first, ya'll.

Science Copywork on three kinds of muscle

Moses' first free hand drawing of the United States

 

Using bean bags to count syllables

 

Some of our favorite books so far this year are below. Click the pictures to be taken to the Amazon link.

 

 

Not that you can tell by the length of this, but I really am trying to weed out my words and shorten my posts so that people can actually hang in there and get through them without falling asleep. So even though I could go on and on and on about why I am loving CC, I think I will stop there. If you ever want to know more, please ask me and I will gladly talk your ear off about it.

Love,

Courtney

Why we decided to Home School this year

Let me first start off this post by saying that I in no way think that me and DJ have the whole education thing all figured out. I mean, hello, my oldest is only 4 and this is our first year and we are only just getting our feet wet in the world of homeschooling. My goal for this year is to take it easy, not push it, test the waters, and get a realistic idea of whether or not this is the trajectory we would like to continue on for Moses' elementary years. We do not think our decision is the best way, or the only way, and we have zero judgment on anyone pursuing a different route than us. I have attended forums where Christian families talk about the type of education they chose for their children and I am fascinated every time. Some of the most God-honoring families I know have chosen the various routes of public school, private school, and home school for their children; each one has done so based on the direction they felt God was leading them in and each of their reasons was encouraging, holy, and commendable. Me and DJ both grew up in the public school system, most of my closest friends have their kids in private or university model schools, and until recently I knew almost zero families who home schooled. And yet, it is the decision that we have decided to pursue for our family and I could not be more excited about it. This post is simply about us and our journey and why we have made this decision. My next post will be about why we chose the Classical Conversations program so stay tuned for that, because obviously this is a topic worth being on the edge of your seat about.

One more little caveat: the title of this blog post suggests that we, me and DJ, made the decision to home school, but the reality is that DJ has entrusted nearly the entirety of this decision to me. Can I just brag on my husband a bit? Because over the course of our marriage, I have proven to feel very strongly about a few number of things that he cares much less about, but he has taken the time, thought, humility, and care to consider my stand point and has come out encouraging and supporting me every time. When we were pursuing a family, I felt very strongly that I wanted to stay at home to raise our kids and DJ did not see the value in it at the time. We both had working moms and were raised in day cares and we turned out fine so he didn't see the necessity to pursue me staying home if it did not make sense to do so financially, which believe me, it did not. Adopting Moses really helped aid our decision in this because we felt strongly that my staying home would expedite his bonding and transition into our family, but over the course of time DJ has valued my presence in the home so much that he now says he will do whatever he can and make as many sacrifices as we need to before I have to go back to work. Then, when we got pregnant with Jones, I felt very strongly that I wanted to pursue a natural, mid-wife assisted delivery in a birth center, and again DJ did not feel strongly one way or another about the kind of care I received. Hospital births were all he knew so it was completely outside of his realm to consider otherwise. But when I proposed a natural birth outside of the hospital, he took the time to watch documentaries, listen to the research I acquired, heard why it was important to me, and suddenly became an advocate for it himself! And again, with home school, can I just be honest and say that we were the people who made fun of home schoolers? Like, we thought they were awkward and dorky and anti-social and basically committed ourselves to never home schooling our own children. And then as I have seen how Moses is wired and grown in my role as a momma, I have become more and more drawn to the idea of educating at home. And DJ entrusted the decision to me, acknowledging that to do so would put a ton of weight and responsibility on my role as a wife and momma and that if it was a role I wanted to assume then he would support and encourage my desire to do so. I am not one to have strong opinions. Like ever. But I am thankful that when I do have them, my husband listens and honors and encourages and supports them. As I often sing Salt N Pepa style in my home, whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty good man have I married. He is truly the best.

Anyway, on to my original point. Without further ado, here are the primary reasons that we are trying out Home School this year:

1. Crafts & Creativity. DJ bought me a laminator to prep and organize all my school supplies. I am in laminating heaven, you guys. This is 100% reason enough to Home School. I'm kidding. Kind of. Here is just one of the things I got super craft happy about: Our morning board!! See that blank spot on the right? I welcome all of your ideas for what to incorporate there.

