The Good Things In Life III

Quite possibly one of the best things in life is happening as I write. My kids are in their rooms; one sleeping, the other happily playing. I have a cup of coffee and the windows are open, letting the cloudy day and drizzly weather seep a shadow of comfort into my home. Quiet alone time and overcast days are some of life's greatest things but there are other (and way more fun) things I am loving lately, too. Things too good to keep to myself, so read and enjoy and tell me if you love these things too.

Page CXVI. They are my new favorite band and I will go ahead and spare you the Google look up time to tell you that CXVI translates to 116. If you are cool, you may have heard of the band The Autumn Film, but I am not cool and I live under a rock, so that basically meant nothing to me when I first heard it. But apparently the folks who are in The Autumn Film decided to create a parallel band with the purpose of making hymns known and accessible once again, and Page CXVI was birthed out of that desire. I love, love, love hymns. The beauty, history, tradition, truth, theology, and richness all wrapped up in a simple song that the church has been singing for ages is enough to make my heart swell. But truth be told, it can be hard to find hymns where the music isn't just completely outdated, so I appreciate the modern day twist that Page CXVI puts to these ancient songs. They have several albums out, many of which align with some of the most sacred seasons in the Christian faith including Lent, Advent, and Easter. I love that about them. My favorite song of theirs is currently Feast On Fast From. Listen and you're welcome.

Speaking of hymns, Hosanna Loud Hosannas is a hymnal that I am currently loving. I've had my eye on it for over a year, but I wasn't in love with the price when I wasn't sure what I would really be getting. I remembered a friend mentioning that she had a copy so I reached out to her to see if she loved it and would recommend the purchase. Not only did she love and recommend it, but she had an extra copy on hand and sent it to me for free. This friend loves me and so does Jesus because ya'll know I am cheap and rarely spend a dollar unless I think it is absolutely worth it. Or unless it's on french fries, in which case my money starts to burn a hole in my pocket. Anyway, Hosanna Loud Hosannas is a hymnal that includes not just the lyrics but the music sheets, the background on what the hymn is about and the circumstances in which is was written, and a short devo to accompany it. I love this book because I only know the more popular hymns that are traditionally sung in church but this hymnal is filled with over 100 old songs, most of which I have never heard of. I have seen how much and how quickly kids memorize through song so I love having this as a resource for Moses. We sing a hymn before bed each night, taking time to really learn and memorize the words before moving on to another one, and it is my prayer that these truths would sink deep into his heart even at his young age. 

Off Camera With Sam Jones is a podcast I am also loving lately. Photographer/Director Sam Jones created this show out of a passion for in depth conversation and that is precisely what I love about it. I already mentioned that I live under a rock and I basically don't have a clue who anyone famous is. I see magazine covers in line at the grocery store and if not for the fact that their name is plastered across the page in huge block letters, I wouldn't have a clue who they were. I fail at Pop Culture questions and games 100% of the time. Also, I'm sad to admit that I have historically thought that anyone out of Hollywood is basically surfaced and shallow and lacking any real depth, but Sam Jones has blown my perception to shreds. Not only does he actually introduce me to celebrities, but he interviews and gets to know them in such an intentional and personal way and I am so thankful for that. What I have seen is that these are real people. Not just people who are pretty and make a lot of money and have lots of nice things and amazing opportunities, but real people with real stories, real feelings, real baggage, and real insight. They are educated and creative and innovative in a way that takes a vast amount of brilliance and talent and they are deep and introspective in a way that is beautiful and raw. My favorite one so far has been with Dax Shepard. Listen and enjoy.

