A Day In The Life Of A Hofmann

A while ago someone suggested that I write about what my days look like as a momma. And, I just haven't done it yet because I feel like that may be the most boring post in the history of the internet. However, I am a big nerd and I actually do like to hear about how other mommas structure their days, the things they do, and why they do them. I actually feel really helped, encouraged, and challenged by watching others who do it differently than me and it fills me with fresh ideas and perspectives when my own systems are running dry. And so, for the *mere chance* that you are actually interested in my day or are looking for ideas to spice up your own life, here is what a typical day in the Hofmann household looks like:

Oh wait, here's a super long caveat because so much of how we structure our day comes from a parenting philosophy that I love so much and want to tell you about. But can I first just say that I have found that I am way more traditional and structured and old school than I ever thought I would be?! It's like I don't even recognize myself as a mom. Stay at home with my kids? Schedule out my day? Desire to homeschool? Who am I? These are things I never considered or aspired to even as recently as just a few years ago. I have surprised myself (and probably DJ) with the things I delight in and desire as a mom. I might actually be living in the wrong century, because I feel a bit more pioneer dress and bonnet-y than modern day attire calls for. Except instead of pioneer dresses and bonnets, I meant sweat pants. Every day all day, ya'll.
 

The caveat continues. So before we had kids, we had the privilege of working at The Village Church in Flower Mound and were connected to the most amazing people and wonderful families. We literally got to sit back, observe, and learn from them for the better half of ten years and in doing so I noticed that I was drawn to a specific kind of family-- the kind where family members (parents and siblings alike) were genuinely close and seemed to have a mutual respect for and genuine enjoyment in one another. The kinds of families where the younger kids were surprisingly polite and respectful, were enjoyable to be around, and knew how to talk to adults without always being glued to technology. The kinds of families where the teenagers were all those things I just listed, as well as educated and informed, well acquainted with several trains of thought and ideas and viewpoints, and yet had a good head on their shoulders and were capable of (and even trusted with!) making wise decisions for themselves. The kind of families where the grown children possessed all of those qualities and more, and better yet, still had so much honor and respect for their parents. Like, could not wait for the holidays so that they could be reunited with their parents and brothers and sisters because they still just loved and respected them that much. Seriously, what beautiful families we got to witness. So when I became a new mom and was struggling and crying and discouraged as I tried to parent a TWO YEAR OLD WHO DID NOT SPEAK MY LANGUAGE, I reached out to these families because I felt like they were onto some sort of awesome secret that I really wanted in on. None of these families knew each other, but with every single one of them there was a common denominator: Child Wise. In each instance was a God fearing family who had read and implemented the very practical parenting tips that Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam write about in their books. And so, I got the books because these are families that I loved and respected and hoped for my family to one day look even just a sliver like. We aren't there yet, but we are trying and aspiring.

I say all of this to justify the totally dorky idea of structuring out your day, because that might just sound like a nerd alert. But it is one of the many Child Wise suggestions that I have implemented into our family life. At first, I thought the idea sounded ridiculous. The first time I read about it, I was on the plane to Korea as we flew to pick up Moses, and I envisioned myself sitting down and writing out my day in thirty minute segments which felt totally nerdy and overwhelming. So, I laughed and tossed that idea aside and started implementing many of the other Child Wise suggestions I read about. But in time, I saw that my day pretty much structured itself whether it was written down or not. As I implemented the other practices described in these books, my day naturally fell into a rhythm that we enjoyed and thrived off of. I need structure to keep my sanity and my kids need structure because they are kids and kids do well with routine. Child Wise principles have manifested themselves all throughout our day, and I am sane and functioning better because of it. It's not the only way, but it is a way that I have found to enjoy more than I ever thought I would.

Let it be said that we aren't sticklers, though. We change things up and feel the freedom to be spontaneous and go do fun things and make plans with people when we want to. But for the most part, I truly enjoy a lot of time at home and try to have a few days a week where we don't do much besides just be together. So without further ado, the days that we do stick to the house pretty much look like this:

• 6:00 am. This is my sacred me time. I wake up and have time to myself which generally includes working out or reading, making coffee, and spending time with the Lord. Moses has a light in his room that is set to go off at 7:45. No matter what time he wakes up, he knows that he needs to stay in his room and play quietly until his light goes off. And Jones? Well he's pretty much trapped in his crib until I come to get him. Mwuhahahaha. Except really, all praise be to God for making him to be a boy who is happy to just lay quietly and talk to himself in bed, so he too hangs out until 7:45 when Moses' light goes off and he comes bounding out of his room. I'm telling you... no one wants me to be their mom before 7:45. No one. It ain't pretty.

• 7:45 am. Us Hofmanns love our slow mornings. We don't do anything early and seem to be way behind the schedules of all other families with small kids. At 7:45, me and Moses saunter into Jones' room and hang out for a bit. A) Because Jones' room is the most peaceful room in the house. The soft gray walls and morning light make it one of my happiest places. And B) because the boys are contained in a small place and it gives me even more time to slowly settle into the day. The boys have the time of their lives wrestling over a giant stuffed animal, reading books, or sliding off a chair while I look upon them with sheer delight or perhaps annoyance, depending on what is happening and what moods are present at the time. 