2. Peace. The school question is one that lead me into serious anxiety. I could not have a conversation about it without having a questionable amount of pit sweat. And to be honest, home school actually started off in the top running simply by the process of elimination. I had some hesitancies about the public school system and private school was just not going to be a financial decision we could realistically afford. These two things alone made home school stand out as a top contender, but even then I was uncertain and overwhelmed at which route to take. And yet, the more I learned about home school and researched the various models and programs that are out there, the more confident and encouraged I felt. And gradually, my pits stopped sweating and all that was left was peace and excitement. Peace goes a long way and in this case, it felt like confirmation.

3. Time, flexibility, and simplicity! These are all values that our family prioritizes. For your sake,  I'll break these three up in order to make this post appear shorter than it actually is. You're welcome.

As for time, I love that home school allows for so much togetherness. A lot of family time is never a bad thing so we want to get as much of it as we can, especially in these little years when their minds are hearts are still so very formative. Not only that, but I think it is hard for any momma to send her 5 year old off to Kindergarten, but in Moses' case, we have only had him for (less than) three years and I am still soaking up every minute with him and still making up for so much lost time.

Home school also allows for a lot of flexibility. I am not naive that home schooling can be difficult; I think in many ways it can be the harder route. But I also appreciate that school will allow us to take breaks when needed, to blow off steam and frustration, and to let my crazy boys burn off all their energy. I've heard that it is hard for young boys to sit still for long periods of time and that they learn well through action and activity so I like that this method will both give me opportunities to train them to sit still, all the while allowing them to learn while zooming cars or shooting a basketball or running laps through the house when needed. I also appreciate the flexibility of getting outside to enjoy nature, learning in the backyard, having play dates with friends, getting to run errands and continuing to do normal life, all in the midst of our home school day. I don't think that education is separate from the rest of life and I look forward to continuing to teach while grocery shopping, baking a pie, doing laundry, or whatever else I am doing that I can invite them into. And, let's be honest, rushing out the door to get my kids to school on time sounds a little bit like death to me. I can do it, but I cannot do it well and probably not without yelling at and harping on my kids. I love our slow mornings and easing into our day. I love that home school will allow us the space to build our own schedule. With a baby on the way, flexibility is something we need to strive for and be okay with.

And simplicity! We strive for so much of this and it is like swimming upstream in today's culture. But I really do think that home school will allow for more of this and will keep things chill and low key, less competitive, and will hopefully reduce the pressure I would inevitably feel to "keep up with the Jones'" if we were invited to 25 birthday parties a year and had to be in all the sports and camps and activities that all the other kids were in. I'm going to ignore those things a little bit longer, yes please.

4. Gifting & Skill Set. I have surprised myself as a mom. I think I thought I would be super fun and would play all the cars and build all the legos and take them all the places, but I kind of suck at those things. But I have seen that what I most enjoy and am most strong in and gifted at is teaching. Who would have thought?! Any opportunity to teach, disciple, read, and converse with my kids is where I thrive and find joy and these are the things that I feel surprisingly good at. I just never knew this about myself. I worked as a Children's Ministry Assistant for 7 years and not once felt confident, at ease, or in my comfort zone when the opportunity to teach a room full of kids presented itself. But it turns out that I stored up all of those years of children's doctrine in my heart, and they flow out with so much joy onto my children. I am so excited about the opportunity to teach my kids, and I actually think I might be good at it. I want to leverage that opportunity and gifting while I can.