You guys. Backing up pictures has always been overwhelming and stressful to me. I love pictures so very much, but with everything being digital these days, trying to know how to best organize and store them in a way that makes sense and can be passed down to my kids in years to come is like a whole pandora's box of crap that has honestly just stressed me out. Should I print them and take up my precious closet space with hard copies? That sounds like money and death. Should I make scrap books? That sounds like time I don't have and basically makes my brain bleed just thinking about it. Should I make photo books? Because this also feels like a nightmare when it comes to organizing and storing things in chronological order because I am neurotic and super care about things like that. For years I have not known what to do about this so I ignored it like the plague while my pictures just accumulated more and more and created additional stress over time. Enter Amazon Drive and Chatbooks. I now have a system that is easy and stress free and it is just the best. Once a month I organize my pictures. I save them in folders organized by month on my computer and then I back it up on an external harddrive. And then, just to be safe, I back it up again to Amazon Drive which is my hero and my life saver because it is super easy and oh yea they have UNLIMITED PHOTO STORAGE for Prime members, yeauh! I also take my all time favorite pictures and upload them to Chatbooks which puts them into a book for me in chronological order based on the date that they were taken so I don't even have to spend time putting them in order myself! My pictures are now backed up twice over and I get a yearly photo book all with total ease and zero stress. YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

I mentioned in my girly post that I am in love with Lush. Seriously, I love going in that store and there is always something fun and happy to buy, usually at a totally great rate. Lately I am totally into their bath bombs. Twilight is my favorite and sometimes I just buy it and let it sit in my bathroom for weeks before using it because I love the way it makes the room smell. It's just the prettiest scent. And this Rainbow soap for the kids! It is bubble bath, shampoo, soap, and moldable playdoh all in one, plus it leaves the bathwater a pretty color and it makes my kids smell so delicious I could just eat them right up. It is the most fun and puts such a little happy in our day.

Perhaps most importantly.... peeled garlic. I eat garlic like I breathe air, for which DJ is forever grateful I'm sure. Do you know how many countless hours I have spent peeling garlic? Too many. It takes a literal forever and I can attest that the only plus side of peeling so much garlic is that I get to eat it when I'm done. Also, that my hands smell like delicious for actual days on end afterward. But still, peeling garlic in the quantity that we eat it could practically be a full time job and this was basically the death of me until I discovered that you can buy it already peeled. Two words: Game Changer. If you love garlic, this product is for you. Don't get the garlic marinating in brine unless you want your garlic to taste like crap; just get the freshly peeled stuff. But wait-- don't be so quick to stop buying the bulbs either, because here's a little tidbit just for free: If you have high energy boys like me, keep some garlic bulbs on hand anyway. Peeling garlic is a great (and quiet!) way for them to re-focus and re-purpose all that energy. You're welcome for this, too.

There are lots of other wonderful things in life, but there is also time and I am out of it. Tell me, what things are you loving lately?

xoxo,
courtney

A Day In The Life Of A Hofmann

A while ago someone suggested that I write about what my days look like as a momma. And, I just haven't done it yet because I feel like that may be the most boring post in the history of the internet. However, I am a big nerd and I actually do like to hear about how other mommas structure their days, the things they do, and why they do them. I actually feel really helped, encouraged, and challenged by watching others who do it differently than me and it fills me with fresh ideas and perspectives when my own systems are running dry. And so, for the *mere chance* that you are actually interested in my day or are looking for ideas to spice up your own life, here is what a typical day in the Hofmann household looks like:

Oh wait, here's a super long caveat because so much of how we structure our day comes from a parenting philosophy that I love so much and want to tell you about. But can I first just say that I have found that I am way more traditional and structured and old school than I ever thought I would be?! It's like I don't even recognize myself as a mom. Stay at home with my kids? Schedule out my day? Desire to homeschool? Who am I? These are things I never considered or aspired to even as recently as just a few years ago. I have surprised myself (and probably DJ) with the things I delight in and desire as a mom. I might actually be living in the wrong century, because I feel a bit more pioneer dress and bonnet-y than modern day attire calls for. Except instead of pioneer dresses and bonnets, I meant sweat pants. Every day all day, ya'll.
 

