Advent starts on Sunday and I could not be more excited about the holiday season. All of it. Decorating the tree while listening to Folk Angel. Hot chocolate and Christmas lights and long drives. Home Alone and Elf and Die Hard. And woven through it all, teaching our boy the tradition of Advent as we gather together each night to celebrate who Jesus is and the beauty of His name.
Before Moses came home, I began looking through family Advent studies and just couldn't find one that matched what I was looking for. I wanted one that focused on the names of Jesus while at the same time had simple activities to keep my little one engaged and involved. I looked and found some things but never quite what I was looking for. Some focused solely on the names of Jesus while others focused solely on events and activities. Some required my money and my mad Pinterest skills, neither of which I felt excited about or capable of. And so, I decided to just come up with my own. That first year though? Moses didn't speak English so we didn't do anything more than settle into our new life as a family of three and pour our hearts and souls into helping our little one adjust. Then the next year happened. I planned our little study and hung it in Moses' room and we started off strong. But then Jones was born, I thought I was dying from some still unidentified illness, and I had to ship Moses off to my mom's for days on end while I recovered and cared for our newborn. So, it didn't happen again and the Advent chain hung in Moses' room until just 5 days ago when I finally took it down. But this year? This year I am determined and ready to celebrate Advent with my people.
Before I say more... two little shout outs. Funnily enough, this year an Advent study did come out that is
right along the lines of what I was looking for all along. Like, almost
identical. It's called Sacred Holidays and their little gem of a study
focuses on the attributes of God for the entire month leading up to
Christmas. It's simple, intentional, and fun and full of great devotions
for your family. I actually contributed to their study this year and think the work they are doing is great. Unfortunately, the Family Study is already sold out
this year, but be sure to check them out next Christmas. And second, 100 Days With Jesus over on Instagram. They study the names of Jesus for the 100 days leading up to Christmas and their feed greatly inspired my own little amateur endeavor. Both of these studies are great and should be considered if you are looking for ways to celebrate Advent with your family!
Below is my own little homemade version of the things I wanted to teach Moses about Jesus this Christmas season. Though it is written with my family in mind (and therefore includes some resources that we own and outings to places we live near), I wanted to post it just in case you other mommas out there are looking for something similar. What's mine is yours so feel free to take it and tweak it and adapt it for your family.
Here you go:
Sunday, November 27 | Baby | Talk about babies…What are babies like? What is Jones like? Talk about how amazing it was that God came to earth as a baby; that the Savior of the whole world left His glorious throne in Heaven to be born into a broken world among animals in a barn. Then read Luke 2:8-14 and act out the story using the Little People Nativity Scene.
Monday, November 28 | Immanuel | Read Matthew 1:23. Talk about the significance of names. Donald means “World Ruler”. Courtney means “Short Nose”. Moses means “Drawn Out”. Jones means “God is Gracious.” Talk about why we chose such significant names for our boys and then talk about how Immanuel is a name that was used to describe Jesus. It means “God with us”. Talk about how Jesus came to live with and among people and how He is always with us.
Tuesday, November 29 | Carpenter | Read Mark 6:1-6. Let Moses hammer some nails into a block of wood. Talk about how Jesus was fully God, but also fully man. He was a man just like daddy. He had a job and his job was a carpenter. He built and fixed things. Talk about how it was hard for Jesus’ family and friends to recognize Him as God because they only thought of Him as an ordinary man.
Wednesday, November 30 | Healer | Read Matthew 8:14-17. Talk about how Jesus healed Peter’s mother-in-law. Talk about how Jesus has healed Moses’ itchy skin. Talk about how just like our physical bodies get sick and hurt and need to be healed, so too are our hearts sick with sin. Talk about how Jesus is the only one who can heal our sinful hearts.
Thursday, December 1 | Almighty God | God is Almighty- nothing is too hard for Him. Have DJ and Moses do a couple of strength games: arm wrestling, wrestling match, lifting contest, etc. Talk about how strong DJ is compared to Moses and then talk about how much stronger God is. He is the strongest one. Nothing is too hard for Him. Read Isaiah 59:1 (NLT) and talk about how the Lord is strong enough to save us.
Friday, December 2 | Servant | Read Philippians 2:7. Talk about what a servant is. Talk about how Jesus was both a servant and a King. Read The Servant and The King on page 286 in The Jesus Storybook Bible and then discuss ways that we can serve like Jesus.
Saturday, December 3 | Deliverer | Read Galatians 1:3-5. Deliverer means one that saves from danger or destruction. Firemen deliver people from fires. Policemen deliver people from bad guys. Doctors deliver people from sickness. Talk about how we are all in danger of death and eternal separation from God, but that Jesus died to deliver us!
Sunday, December 4 | Friend | Talk about friendship. Who are our best friends? Why do we like them? How do we spend time with them? The Bible says that God is our friend too. Read Exodus 33:11 and talk about how we can be friends with God. He wants to walk with us and talk with us and spend time with us. Read Friend of Sinners in Thoughts To Make Your Heart sing and/or John 15:13 to see the different ways that Jesus modeled friendship for us.
Monday, December 5 | Advocate | An advocate is someone who pleads on behalf of another. Show Moses pictures of when we went to court. He did not have to appear before a judge to ask for a family, because we did it for him! We went to the judge and advocated on his behalf; we fought to bring him into our family! Satan accuses us of our sin, but we do not have to appear before God because Jesus has already gone before us. Jesus advocated to the Father on our behalf and fought to bring us into His family.
Tuesday, December 6 | Indescribable Gift | Talk about all the presents Moses got for his birthday today. Have him describe his presents; what they are like and what he enjoys about them. Then read 2 Corinthians 9:15 and talk about how Jesus is the very best gift. He is so good that there are not enough words to fully describe Him!