5. Moses' wiring. When we got Moses, his foster family told us that he was bright. And because we had never spent any amount of time with any two year olds, we didn't know what that meant, but goodness, their words have proven to be true. Almost immediately we discovered that Moses had a gift with words, transitioned languages so easily, and spoke with such great articulation and maturity. He is four years old and reads at a first grade level, which I don't like admitting because I think it sounds braggy, but honestly I think this has very little to do with me and moreso is just evidence of how he is wired and that he is able to see letters and easily connect them into words. I appreciate that the home school model that we are doing will allow me to keep him alongside his peer group, as well as teach him at his level without being confined to a standard one size fits all curriculum. I want to continue encouraging, challenging, and cultivating these strong suits and I fear that he would end up being neglected by teachers and grow bored with reading if we were in a more traditional setting. At the same time, we have spent almost zero time learning other normal things for kids his age, so I think being in a class with other 4 year olds will help him to stay on track with what he should be learning at his age.

6. Christian education. I love that home school allows for God to be a part of our learning experience. In the program that we are doing, God is central to every subject that we will discuss. Everything my kids will learn will point to God and His good and wise design. I don't think that faith & education can be or should be separate entities from one another and I love how the home school experience will allow us to practically live out the command in Deuteronomy 6 to talk about God diligently with my children, from the moment we rise in the morning until we go to bed at night. A 7 hour day without mention of God or the opportunity to pray or to talk about His world and His ways and His wisdom may one day come, but while my kiddos are so young and impressionable and formative, I hope to integrate God into every aspect of our life as often as I can.

7. Protection. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that protection and fear had a little something to do with our decision. Obviously, I feel both of those things to a certain degree, although I really don't think it's the primary motivation behind our decision. And, I also do think that wisdom is mixed in there somewhere as well. I desire to teach my kids about the world and to expose them to secular ideas and worldviews, but I also want to be the one to first introduce them to those things. I want to teach those things through the lens of the gospel, talk through them in a way that I know they can understand, and provide a safe place for them to ask questions and give honest answers. I am not ready to put them in the hands of friends and families and educators who do not share our same beliefs and values and trust that they will teach and expose certain things in the ways that we want our children to first learn and hear about them. I want the opportunity to be able to define terms and explain how and why God created and designed things the way He did without entrusting such monumental details to strangers that I have never met. And, Moses in particular is a follower through and through. He pays attention to what others say and do and longs to fit in with the crowd. He is easily influenced and while I most definitely want my children to learn to be in the world without being of the world, Moses for one is not ready to be thrown to the wolves. I hope to spend these young years cultivating certain traits in him so that if and when the time comes to put him in a more traditional setting, he will be equipped to be a leader or influencer or missionary or wise follower in that place.

So there you have it.... our reasons for pursuing home school this year, and that's all that they are: our reasons and no one else's.

And just for free, this is a great podcast to listen to in this regard. In it, two godly mommas are interviewed and talk about the reasons God lead them to public school verses home school and they discuss how they have faithfully followed God in each of their decisions.

Much love,

Courtney

On Discontentment; Part Two

This month marks three years since we moved to Garland. The very week that we moved, I sat under the teaching of a local pastor (not my own, lest you try and figure it out!) who was describing the kind of people that Jesus chose as his disciples. You know, the uneducated, blue collar, money stealing kind of folk that nobody else liked. To give us a bit of urban context and to help us really understand the kind of people that Jesus chose to dwell among and befriend, he referred to them as..... the Garlandites. At the time, I actually remember being really encouraged despite this negative and fairly inappropriate analogy. In the moment that it was spoken, I was able to cast those words aside and instead chose to model after the example of Christ; if Jesus Himself wasn't embarrassed of His city or the people in it, then neither would I be. But over time, that pastor's words left their mark and an identity settled over me that I haven't yet been able to shake. I mean, really. If not even a local Dallas pastor can have a heart for Garland, then what did that say about me?

Three years ago, my discontentment started small: with my city, my neighborhood, and my home. Since then, it has only grown. It has included everything from my image and fashion (or lack thereof; see my previous post, On Being Girly), to my social circles and the uncertainty of where I belong (hello, why did nobody tell me that I would still struggle with this in my thirties?!), and has extended well past our home and on to the things we fill it with. This last one? It's the thorn in my flesh as of late. And it is never-ending. I have become convinced that things like comparison, jealousy, and discontentment are where the soul goes to die.