The caveat continues. So before we had kids, we had the privilege of working at The Village Church in Flower Mound and were connected to the most amazing people and wonderful families. We literally got to sit back, observe, and learn from them for the better half of ten years and in doing so I noticed that I was drawn to a specific kind of family-- the kind where family members (parents and siblings alike) were genuinely close and seemed to have a mutual respect for and genuine enjoyment in one another. The kinds of families where the younger kids were surprisingly polite and respectful, were enjoyable to be around, and knew how to talk to adults without always being glued to technology. The kinds of families where the teenagers were all those things I just listed, as well as educated and informed, well acquainted with several trains of thought and ideas and viewpoints, and yet had a good head on their shoulders and were capable of (and even trusted with!) making wise decisions for themselves. The kind of families where the grown children possessed all of those qualities and more, and better yet, still had so much honor and respect for their parents. Like, could not wait for the holidays so that they could be reunited with their parents and brothers and sisters because they still just loved and respected them that much. Seriously, what beautiful families we got to witness. So when I became a new mom and was struggling and crying and discouraged as I tried to parent a TWO YEAR OLD WHO DID NOT SPEAK MY LANGUAGE, I reached out to these families because I felt like they were onto some sort of awesome secret that I really wanted in on. None of these families knew each other, but with every single one of them there was a common denominator: Child Wise. In each instance was a God fearing family who had read and implemented the very practical parenting tips that Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam write about in their books. And so, I got the books because these are families that I loved and respected and hoped for my family to one day look even just a sliver like. We aren't there yet, but we are trying and aspiring.

I say all of this to justify the totally dorky idea of structuring out your day, because that might just sound like a nerd alert. But it is one of the many Child Wise suggestions that I have implemented into our family life. At first, I thought the idea sounded ridiculous. The first time I read about it, I was on the plane to Korea as we flew to pick up Moses, and I envisioned myself sitting down and writing out my day in thirty minute segments which felt totally nerdy and overwhelming. So, I laughed and tossed that idea aside and started implementing many of the other Child Wise suggestions I read about. But in time, I saw that my day pretty much structured itself whether it was written down or not. As I implemented the other practices described in these books, my day naturally fell into a rhythm that we enjoyed and thrived off of. I need structure to keep my sanity and my kids need structure because they are kids and kids do well with routine. Child Wise principles have manifested themselves all throughout our day, and I am sane and functioning better because of it. It's not the only way, but it is a way that I have found to enjoy more than I ever thought I would.

Let it be said that we aren't sticklers, though. We change things up and feel the freedom to be spontaneous and go do fun things and make plans with people when we want to. But for the most part, I truly enjoy a lot of time at home and try to have a few days a week where we don't do much besides just be together. So without further ado, the days that we do stick to the house pretty much look like this:

• 6:00 am. This is my sacred me time. I wake up and have time to myself which generally includes working out or reading, making coffee, and spending time with the Lord. Moses has a light in his room that is set to go off at 7:45. No matter what time he wakes up, he knows that he needs to stay in his room and play quietly until his light goes off. And Jones? Well he's pretty much trapped in his crib until I come to get him. Mwuhahahaha. Except really, all praise be to God for making him to be a boy who is happy to just lay quietly and talk to himself in bed, so he too hangs out until 7:45 when Moses' light goes off and he comes bounding out of his room. I'm telling you... no one wants me to be their mom before 7:45. No one. It ain't pretty.

• 7:45 am. Us Hofmanns love our slow mornings. We don't do anything early and seem to be way behind the schedules of all other families with small kids. At 7:45, me and Moses saunter into Jones' room and hang out for a bit. A) Because Jones' room is the most peaceful room in the house. The soft gray walls and morning light make it one of my happiest places. And B) because the boys are contained in a small place and it gives me even more time to slowly settle into the day. The boys have the time of their lives wrestling over a giant stuffed animal, reading books, or sliding off a chair while I look upon them with sheer delight or perhaps annoyance, depending on what is happening and what moods are present at the time. 

 

• Breakfast at our casa is usually around 9:00. While I cook, Moses plays freely with whatever toys suit his fancy and Jones plays quietly on a blanket in the kitchen while I cook. I put out a few toys of my own choice and he sits and plays until it's time to eat. This is another Child Wise principle that I thought seemed ridiculously hard and overwhelming and weird, but have actually enjoyed. I appreciate that it teaches Jones contentment to play with whatever is put before him and it has been a good lesson in teaching obedience and boundaries. My hope in implementing it at home is that it will be good training grounds for when we are out in public at parks or doctors offices and the likes. I have seen small glimpses of fruit here, but don't be deceived. Some days he does awesome and stays on the blanket the entire time with ease, and other days it's like a mad house and requires constant reminders to stay on his blanket until I say that he is done. Let's just say that training is not for the faint of heart.