Wednesday, December 7 | King of Kings | Talk about how a King is someone who is in charge of a whole country. Use the examples of Daddy being in charge of our family; a teacher being in charge of a class, and the President being in charge of our country. Some countries do not have Presidents, but kings who rule all the people who live there. Jesus is the King of Kings! He is in charge of every other king and of the whole world. He deserves our honor, respect, love, trust, and obedience. Read The King of all Kings on page 192 in the Jesus Storybook Bible and act it out with the Little People Nativity Scene.
Thursday, December 8 | Nazarene | Read Matthew 2:23. Look at the map and talk about where we are from. Just like Moses is Korean because he is from Korea, Jesus is called a Nazarene because he was from Nazareth. Point out Nazareth on the map and talk about what it is like there. Look at pictures online and eat pita bread and hummus as a snack.
Friday, December 9 | Light of the World | Go look at Christmas lights. Discuss John 8:12. Talk about light- how it lights up the darkness and helps us to see. Jesus is the light. He lights up the darkness of our sinful, broken world and helps us to see the Truth.
Saturday, December 10 | Everlasting God | Read Isaiah 9:6 and talk about what the word Everlasting means. Read Matthew 6:19-24 and talk about how nothing here on earth will last forever, but that Jesus alone is everlasting. Read God is Forever.
Sunday, December 11 | Living Water | Have a club soda date and watch Episode 3: The Water on Owlegories. Read John 4:7-14. Talk about how just like we cannot live without water and how it satisfies our thirst, so too can we not live without Jesus. He completely satisfies all our desires and needs!
Monday, December 12 | Bread of Life | Bring home hot chocolate and pumpkin bread from Starbucks and watch The Bread on Owlegories together as a family. Read John 6:35. Just like our physical bodies need bread (food) to live and be healthy and strong, so too do our spiritual hearts need Jesus to live. We eat food every day to survive; we should spend time with Jesus each day too! Talk about different ways that we can spend time with Jesus throughout the day.
Tuesday, December 13 | Savior | Recap what it means that Jesus is a Deliverer and talk about how a Savior is similar; Jesus saves, or rescues, us from our sin. Talk about what sin is and why we need to be saved from it. Talk about how loving, trusting and believing in Jesus’ death and resurrection is the only way we can be saved from our sin.
Wednesday, December 14 | Intercessor | Talk about prayer; what it is, the people and things we pray for, and why we pray. Read Romans 8:34 and talk about how Jesus prays for us too!
Thursday, December 15 | Sovereign | Point out Sovereign on The Attributes Of God Poster. Talk about how God is in charge of everything and how He uses all things, even the bad things, for our good. Talk about different ways we have seen God’s sovereignty in our lives.
Friday, December 16 | Creator | Go to Holidays at the Heard. Afterwards, talk about the dinosaurs and all the things we saw on the nature trail. Read Colossians 1:16-17 and talk about how God is the creator of all things.
Saturday, December 17 | Sinless | Read 2 Corinthians 5:21. Talk about how Jesus was sinless; he was never disrespectful, never unkind, never angry for the wrong reasons. Never, not even once! Think about what it must have been like to be around Jesus who knew no sin. Talk about the great exchange and how Jesus exchanged his sinless life for our sinful ones.
Sunday, December 18 | Rock | Talk about the differences between a big rock and sand. Then read The Wise and Foolish Builders on page 191 in The Gospel Story Bible. Jesus is our support, our foundation and our refuge; talk about how we can build our lives on Him.
Monday, December 19 | Prince of Peace | Read John 14:7. Talk about what it means to be at peace. Testify to times that Lord has given us His peace that surpasses all understanding.
Tuesday, December 20 | Comforter | Read John 14:16. Talk about the things that comfort us and how Jesus is the one true Comforter. Read Comforter on page 142 of Thoughts To Make Your Heart Sing.
Wednesday, December 21 | Man of Sorrows | Read Isaiah 53:3. Talk about what it means that Jesus was a man of sorrows and why he was well acquatinted with sadness and grief. He knows what it means when we feel disappointed and sad. He understands when we feel that way and He can comfort us in our sorrow.
Thursday, December 22 | Consuming Fire | Turn on the fireplace and read Hebrews 12:29. Talk about times God appeared as a fire in scripture (Moses & the burning bush, leading the Israelites by a pillar of fire, etc). Watch The Fire on Owlegories.
Friday, December 23 | Exact Representation | Read Hebrews 1:1-3. Talk about how God the Father is a spirit; we can not see Him but we can look to Jesus to know what He is like. Jesus is all of God poured into flesh. He is the exact and perfect representation of who God is.
Saturday, December 24 | Gentle | Read Matthew 11:29. Talk about what it means that Jesus is gentle. Talk about times that Momma and Daddy have been gentle, and times that we have fallen short. Talk about how Jesus is perfectly gentle with us all of the time. He is strong but never rough. He is in charge, but never mean. He tells the truth, but is never ugly about it. He is kind and never harsh.
Sunday, December 25 | JESUS’ BIRTHDAY!
Much love and happy Adventing,
courtney
Friday, November 25, 2016
Wednesday, October 5, 2016
The Good Things In Life
Just a little post about some of the things that have brought me joy as of late....