 

• Breakfast at our casa is usually around 9:00. While I cook, Moses plays freely with whatever toys suit his fancy and Jones plays quietly on a blanket in the kitchen while I cook. I put out a few toys of my own choice and he sits and plays until it's time to eat. This is another Child Wise principle that I thought seemed ridiculously hard and overwhelming and weird, but have actually enjoyed. I appreciate that it teaches Jones contentment to play with whatever is put before him and it has been a good lesson in teaching obedience and boundaries. My hope in implementing it at home is that it will be good training grounds for when we are out in public at parks or doctors offices and the likes. I have seen small glimpses of fruit here, but don't be deceived. Some days he does awesome and stays on the blanket the entire time with ease, and other days it's like a mad house and requires constant reminders to stay on his blanket until I say that he is done. Let's just say that training is not for the faint of heart.

• The boys play while I do the dishes and then we set aside some time to read. It is by far one of my favorite things to do with the boys and we try to do a lot of it. I'll barricade Jones into the living room and we'll sit and read for as long as we can. Moses could sit and be read to for hours on end, but with Jones around, we're good if we can get in a solid 30 minutes or so. All three of us learn and grow so much from this time together and I hope it will always be a part of our day. Like my best friend Jamie Ivey says, readers are leaders... right?! This picture is old but it remains an all time favorite:

• Jones is starting to drop a nap, but I still put him down late morning, maybe around 11 or so. This is special Momma/Moses time (as we call it) and it's a time that I try to be more intentional. A lot of times we do "school work" and Moses will work on reading, writing, cutting, or coloring, or sometimes we have a coffee date (his being hot chocolate) and play a game together. Other times he will play outside while I read or answer emails on the porch.  The point is for it to be low key and intentional when possible. 

• We eat a late lunch; usually around 1 or so. Nothing special or noteworthy here. Just lots of messes and cuteness. 

• In the afternoon, the boys usually have time to freely play. Most times we just stick around the house because quite honestly, loading everyone up to go to the park is kind of a beat down to me. The boys are happy to vroom their trucks on the floor FOR LITERALLY HOURS, or they will play in the yard and we all kind of just do our own thing. 

 

• Usually around 3:00 we do Room Time which is another Child Wise strategy that I LOVE. Let's be honest, I am a better mom when I get significant time to myself which is why I refuse to parent before 7:45 and require some downtime in the afternoon. I put Jones down for a nap and he will either sleep or talk happily to himself in his crib. Moses usually spends this time listening to an audio book, reading books on his bed, or playing quietly with dinosaurs or trucks. Don't be deceived; he is not always so angelic. The other day we discovered that he spent Room Time unscrewing the light bulbs from his lamps and smashing them together leaving shards of glass all over his carpet and bed sheets. Sometimes he climbs on his headboard and picks the popcorn off the ceiling or climbs on his bookshelf or to the tip top of his closet. And, oh yeah, there are the countless times that I have to go upstairs and ask him to play quietly like a mouse because without any exaggeration at all whatsoever, it honestly can sound like 25 elephants are stomping around in his room because there is nothing at all about Moses that is quiet. As for me, I usually spend this time showering (because I literally wait until the end of the day to shower and fix my hair and put on make up and feel pretty for DJ only to be cute for the first ten minutes that he is home, at which point he changes out of his suit and puts on sweatpants, and if he is in sweatpants then I should be in sweatpants so back into sweatpants I go!). Then I drink my afternoon cup and read or text my girlfriends, anything for some sacred downtime. 

• Room Time ends around 4:00 and we usually play freely and hang out until 5:00 at which point Jones plays in his Pack-N-Play and Moses does an activity of my choosing at the table while I cook dinner. Depending on the day, his level of exhaustion, and his mood, Moses will either read some sentences that I write out for him, practice writing his letters, color, play with kinetic sand (this is by far the best thing ever invented for boys besides nature), build with legos, or sometimes just cry in his room because it is the Witching Hour after all and some days he can just be too tired to function at this point in the day. 

• We eat dinner around 6:00/6:30, and have been trying to eat on our back porch as much as we can before it gets too hot. DJ built a pergola and hung lights and it's just the best way for our family to slow down together in the evenings and it is just my favorite. DJ does the dishes every night because he is a servant and then we start the bedtime routine. For the most part this always looks like reading a story, singing a hymn, and praying, though we will do more intentional family devotionals at various seasons throughout the year. We are currently doing an Easter family devo each night before bed and it is a sweet time for Moses to stay up a little late with us before heading to bed. Each night ends with a sweet "Ni-Ni" from Jones and a World Famous Mosey Hug from Moses. I love them so much, but bedtime is always such a sweet relief because a momma's work is hard work, no joke.

• The boys are usually in bed by 7:30 and then we get to hang out just us! By ourselves! Like the old times before kids! We watch TV or have a drink on the patio or play games or talk and it is just some of my most favorite time spent. But the time always goes too quickly as I have to go to bed by 11:00 if I want to function or be a good mom (or any kind of mom, really) the next day.

So there you have it. That is roughly what our days look like when we are home. I love it because it allows for order and peace and helps me to feel in control even despite having two boys who can be loud and emotional and hyper and rowdy and just plain boy. The weekends are more low key and schedules can more easily go out the window because Daddy is home and Daddy is fun and Moses gets more TV time and we drink coffee on the couch all the live long day and it is just easier and the kind of Sabbath rest that I look forward to all week. The weekends are my favorite and every day should be one.

What about you? What do your days look like? I'm really asking here.

Much love,
courtney