• The boys play while I do the dishes and then we set aside some time to read. It is by far one of my favorite things to do with the boys and we try to do a lot of it. I'll barricade Jones into the living room and we'll sit and read for as long as we can. Moses could sit and be read to for hours on end, but with Jones around, we're good if we can get in a solid 30 minutes or so. All three of us learn and grow so much from this time together and I hope it will always be a part of our day. Like my best friend Jamie Ivey says, readers are leaders... right?! This picture is old but it remains an all time favorite:

• Jones is starting to drop a nap, but I still put him down late morning, maybe around 11 or so. This is special Momma/Moses time (as we call it) and it's a time that I try to be more intentional. A lot of times we do "school work" and Moses will work on reading, writing, cutting, or coloring, or sometimes we have a coffee date (his being hot chocolate) and play a game together. Other times he will play outside while I read or answer emails on the porch.  The point is for it to be low key and intentional when possible. 

• We eat a late lunch; usually around 1 or so. Nothing special or noteworthy here. Just lots of messes and cuteness. 

• In the afternoon, the boys usually have time to freely play. Most times we just stick around the house because quite honestly, loading everyone up to go to the park is kind of a beat down to me. The boys are happy to vroom their trucks on the floor FOR LITERALLY HOURS, or they will play in the yard and we all kind of just do our own thing. 

 

• Usually around 3:00 we do Room Time which is another Child Wise strategy that I LOVE. Let's be honest, I am a better mom when I get significant time to myself which is why I refuse to parent before 7:45 and require some downtime in the afternoon. I put Jones down for a nap and he will either sleep or talk happily to himself in his crib. Moses usually spends this time listening to an audio book, reading books on his bed, or playing quietly with dinosaurs or trucks. Don't be deceived; he is not always so angelic. The other day we discovered that he spent Room Time unscrewing the light bulbs from his lamps and smashing them together leaving shards of glass all over his carpet and bed sheets. Sometimes he climbs on his headboard and picks the popcorn off the ceiling or climbs on his bookshelf or to the tip top of his closet. And, oh yeah, there are the countless times that I have to go upstairs and ask him to play quietly like a mouse because without any exaggeration at all whatsoever, it honestly can sound like 25 elephants are stomping around in his room because there is nothing at all about Moses that is quiet. As for me, I usually spend this time showering (because I literally wait until the end of the day to shower and fix my hair and put on make up and feel pretty for DJ only to be cute for the first ten minutes that he is home, at which point he changes out of his suit and puts on sweatpants, and if he is in sweatpants then I should be in sweatpants so back into sweatpants I go!). Then I drink my afternoon cup and read or text my girlfriends, anything for some sacred downtime. 

• Room Time ends around 4:00 and we usually play freely and hang out until 5:00 at which point Jones plays in his Pack-N-Play and Moses does an activity of my choosing at the table while I cook dinner. Depending on the day, his level of exhaustion, and his mood, Moses will either read some sentences that I write out for him, practice writing his letters, color, play with kinetic sand (this is by far the best thing ever invented for boys besides nature), build with legos, or sometimes just cry in his room because it is the Witching Hour after all and some days he can just be too tired to function at this point in the day. 

• We eat dinner around 6:00/6:30, and have been trying to eat on our back porch as much as we can before it gets too hot. DJ built a pergola and hung lights and it's just the best way for our family to slow down together in the evenings and it is just my favorite. DJ does the dishes every night because he is a servant and then we start the bedtime routine. For the most part this always looks like reading a story, singing a hymn, and praying, though we will do more intentional family devotionals at various seasons throughout the year. We are currently doing an Easter family devo each night before bed and it is a sweet time for Moses to stay up a little late with us before heading to bed. Each night ends with a sweet "Ni-Ni" from Jones and a World Famous Mosey Hug from Moses. I love them so much, but bedtime is always such a sweet relief because a momma's work is hard work, no joke.

• The boys are usually in bed by 7:30 and then we get to hang out just us! By ourselves! Like the old times before kids! We watch TV or have a drink on the patio or play games or talk and it is just some of my most favorite time spent. But the time always goes too quickly as I have to go to bed by 11:00 if I want to function or be a good mom (or any kind of mom, really) the next day.