Unemployment. Yes, I am being serious and no, I am not joking. I am sure that all six of you who read this little blog know that DJ was laid off in August. Let's be honest, the whole things was really all my fault. About a week earlier I had casually mentioned to DJ that it had been a really long time since we had been in a season where we really needed to trust in God; I was missing the nearness and peace and deepened trust that He brings in those seasons. Enter unemployment....You're welcome, DJ. But honestly, this season has been so good and so sweet. I truly believe that the Lord was preparing us for it and He gave us the peace and trust we needed to not only accept the news, but to meet it with excitement. Don't get me wrong; there are days of anxiety and fear and today happens to be one of them. But for the most part, we have looked back with gratitude on all the ways the Lord grew DJ in his last role, have found peace in who He is and what He promises in the unknown, and are looking ahead with excitement to see where He brings us next. The job search started off strong. DJ had three solid leads and received two job offers, both of which we decided to decline because they just weren't the right fits for our family in this season. Early on DJ had wondered if we would grow in trust and faith not because he was laid off, but because we would intentionally prolong unemployment and decline job offers all in blind faith that those weren't the things God had for us. And it is precisely there that we find ourselves. No leads this week. No interviews set up. Total uncertainty of what lies ahead. And yet, it is only because of the Lord that we can be in this season with such joy. In fact, I have a little too much of it. I am loving having DJ home. His presence here is just adored by all of us. Morning coffee dates? Built in help around the house all throughout the week? Father/Son dates? Naps for mom?! Yes please. Keep it coming. You know how when you were a kid, your parents would up your bedtime the week before school started to get you used to the school schedule? I swear I am going to have to kick DJ out of the house before he even gets a job so that I can get used to him being gone again. Otherwise I think his absence when he goes back to work will be a devastating blow. I just love him so much. Like, this much:
Unemployment. Yes, I am being serious and no, I am not joking. I am sure that all six of you who read this little blog know that DJ was laid off in August. Let's be honest, the whole things was really all my fault. About a week earlier I had casually mentioned to DJ that it had been a really long time since we had been in a season where we really needed to trust in God; I was missing the nearness and peace and deepened trust that He brings in those seasons. Enter unemployment....You're welcome, DJ. But honestly, this season has been so good and so sweet. I truly believe that the Lord was preparing us for it and He gave us the peace and trust we needed to not only accept the news, but to meet it with excitement. Don't get me wrong; there are days of anxiety and fear and today happens to be one of them. But for the most part, we have looked back with gratitude on all the ways the Lord grew DJ in his last role, have found peace in who He is and what He promises in the unknown, and are looking ahead with excitement to see where He brings us next. The job search started off strong. DJ had three solid leads and received two job offers, both of which we decided to decline because they just weren't the right fits for our family in this season. Early on DJ had wondered if we would grow in trust and faith not because he was laid off, but because we would intentionally prolong unemployment and decline job offers all in blind faith that those weren't the things God had for us. And it is precisely there that we find ourselves. No leads this week. No interviews set up. Total uncertainty of what lies ahead. And yet, it is only because of the Lord that we can be in this season with such joy. In fact, I have a little too much of it. I am loving having DJ home. His presence here is just adored by all of us. Morning coffee dates? Built in help around the house all throughout the week? Father/Son dates? Naps for mom?! Yes please. Keep it coming. You know how when you were a kid, your parents would up your bedtime the week before school started to get you used to the school schedule? I swear I am going to have to kick DJ out of the house before he even gets a job so that I can get used to him being gone again. Otherwise I think his absence when he goes back to work will be a devastating blow. I just love him so much. Like, this much:
Fried Plantains. I love plantains. I have tried to make them several times in the past couple of years and I fail every time. Like burn them so bad they taste like rubber kind of fail. DJ's words, not mine. I don't know what the deal was, but I just could never get them right. But, guys! I tried again the other day and they were perfection. Here's what I did. I just put a fourth a cup of oil in the bottom of a skillet, stirred in some brown sugar, cut the plantains into one inch slices and sauteed them for just a few quick minutes on each side. Do it now. You won't regret it.
Hulu. I know, right? Where have we been the last lot of years? For the entirely of our marriage, me and DJ have binged watched shows on Netflix (except for Lost, which we watched on actual TV and was a total waste of my life). We've never had cable and we never wanted Hulu; why watch shows week to week when you can binge watch seasons at a time on Netflix?! Binge watching is a bit of a double edged sword though. Watching shows and movies is one our favorite things to do together, but it can also be a little bit of a time sucker and excuse for mindlessness when it comes to marriage, especially when you have littles and are flat out exhausted at the end of the day. And so, as of last week, I now love Hulu. We decided to do away with binge watching and just pick two shows to watch this season. Obviously we went with This Is Us and Designated Survivor... umm, hello, both are awesome. This means that instead of binging every night, we just have two nights a week that our shows come on and we can only watch one episode at a time. Ya'll, it feels like we are in the nineties again and I am a little bit loving the simplicity of it.
The First Fifteen. Have you guys heard of this?! It's a little bible study that I have grown to adore. You can subscribe here and a daily bible study will arrive in your inbox early each morning. It is short and sweet but full of deep truth. My favorite thing about it? It reminds me of God's personal love for me, Courtney, as an individual. The past five years of my faith have been more focused on God's love for and work among and use of the church body as a whole; how we were built for and thrive in community, how we are called to do life with and worship alongside the body of believers, how life with and among the church family is one of the primary ways that we mature in our faith and expand the people of God. Yes and amen to all of that. Those things are so very good and true. But I think that somewhere in all my exposure to that, I lost sight of the fact that God loves me. Like, me. All by myself. Courtney. He sees me, knows me, is mindful of me, and delights in me. How incredible is that? I just forgot. The First Fifteen has really helped me to remember and rest in God's intimate and personal love for me as his child. Incredible.
Waking up early. For the past few months I have started waking up at 6:00am and it has been such the best thing. I heard someone on The Happy Hour mention that the best advice they had ever received was to wake up for their kids instead of waking up to their kids. This is now the best advice I have ever received. Let's be honest... When the kids wake me up in the morning, it is just not a good day. It starts off on the wrong foot and I have a hard time bouncing back. But when I wake up at 6:00, I have time to work out, check email, drink my coffee and read my bible, and flat out do my own thing before they come bounding out of their rooms at 7:45 and let me just tell you, this "me time" is awesome. I love sleep, but sacrificing it to have some time alone without my little people is what I need to love them better throughout the day. Bring on the early mornings. I am loving it.
Kidless dinners! Okay, we actually just started this last night, but it was pretty great. So great that we are going to start doing it once a month. We put the kids down early, and then made dinner and ate it without them. By ourselves! Just the two of us! We made our favorite Indian dish (and yours too, I promise, go make it tonight) and watched Meet The Patels (super cute documentary) and all of it was just glorious. Especially the part about cooking in the kitchen with a glass of wine and jazz music and zero little people or toys or bikes in the kitchen for me to trip over. Glorious, I tell you.