Somewhere along the way, I totally bought into the American Dream. I thought that the older you get, the more stuff you have and the nicer that stuff is. Nevermind that this myth is in complete contradiction to real life, because at least in my case, the older I've gotten, the more kids I have and the more they eat all our food and ruin all our stuff. I believed the lie that when you are in your thirties it's no longer stressful when your heater breaks or your car needs maintenance or your kid gets a virus and you buy all the medicine from all the stores hoping to make it go away. For some reason, I thought money fell from the sky like manna and that real grown ups in their thirties would laugh in the face of unexpected expenses because they would obviously have all the resources to handle it. And perhaps the biggest lie of all? I have come to believe that homes are less about shelter and safety and family and community and hospitality and memories and rest and more about a place to showcase all my trinkets in hopes that they would paint an amazing picture of who I am. And by who I am, what I really mean is who I want to be.

It's all lies. And quite honestly, I have believed them good and well. I'm not even sure what my deal is because DJ and I are doing perfectly fine. We have all that we need. We eat too well, go on dates, take little trips, have a lot of second dinners, and have a lovely home that the Lord miraculously provided for us. We are not struggling or hurting or anxious, and like Paul mentions in Philippians 4, we have walked through seasons of plenty (hello freshly married two income couple without kids! We were rich and didn't even know it!) to seasons of need where it literally felt like God was stripping our money like Gideon's army (hello two layoffs that we didn't know were coming and how they ended up being the best times of our lives!). And in both times of abundance and times of uncertainty, He has provided more than we could ever imagine and Has cared for each of our needs in full.

But just because we have all that we need and then some doesn't mean that my heart isn't always longing for bigger. And better. And more. And it certainly doesn't mean I don't struggle to want all the stuff I don't have. Or to be more accurate, wanting the appearance of being able to afford those things even if I don't actually want them myself. And just because we are doing okay, doesn't mean we aren't making sacrifices. Because we are. A lot of them. Choosing to say yes to staying at home with my kids means that we are also choosing to say no to a plethora of other things and it's not always easy. In fact, it can be really hard. So often I find myself just wishing to get to the place where buying the kids clothes and paying school tuition and getting my nails done just for fun could feel less like things that make my pits sweat and more like things I can do with a kind of carefree spirit that lets us do all the fun and extra things without it feeling like they are such a big decision every time. And each time I have this thought, I feel like the Spirit intercedes and reminds me that maybe we will never have that kind of freedom with money. Maybe we will always be kept in a place of having just what we need, with little to nothing more, so that each decision is one we have to take before the Lord and ask for His wisdom and guidance and direction rather than moving on without considering Him at all. Which is exactly what I would do if I were in the position to do so.

God is teaching me a lot about discontentment and the love of money these days. He is showing me things like...

The bible has so much to say about finances and possessions and none of it sounds like the American Dream to me. From what I am learning, and as Melissa Kruger has so eloquently put it, the biblical expectation of the Christian life is not one of upward mobility, but of humble service. It is not presented as a life of ease, but one of toil and struggle; a life frequently compared to that of a battle, a marathon, or childbirth rather than a climb up the corporate ladder into a cloud made of money. I've never fought in a battle because I'm not interested in dying, and I've never competed in a marathon because I don't like signing myself up for hard on purpose, but I have experienced natural childbirth and that example alone is enough to help me understand that my short time here on earth is perhaps more about labor and strife than I want it to be.

The bible also says that riches and honor and the earth and everything in it comes from God, but that each of those things are to be used for Him and His glory instead of on myself. Just a little PSA: that's not my natural tendency with money. I want all the clothes and all the date nights and all the food. All for myself, and a little bit for DJ. And none for my kids, because when it comes to food I agree with Joey from Friends:

God warns us not to put our hope or peace in our wealth because it can dwindle in a moment, but to put our trust in Him and His Kingdom, both of which will last forever.

Even more contrary to popular belief, the bible says that the more we give away, the more we will have, the more our riches will increase, and the more joy and peace and contentment we will find. If I didn't believe the bible was the absolute true word of God, I would think that might be the biggest oxymoron I ever heard, because everything in me thinks that sounds just a little bit backwards and I have a hard time following through with that command and believing in what it says.