And there you have it... some happy little things from me to you. What little things have you been loving lately?
Friday, September 23, 2016
Mom Thoughts On The Internet | Part Deuce
Last month I wrote about some of my thoughts, questions and concerns on the internet, it's influence over my life, and it's affect on my parenting. News flash: I have not arrived. Will I ever? The internet is here to stay and I will always be sanctifying in my momness; surely there is fluidity here. I am still thinking through all the same things and modifying my use of technology, some days better than others. But it's been a month since I last wrote and I think that is a considerable amount of time to both adhere to and reflect on the boundaries I made. And so, here are some thoughts I have one month into my new internet norm:
I still really want to have open dialogue about this. I want to know what boundaries other people have on their phones, what tech rules they have for themselves and their kids. How do you protect against technology in your home, and how do you celebrate and embrace it? What thoughts do other people give to posting pictures and details about their kids online and what determines if and when you do or do not share? Just some thoughts I have... it's a running conversation in my head so I'm happy to talk through it at any time.
Some fun resources for thought:
courtney
- I've kept my phone on me a lot less and I can feel a difference. I keep the phone on the counter, or sometimes in my room, and have been able to go hours without needing or even wanting it. My family has noticed too and I felt a sense of pride when Moses asked if I could look up something for him "later", proof that he had grown accustomed to me not having my phone on me and able to look things up at a moments notice.
- I've been trying to use my phone for just phone things, so that my kids don't question what I am doing on my phone all the time. This means I have been looking up recipes in magazines instead of on Pinterest and making a grocery list on paper instead of in Notes. Throw back! It means that when I want to know what the weather is, I step outside and feel it myself, and it means I try to discern what is worth knowing before I spend time looking it up. It's not as convenient as using my phone for every literal thing, but it has been nice and it has been simple.
- There is so much time in a day! Without my phone constantly on me, I have been more able to slow down and enjoy the moment. We have spent lots of time laying on the floor as a family, the kids crawling over and playing with and on us, and have enjoyed the quiet, simple, tech free moments. And, there has been so much time for snuggling! Me and DJ have always done Family Cuddle Time, even before kids, and it's become a tradition the four of us now share... but I have noticed a significant increase in the amount of snuggles around here and that is something I hope we always make more and more time for. There can never be enough snuggles or snickles (snuggle.tickles) in our home.
- On the down side, I don't have my phone with me to capture every moment I want to remember. My kids just do all the cute things and I want to capture every one of them, and not having my phone on me basically means I can't. So, I've tried to slow down and just savor the moments, hoping they sear into my mind forever. Me and Moses have even pulled a few Jim and Pam's, taking mental pictures instead of digital ones:
- I've tried to find a healthy balance of what to share and when. The days between August and November are super special in my family, full of significant adoption milestones and memories of our first encounters with our son. Part of me wants to blast those pictures and stories for the world to share, and honestly, there's nothing wrong with that. I want to find the balance of sharing our journey, boasting in and educating others in the gift that is adoption, and rejoicing in all that the Lord has done. But at the same time, I want to honor my son's story and keep some of those things as sacred and special and just for us. It's a hard tension and I think I will just discern what to share and when on an individual basis as those days and anniversaries arise. Last year I shared, this year I haven't... and maybe next year I will again. But this time around, I tried to just relish those things with just my husband and my son and instead of telling Instagram, I picked up the phone and called a friend to say, "Hey! Two years ago today I met Moses for the first time!" There is something about rejoicing with a friend that just goes a lot further than a hundred likes.
- It takes me longer to respond to texts, but then again, I am not getting as many. It turns out, when you aren't on your phone as much, there's less to respond to and do. I'm also just trying to work on email and respond to the texts that I didn't get to during the day either after the kids are in bed or before they wake up. So, I apologize in advance if you get a text from me at 11:00pm or 6:30 am. My kids might not be suffering from my phone time, but you sure as heck are.
- I still don't know how I feel about posting my kids pictures. Am I putting them at danger or risk? Honest confession: I like to brag on them so I do it anyway. I mean, really... how cute are they?!
I still really want to have open dialogue about this. I want to know what boundaries other people have on their phones, what tech rules they have for themselves and their kids. How do you protect against technology in your home, and how do you celebrate and embrace it? What thoughts do other people give to posting pictures and details about their kids online and what determines if and when you do or do not share? Just some thoughts I have... it's a running conversation in my head so I'm happy to talk through it at any time.
Some fun resources for thought:
- Chapter 4 from 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker
- The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships In The Digital Age by Catherine Steiner-Adair
courtney
Friday, August 19, 2016
Mom Thoughts On The Internet
I'm thinking out loud here. This post is not pointing fingers and it's not based on anything that other people do. It's my own introspection on the things I've been wrestling through as of late. And, I hope it will invite dialogue as well. I would love to know other people's thoughts and how they have navigated through these very things. Seriously.
That being said, I think a lot about the internet and technology. This is probably because on some level I think I am addicted to it- to always being connected, to not wanting to miss out on updates, to always having something to do or respond to online, to getting to check out and do something mindless, etc. It's all so wonderful, isn't it? And let's not forget the fact that I literally feel naked and panicky when I don't have my phone on me. I know that I'm not alone; is this not how the majority of our society functions? But my own struggles with technology feel unhealthy to me and I am constantly trying to evaluate how to use it well... especially in regards to my parenting.
I am the first to admit that I am a total mom on the internet. Ninety-nine percent of my posts are about my kids: a) because I love them. b) because ninety-nine percent of my time is spent with them, so what else am I going to post about? and c) because I am biased and just think they are too dang cute not to gush over. But I've really been thinking about this lately... my compulsive need to share so much about my kids on the WORLD WIDE WEB. It's called World Wide for a reason, and yet here I am so quick to throw their faces and names and lives around on it. I have legitimate questions and I would love to know your thoughts on them. Do you struggle with this too? Do you consider these things before you post? What barriers do you have up to protect your children? Please feel free to comment; I legitimately want to know.
xoxo,
courtney
That being said, I think a lot about the internet and technology. This is probably because on some level I think I am addicted to it- to always being connected, to not wanting to miss out on updates, to always having something to do or respond to online, to getting to check out and do something mindless, etc. It's all so wonderful, isn't it? And let's not forget the fact that I literally feel naked and panicky when I don't have my phone on me. I know that I'm not alone; is this not how the majority of our society functions? But my own struggles with technology feel unhealthy to me and I am constantly trying to evaluate how to use it well... especially in regards to my parenting.
I am the first to admit that I am a total mom on the internet. Ninety-nine percent of my posts are about my kids: a) because I love them. b) because ninety-nine percent of my time is spent with them, so what else am I going to post about? and c) because I am biased and just think they are too dang cute not to gush over. But I've really been thinking about this lately... my compulsive need to share so much about my kids on the WORLD WIDE WEB. It's called World Wide for a reason, and yet here I am so quick to throw their faces and names and lives around on it. I have legitimate questions and I would love to know your thoughts on them. Do you struggle with this too? Do you consider these things before you post? What barriers do you have up to protect your children? Please feel free to comment; I legitimately want to know.
- Why do I feel the need to share every important date, milestone, and sweet moment? Is it not enough for me to cherish those moments alone? For example: a few months ago was the one year anniversary of finding out we were pregnant with Jones. And I posted about it. And then, I gave it some thought and took it down... because I didn't want to unintentionally hurt those struggling to conceive and also because why do other people need to know that? Is it not enough for me to relish that memory alone? Or with my husband? And yet, I struggle to want to compulsively share so much. What is that?!
- What will Moses and Jones think about their entire lives being documented and shared online for all the world to see? Am I invading their privacy? Will they feel hurt or embarrassed by anything I have shared? Am I creating or portraying an online identity for them that is not true to form? Will they even care or will their generation be more narcissistic than our own?
- Have I really considered the implications of what it means that "what goes on the internet stays on the internet"? The things we write, share, text, vox and post literally never go away. They may be deleted on the surface, but they aren't gone for good. Am I putting my child at danger? What wicked and evil things might I be fueling by putting their pictures out there for just anyone to see? Even knowing that I try to protect the intimate and personal details of their lives, is it fair to them that I am posting on their behalf, especially knowing that what I say can't ever really be undone?
- And honestly, what would I post about if not my kids? They are the majority of my life in this season. I am literally with them all the time. I try to avoid giving political rants and opinions online, date nights are slim these days, and I've outgrown selfies. What else is there to post about if not my kids? Would I be okay to pretty much diminish my online presence if I didn't post about them?!
- How do I stay connected without becoming consumed? For every text I sent to check in on a friend comes a response that beckons my attention and reply. It is a constant cycle. The answer shouldn't be to not check in with my friends-- they can be a lifeline for me. But how do I do it without being caught up in a digital conversation that could last all day?
- How do my kids differentiate between mindless play and legitimate use of my phone? I might be making a grocery list, but for all they know Mom is plugged in and disengaged. One thing I aim to do is not to read my bible on my phone. I want my kids to see and value the Word of God so I try to read from the actual book in front of them so they know without a doubt what it is that I am reading and can distinguish it from the ambiguity of my phone. (I honestly wonder if this will even matter to them, growing up in a world where they themselves will likely only ever read the bible on their phones, but, I digress...). Should that logic apply elsewhere? Should I get a paper calendar? Write out my grocery list? Purchase a newspaper? Use a real camera?
- Why do I feel the need to always check everything? And to look everything up? There used to be a day when I was okay to not remember that actresses name or to not have every questioned answered, but no longer. I take full advantage of all the information at my fingertips but what is really the point? Do I actually need to know all the crap that I spend time looking up?
- What am I communicating to my boys when I am on my phone in front of them? I know that when I am online I am more impatient, irritable, distracted, rushed and tied up all while being less present and engaged than I ever want to be. Am I communicating that my phone is more important than them? Do they feel like they come second? Will they one day think I am a hypocrite for so heavily protecting their use of technology while I am so tied up in my own?
- What does it look like for me to restrict and limit their technology without totally cutting them off from the world that they live in? Technology is not going away. It will be what they grow up with, how they function, and what they know. So how do I help him know how to engage and navigate that world without it becoming their everything?
- Leave my phone on the counter at home. Turn the ringer on so I can hear if someone needs me.
- No phone at the dinner table or at restaurants or on date night. Keep it in my purse (read: toddler backpack). Only answer if I have to.
- No playing on the phone when I am with family or friends.
- Only get on Facebook/Instagram when I have something to post.
- Think before I respond to each text. Is this pressing or can it wait?
- No texting about important issues---- if I need to apologize to someone, I need to do it in person.
- Don't play on the phone before bed or when I wake up if DJ is also awake. Spend that time with my husband. Am I really choosing my phone over that hunka burnin' love?!
- Take pictures in the moment.... but upload, edit and post them later when I am alone.
- Ask myself if I need to know that, do that, or look that up right now. If not, it can wait.
- Check and respond to email before the boys wake up and after they go to bed. They are my primary job; email can wait.
- Don't text and drive. I am the worst at this. Seriously though, my cargo is precious and the phone can wait.
xoxo,
courtney
Monday, July 25, 2016
Forty Before Forty
I haven't forgotten about this blog. It really is something I'd like to get back into. I'm just trying to figure out my voice in the sea of mom blogs and political upheaval and self promotion and a trillion opinions. Oh, yea. And I need time too. Time to think and time to write and that little hot commodity is quite hard to come by these days.