The bible goes on. It says that the righteous give freely and do not hold back, but this is also a hard one for me because everything in my heart seems to scream otherwise, similar to the way a toddler yells "MINE!" when faced with the dilemma of sharing or hoarding. The truth is, I really am just a big toddler at heart, it's just not socially appropriate for me to behave like one in public.

God also counsels us that wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but that saving little by little leads to great growth, which is good news for us, because little by little is all we have.

Proverbs 15 alone had a lot to teach me about discontentment and love of money. It says that the home of the righteous has much treasure, but my favorite thing about this is that I'm pretty sure that treasure has nothing to do with bank accounts and material items but everything to do with peace and joy and comfort and love, all of which truly are the greater treasures, are they not? That passage goes on to say that it is better to have a little with fear of the Lord, than a lot of money and all the trouble that comes with it. Even more convicting is when it says a simple dinner with friends and loved ones is better than a fancy dinner full of hatred. Do you want to know an honest little secret? My heart has responded to Pinterest and social media and magazines and real life friends by actually becoming embarrassed of my home and no longer wanting to have people in it. Because my home doesn't look perfect and it's not lovely or the most up to date or look like everyone else's and apparently I'd rather shut myself in and become a recluse than let people see my unfarmhoused home. Not only am I tempted to stop having people over, but I also struggle to go to others' homes as well because apparently it's a breeding ground for the discontentment in my heart. It turns into a battle every time, as I look around at what others have and how fresh and pretty and trendy their homes look compared to mine, and I come home feeling like I'm just not cool or rich or decorative enough.

My heart is ugly and yet there is further instruction for me still. God says that wisdom and understanding are better than money and integrity and that a good name is better than riches, but sometimes I truly believe that wooden counter tops and white cabinets and new furniture would be better than dealing with the intricacies of my heart.

God tells us that one's life does not consist in the abundance of our possessions, that the things we have do not last, that we cannot take them with us when we die, that the point of our possessions is to share with those in need, and that it is possible to find peace and contentment in even the most limited and lacking of seasons.

He tells me not to be afraid when another man grows rich or the glory of his home increases and reminds me that no one takes any of it with them when they die, but afraid and jealous and comparing is exactly what I do despite His sound instruction that encourages me otherwise.

There are many warnings to the rich, such as how hard it is for them to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven, how easily it can lead to greed and stinginess, how it can actually result in great lack, how riches are unable to satisfy, how money can lead to oppression, and how with it many are tempted away from God. And yet I want all those things despite the red flag warnings that come with them.

The bible probably says a lot more on the subject, but these are the ones I'm working through right now. Obviously God has a lot to say about this struggle of mine. And obviously I still have a lot to learn.

I've been doing Jennie Allen's bible study called Stuck and in it she refers to this blog post from Katie Davis Majors. It was so good that I thought I'd make my own similar list of sacrifices we are making and joys we are finding in this season. Things like:

• I want a nice yard with beautiful landscaping, but even more than that I am thankful that my husband chooses to devote a simple hour and half to yard work each week that keeps the yard nice and trimmed, rather than spending the entire weekend in the yard making it beautiful while we are in a season of littles who need their daddy and a momma who needs his help. I keep reminding myself that a day is coming when the boys will be older and bigger and can help their daddy in the yard and it will be a win win that they can bond and make the yard beautiful at the same time, but right now it's more of a win to have daddy helping inside rather than out and I am more than okay with that. We may not have freshly planted flowers but we do have weeds and sidewalk chalk and muddy diggers and that's just the reality of what our life looks like right now. 

• I really, really want a pretty rug on my living room floor, but more than I want to spend several hundred dollars, I've settled on introducing my kids to the joy and simplicity of pallets made of blankets because that's what my mom did for me and I have the fondest memories of being cuddled up and watching TGIF with her for the entire duration of the 90's. And let's be honest, the pallet is more comfortable than a rug anyway and has led to countless hours of snuggling and reading and wrestling and pillow fights and good father-son time, none of which we were having near this much of when we were palletless. It's hot pink and ghetto and it's become a permanent part of our living room so don't judge us the next time you come over. Plus, Crosby (and probably my kids, too) would just pee on a new rug anyway so the pallet life is here to stay for now. 