In the meantime, though... you know those Forty before 40 lists? I made one. Because I like goals and lists and crossing goals off of lists so this is pretty much my happy place. And just in case anyone cares about the not too lofty and perfectly attainable goals I hope to reach before I hit middle age, I thought I'd grace you with my list.
And so, here it is. Before I turn 40, I hope to....
1. Always be reading a book. I started this year and it has been so good for my brain.
2. Take a big trip for our 10 year anniversary. It's next year. TEN YEARS. I feel like such a grown up.
3. Grow our family. Both by birth and through adoption. I pretty much want all the babies.
4. Mentor and be mentored. Any takers?
5. Start my own business. I have three ideas up my sleeve... I just need to go for it. I think I also need money to do this, but I'll just cross that bridge when I get there.
6. Get my nose pierced. Again. Because you're only young once and I'm running out of time.
7. Chop off my hair. Let's be honest, I don't like change. I keep the same haircut for no less than ten years because I'm scared to do anything drastic. But I think it would be fun to go all out so I'm working up the nerve.
8. Go to Asheville.
9. Write a children's book. And a grown up book.
10. Learn to embrace imperfection. And messy hair.
11. Grow in confidence as a momma. It is the hardest, most beautiful job I have ever done. I've never had to plead with the Lord more to protect my kids from my mistakes. But I also want to learn to give myself grace and to be okay with my kids seeing me fail. It's good for me and for them. Perfect mommas don't need Jesus and Lord knows that I surely do.
12. Take a cooking class.
13. Go on a Fall Foliage bed & breakfast road trip.
14. Napa Valley vacay. Enough said.
15. See the Northern Lights. I'm actually kinda iffy on this one. I've heard they're not all they're chalked up to be.
16. Take a fitness class at a trampoline park.
17. Retake our wedding pictures for our Ten Year. First of all, our original pictures suck. We didn't even get them until our 4th year of marriage (and here is the super sweet video of the time DJ finally tracked them down and surprised me with them). I just need to decide if I want to trash the dress or just get all dressed up and include the kids to show how our marriage and family has changed and grown in ten years. Or maybe I'll do both, because how fun would that be?!
18. Have a prom party. Because my birthday is in prom season and because once you're married, it kinda feels like you will never again have the opportunity to get all dressed up ever. There are no balls or galas in my life and I want to get dressed up, dangit! The whole shibang. Fancy gown, professional hair and make up, a limo, a group of friends and a fancy dinner. Oh yea, and maybe dancing, too.
19. Get Moses' name changed on his social security card. This is actually beyond my control but I've been working on it for almost a year and it very well may be the end of me.
20. Expose our family to the global church in our own backyard. We've always talked about how one Sunday a month we'd like to visit churches of other ethnic and denominational backgrounds in order to help to keep both the nations and the Church tangibly before us. I hope we start doing this soon.
21. Create a capsule wardrobe. Or better yet, have someone do this for me.
22. Find a realistic & healthy balance with social media. Because this is always a battle for me. Eesh.
23. Go to a Korean Spa. Actually, get DJ to go to one. He's too modest for his own good.
24. Move. Or learn to love Garland. No, wait. Move.
25. Be able to think about and decide on my kids' education without hyperventilating and getting sweaty pits.
26. Stop eating dessert every day. Just kidding. This little habit started the day Jones was born and it's a little gem that I hope never goes away.
27. Discover a creative outlet. My perfectionism tends to be a killjoy in this arena.
28. Learn to cut my own bangs. This might not seem like a big deal, but I typically refrain from doing things I can fail at. Especially when that failure is on my face. (I actually cut my bangs for the very first time like two weeks ago. It wasn't the best ever. But, it wasn't awful either.)
29. Go to a Happy Hour Live event! Yes please. I basically have a girl crush on Jamie Ivey.
30. Join a book club.
31. Care less about being loved and accepted. Care more about being loving and accepting.
32. Learn to be okay with a simple Christmas. It's easy to buy into the hooplah. To feel the pressure to spend a lot of money and to buy a lot of things. But honestly? It stresses me out every year and it can kinda be a killjoy. I want Christmas to be about our sweet little traditions. About baking and sharing meals and time together and making memories. Some gifts, yes, but not many and not for everyone. And I want to be okay with that.
33. Take a ballet class. I'm being serious.
34. Expand & diversify my friend group. It's all too easy to stick to people who look and act and think just like you. But there is value and beauty and much to learn from in the differences too and I hope to see this more in my life.
35. Somehow end up on one of the Ellen In Your Ear pranks. Those things are hilarious.
36. Learn how to be girly. There's more to fixing hair than just a straightener or a pony tail, but I'm just not sure what. And accessorizing seems fun minus the part about not wanting to spend my money on accessories. And, I want to smell good! Oh and rompers and wedges and high waisted swim suits and shirts that tuck into pencil skirts. Can someone please devote a weekend to teaching me about all these things?!
37. Go to the airport on a whim and purchase the cheapest out of state plane ticket. As long as that place is somewhere fun and not lame. Spend the weekend enjoying said city.
38. Take a photoshop class.
39. Learn to strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere. People are fascinating and I want to know all their stories. My friend Mackenzie is great at this. So is Brandon Stanton. I basically want to be him because Humans of New York is fascinating.
40. Figure out who on earth I should vote for in this election and truly be at peace with my decision.
So there you have it. You are cordially invited to join me in crossing off any item (or items) of your choice. Really. Otherwise, I might forget I created this list and end up doing none of them at all.
xoxo,
courtney
In the meantime, though... you know those Forty before 40 lists? I made one. Because I like goals and lists and crossing goals off of lists so this is pretty much my happy place. And just in case anyone cares about the not too lofty and perfectly attainable goals I hope to reach before I hit middle age, I thought I'd grace you with my list.
And so, here it is. Before I turn 40, I hope to....
1. Always be reading a book. I started this year and it has been so good for my brain.
2. Take a big trip for our 10 year anniversary. It's next year. TEN YEARS. I feel like such a grown up.
3. Grow our family. Both by birth and through adoption. I pretty much want all the babies.
4. Mentor and be mentored. Any takers?
5. Start my own business. I have three ideas up my sleeve... I just need to go for it. I think I also need money to do this, but I'll just cross that bridge when I get there.
6. Get my nose pierced. Again. Because you're only young once and I'm running out of time.
7. Chop off my hair. Let's be honest, I don't like change. I keep the same haircut for no less than ten years because I'm scared to do anything drastic. But I think it would be fun to go all out so I'm working up the nerve.
8. Go to Asheville.
9. Write a children's book. And a grown up book.
10. Learn to embrace imperfection. And messy hair.
11. Grow in confidence as a momma. It is the hardest, most beautiful job I have ever done. I've never had to plead with the Lord more to protect my kids from my mistakes. But I also want to learn to give myself grace and to be okay with my kids seeing me fail. It's good for me and for them. Perfect mommas don't need Jesus and Lord knows that I surely do.
12. Take a cooking class.
13. Go on a Fall Foliage bed & breakfast road trip.
14. Napa Valley vacay. Enough said.
15. See the Northern Lights. I'm actually kinda iffy on this one. I've heard they're not all they're chalked up to be.
16. Take a fitness class at a trampoline park.
17. Retake our wedding pictures for our Ten Year. First of all, our original pictures suck. We didn't even get them until our 4th year of marriage (and here is the super sweet video of the time DJ finally tracked them down and surprised me with them). I just need to decide if I want to trash the dress or just get all dressed up and include the kids to show how our marriage and family has changed and grown in ten years. Or maybe I'll do both, because how fun would that be?!
18. Have a prom party. Because my birthday is in prom season and because once you're married, it kinda feels like you will never again have the opportunity to get all dressed up ever. There are no balls or galas in my life and I want to get dressed up, dangit! The whole shibang. Fancy gown, professional hair and make up, a limo, a group of friends and a fancy dinner. Oh yea, and maybe dancing, too.
19. Get Moses' name changed on his social security card. This is actually beyond my control but I've been working on it for almost a year and it very well may be the end of me.
20. Expose our family to the global church in our own backyard. We've always talked about how one Sunday a month we'd like to visit churches of other ethnic and denominational backgrounds in order to help to keep both the nations and the Church tangibly before us. I hope we start doing this soon.
21. Create a capsule wardrobe. Or better yet, have someone do this for me.
22. Find a realistic & healthy balance with social media. Because this is always a battle for me. Eesh.
23. Go to a Korean Spa. Actually, get DJ to go to one. He's too modest for his own good.
24. Move. Or learn to love Garland. No, wait. Move.
25. Be able to think about and decide on my kids' education without hyperventilating and getting sweaty pits.
26. Stop eating dessert every day. Just kidding. This little habit started the day Jones was born and it's a little gem that I hope never goes away.
27. Discover a creative outlet. My perfectionism tends to be a killjoy in this arena.
28. Learn to cut my own bangs. This might not seem like a big deal, but I typically refrain from doing things I can fail at. Especially when that failure is on my face. (I actually cut my bangs for the very first time like two weeks ago. It wasn't the best ever. But, it wasn't awful either.)
29. Go to a Happy Hour Live event! Yes please. I basically have a girl crush on Jamie Ivey.
30. Join a book club.
31. Care less about being loved and accepted. Care more about being loving and accepting.
32. Learn to be okay with a simple Christmas. It's easy to buy into the hooplah. To feel the pressure to spend a lot of money and to buy a lot of things. But honestly? It stresses me out every year and it can kinda be a killjoy. I want Christmas to be about our sweet little traditions. About baking and sharing meals and time together and making memories. Some gifts, yes, but not many and not for everyone. And I want to be okay with that.
33. Take a ballet class. I'm being serious.
34. Expand & diversify my friend group. It's all too easy to stick to people who look and act and think just like you. But there is value and beauty and much to learn from in the differences too and I hope to see this more in my life.
35. Somehow end up on one of the Ellen In Your Ear pranks. Those things are hilarious.
36. Learn how to be girly. There's more to fixing hair than just a straightener or a pony tail, but I'm just not sure what. And accessorizing seems fun minus the part about not wanting to spend my money on accessories. And, I want to smell good! Oh and rompers and wedges and high waisted swim suits and shirts that tuck into pencil skirts. Can someone please devote a weekend to teaching me about all these things?!
37. Go to the airport on a whim and purchase the cheapest out of state plane ticket. As long as that place is somewhere fun and not lame. Spend the weekend enjoying said city.
38. Take a photoshop class.
39. Learn to strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere. People are fascinating and I want to know all their stories. My friend Mackenzie is great at this. So is Brandon Stanton. I basically want to be him because Humans of New York is fascinating.
40. Figure out who on earth I should vote for in this election and truly be at peace with my decision.
So there you have it. You are cordially invited to join me in crossing off any item (or items) of your choice. Really. Otherwise, I might forget I created this list and end up doing none of them at all.
xoxo,
courtney
Monday, May 16, 2016
Blogging Again
I've been thinking a lot about blogging lately. Writing has always been my thing. It was pretty much my major in college and it's a good way for me to get outside of own head. It's therapeutic like that. But here's the dilemma. I feel like I have a lot to say, while at the same time feeling like I don't have anything to say at all. Here's what I mean...
I could write about myself, but how do I do that in a way that isn't self seeking? Has not social media forced us to be more self focused and image conscious than we already are on our own? I am not sure I know the balance of writing about myself without wanting to glorify myself. So, there's that.
I could write about my kids, but I am already guilty of being a total Mom Instagrammer. Or, Mommagrammer if you will. If you look at my social media sites you may very well think I don't have a life outside of my kids, which isn't true. But let's face it... they just are too cute not to share.