• I would love to go shopping whenever I feel like it and have a date night out once a week and get my hair and nails done and have all the massages in the world and DJ keeps telling me that I can have all these things and more if I want them. I just need to go and get a job if so. But more than I want those things and the job that would allow me to buy them, I want to stay at home with my boys and raise them and educate them and disciple them and watch them grow up because it really does happen in the blink of an eye. It's a blessing to stay at home and I want to be more thankful for that than all the manicures money could buy. Except just kidding because if I went and got a job, I couldn't afford manicures because I would be paying for child care. Duh.

• More than all the promotions and all the money, late work nights, business trips, and increased hours that comes with them, I praise God for my husband who has willingly put a cap on how high of a position he will take in this season because he values being at home with our family and wants to spend the little bit of time he has with our boys before its time to tuck them in at night. Also, I am so thankful for his heart that has found so much joy and fulfillment in ministry and non-profits even when the corporate world clearly has so much more to offer. He's choosing to make big career sacrifices in this season and that is something I don't want to change for the world.

• It'd be really great to have new furniture, but more than that I don't want snot and pee and flattened cushions that inevitably happens when living with children and I am striving hard to just embrace the older, perfectly fine, decently cute, and comfortable deep cushioned couches we already have. 

• I really wish I had chosen neutral paint colors for my house like everyone else has, but instead of re-painting the walls I am trying to be content with the color that we have. It might not be featured on Pinterest, but I want to remember that color is fun and breathes life into space and that it's okay for my home to look like me instead if like you, even if I secretly wished it was the other way around.

• I'd like to have a never ending supply of play money. When we were young marrieds, we each got about $200 spending money a month, but now that we are parents with two kids and live on a single income, we each get $30 which sounds laughable in comparison but has proven to be plenty. Really, when all I spend money on is books and the occasional dinner with friends, I'm pretty sure that the little I have is more than enough and I am grateful. For every season that God has stripped us down, He has proven that a little is all we really need. 

• Sometimes I feel pressure to sign my kids up for all the things but I don't know why when DJ and I don't even want to spend our time or money on those things right now. So instead, I will fight to be thankful for simple days where we get to stay in our PJ's until 4:00 and never feel rushed to be out the door by any certain point and have nobody's schedule to adhere to but our own. I know that the days of schedules and games and classes and places to be are one day coming and I'm not in any hurry to get there. 

• A pool! It would be really fun to have a pool in our backyard. But the reality is that we cannot afford a home with a pool so we've settled for the blow up kind. And it's ugly and embarrassing, but my kids don't notice or care and I'm trying not to either. Sometimes we put water in it. And sometimes, we just fill it with blankets and wrestle around instead. Just making the most of our money, ya'll.

• Oh, and I really really want a clean house. Before we had kids, I cleaned once a week and freaked out any time I saw footprints on our floor. But now? The house is picked up and it's the most I am willing to do in this season. Because if I mopped the floor, I would never let my kids play in the sprinklers or dig in the dirt because heaven forbid they drag those kind of footprints through the house and make my work be all in vain. I would also never let them eat because my lanta, crumbs galore. So instead, I choose not to mop and my house isn't spotless, but my kids are (hopefully) having fun and I have got to learn to be okay with that for now, even when a little bit of me really does die inside over every grain of sand or bread crumb on the floor. 

I could go on and on (and on) (and on) but I think I've made my point: Discontentment is a beast and contentment is a discipline that I am discovering is hard to obtain. But I am trying. Between fits of jealousy and late night tears and all the comparison that I battle in a day, I really am trying. And little by little, I am coming to appreciate this season, and all the simplicity and joy and pallets and white trash blow up pools that come with it.

Much love,
courtney