I could write about adoption and how the Lord has completely lavished our family with blessing and grace since Moses came home. Yet, his story is not mine to share so how do I write openly about our journey while still honoring my son? And besides, some things are just too sacred to share. Yet this is a huge piece of our story and something I love to advocate for and talk about! I just need to figure out the balance of what that looks like first. What goes on the internet stays on the internet and I need to be mindful of that always... but especially when it comes to this.
I could write about my opinions. My lanta, has the internet not become a war zone for that? But I just don't think that's my platform. My personal conviction is to share my thoughts and beliefs about all the controversial things over a cup of coffee with a good friend who can hear the warmth of my voice and see the smile on my face. And, the internet just doesn't allow for that. So, don't expect much of that on here.
So, how do I write something interesting when my interesting things have limits? I honestly am not too sure. For today, I'll leave you with this. In honor of my all time favorite podcast, The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey, here are three things I am loving right now as well as what I am reading. Enjoy!
Three Things I am Loving Right Now
1. Bulletproof Coffee. Coffee + Butter. What's not to love? You can learn how to make it here.
2. New American cuisine. What? Where have these restaurants been all my life? My mom works in the hotel + restaurant industry so for the entirety of our marriage we have enjoyed the luxury of fancy steakhouses (all on her dime, I might add. Thanks Mom!). But after a while, they just start to all taste the same... which is saying a lot from this steak and potato loving gal. But New American food? So fun. Me and my handsome have been frequenting new joints on the rare occasion that we can sneak a brunch date in. But the best part? How DJ makes us coffee before we go and we leave with enough time before our reservation to have an extended coffee date in the car. It's like two dates in one, because duh.
3. Supper Club. First, why are all of my favorite things about food? I think that might say something about me. Second, this is totally and obviously stolen from Jen Hatmaker, but whatever. Good food, good friends, good conversation. Once a month. Without the kids. It is spectacular and everyone should join one.
As for what I am reading, I just finished Girls & Sex by Peggy Orenstein. I promise it's not porn. Ya'll, it's about the sexual landscape that teenagers are navigating today. It is fascinating. And by fascinating, I mean horrifying. If you have kids, or know kids, you should read this book. Granted, it will be completely outdated by the time my kids hit that age bracket, but if nothing else, it was an eye opening, albeit heartbreaking, read.
The second I publish this blog post, I'm picking up a new book called Nobody's Cuter Than You. It's a memoir about friendship and was referred to me by a friend. I'm excited for a happy lighthearted book after the weighty read that Girls & Sex was.
I have no idea what to write about next. And knowing me, this might be the lone blog post before I give up and quit. But I'll go out on a limb here and open up a little Q & A. If there is anything you've ever wanted to know about me, my life, my family, my faith, etc., shoot me a comment. I need some prompts and I'll consider using your ideas as future blog posts. Good luck!
xoxo,
courtney
I could write about myself, but how do I do that in a way that isn't self seeking? Has not social media forced us to be more self focused and image conscious than we already are on our own? I am not sure I know the balance of writing about myself without wanting to glorify myself. So, there's that.
I could write about my kids, but I am already guilty of being a total Mom Instagrammer. Or, Mommagrammer if you will. If you look at my social media sites you may very well think I don't have a life outside of my kids, which isn't true. But let's face it... they just are too cute not to share.
I could write about adoption and how the Lord has completely lavished our family with blessing and grace since Moses came home. Yet, his story is not mine to share so how do I write openly about our journey while still honoring my son? And besides, some things are just too sacred to share. Yet this is a huge piece of our story and something I love to advocate for and talk about! I just need to figure out the balance of what that looks like first. What goes on the internet stays on the internet and I need to be mindful of that always... but especially when it comes to this.
I could write about my opinions. My lanta, has the internet not become a war zone for that? But I just don't think that's my platform. My personal conviction is to share my thoughts and beliefs about all the controversial things over a cup of coffee with a good friend who can hear the warmth of my voice and see the smile on my face. And, the internet just doesn't allow for that. So, don't expect much of that on here.
So, how do I write something interesting when my interesting things have limits? I honestly am not too sure. For today, I'll leave you with this. In honor of my all time favorite podcast, The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey, here are three things I am loving right now as well as what I am reading. Enjoy!
Three Things I am Loving Right Now
1. Bulletproof Coffee. Coffee + Butter. What's not to love? You can learn how to make it here.
2. New American cuisine. What? Where have these restaurants been all my life? My mom works in the hotel + restaurant industry so for the entirety of our marriage we have enjoyed the luxury of fancy steakhouses (all on her dime, I might add. Thanks Mom!). But after a while, they just start to all taste the same... which is saying a lot from this steak and potato loving gal. But New American food? So fun. Me and my handsome have been frequenting new joints on the rare occasion that we can sneak a brunch date in. But the best part? How DJ makes us coffee before we go and we leave with enough time before our reservation to have an extended coffee date in the car. It's like two dates in one, because duh.
3. Supper Club. First, why are all of my favorite things about food? I think that might say something about me. Second, this is totally and obviously stolen from Jen Hatmaker, but whatever. Good food, good friends, good conversation. Once a month. Without the kids. It is spectacular and everyone should join one.
As for what I am reading, I just finished Girls & Sex by Peggy Orenstein. I promise it's not porn. Ya'll, it's about the sexual landscape that teenagers are navigating today. It is fascinating. And by fascinating, I mean horrifying. If you have kids, or know kids, you should read this book. Granted, it will be completely outdated by the time my kids hit that age bracket, but if nothing else, it was an eye opening, albeit heartbreaking, read.
The second I publish this blog post, I'm picking up a new book called Nobody's Cuter Than You. It's a memoir about friendship and was referred to me by a friend. I'm excited for a happy lighthearted book after the weighty read that Girls & Sex was.
I have no idea what to write about next. And knowing me, this might be the lone blog post before I give up and quit. But I'll go out on a limb here and open up a little Q & A. If there is anything you've ever wanted to know about me, my life, my family, my faith, etc., shoot me a comment. I need some prompts and I'll consider using your ideas as future blog posts. Good luck!
xoxo,
courtney
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