So there you have it. That is roughly what our days look like when we are home. I love it because it allows for order and peace and helps me to feel in control even despite having two boys who can be loud and emotional and hyper and rowdy and just plain boy. The weekends are more low key and schedules can more easily go out the window because Daddy is home and Daddy is fun and Moses gets more TV time and we drink coffee on the couch all the live long day and it is just easier and the kind of Sabbath rest that I look forward to all week. The weekends are my favorite and every day should be one.

What about you? What do your days look like? I'm really asking here.

Much love,
courtney

On Being Girly Part Deux

Last month I wrote about my thoughts and insecurities on being girly. You know, things I've observed and wanted to grow in and what not. Through that post, I had so many fun recommendations of girly tips and things to try, and even had one sweet friend personally mail me some of her favorite products. Such happy mail! It was pretty much the funnest and as I have branched out on things in Girly Land these past 6 weeks, I thought I would post an update on the things I have loved.

First things first: food. Let's be honest. We eat pretty healthy at home, but when we go out, I'm just not going to order a salad. Nope. Not gonna do it. I just can't, ya'll. Restaurants fix things the best so when I go out, I'm gonna go all the way. Go big or go home, right? So chicken fried steak, here I come. And I've decided that I won't even feel guilty about it. I'm also going to keep on drinking my coffee. The dentist told me that it stains the UNDERNEATH of your teeth, not even the front where people see, so hello, this is obvious. What you can't see won't hurt you, so I will consume all of the coffee. If there's anything me and DJ do right, it's food, as exhibited here when we had pie for breakfast. No regrets, just love and calories.

Hair. I've tried lots of hair products this month and the reality is this. My hair is still just a crazy hot mess in the back and a weird mix of straight and wavy up front. It is what it is. I am still trying to figure out what to do about this, but in the meantime, I am learning to embrace the au naturale look and just go with what God gave me. I just can't waste my precious down time on all this hair fixing so I've spritzed and lathered with a few simple things and then off I go. Here are the few things I have tried: Chi Silk Infusion for softness and shine, Redken Curvaceous for curl definition and frizz control, and Not Your Mother's Beach Babe Texturizing Sea Salt Spray to bring out my natural waves. Also, for days that I am feeling especially fancy I use the Bed Head Curlipops wand and I love, love, love it. I'm not saying I actually know how to use it. See how those curls are going in the same direction? I don't think that's right. The plus is that DJ doesn't care about which direction hair should curl, nor does he know the difference anyway, and that's really all that matters, right?! The point is that I'm trying. And I have the burn marks on my arm to show it.

(Also, lest you think I just sit around and take selfies like the young folk, I'll have you know that I took this picture for my friend Julie to ask her how in the heck I am supposed to make those left side curls go the other way. Friendship at it's finest.)

Power Colors. My friend Grace, who is pretty much the trendiest girl I know, sadly informed me that my power colors are lavender and light blue, which made me want to cry because I just can't do pastels. So, blacks and grays and whites it's been which is fine and classic and never goes out of style. As if I know anything about style. I did give Grace's suggestion a try one day, though, when I tested out a light periwinkle toenail polish, and I have to say that she was right. I loved it more than I thought I would. Shout out to my girl who knows what's up. Here's a picture in the only light blue shirt I own, and it's basically made out of plastic which means it ALWAYS needs ironed so I never wear it. So cheers to the one time I wore my power color!

Clothes. Okay, I really want to do a capsule wardrobe or have Stitch Fix be my stylist, but a girl can only have so much rattling change at one time, so I haven't spent much focus here. In the meantime, I did buy all the plaid and all the button up shirts that Target had to offer over the course of the winter season so I basically look the exact same every single day. I also found out about Alison Lumbatis over at Get Your Pretty On and she has a phenomenal Capsule Wardrobe Guide that I subscribed to. It tells you EXACTLY what to buy to get it done and is a perfect How To for a black and white Type A like me. But alas, for a girl who basically always wants to be pregnant, it might not be the best time to invest in clothes. Although I did get a pair of jeans from Gap because I had a gift card and they were 50% off which made them free. You guys! Gap jeans! Nobody told me!! They fit perfectly and do not stretch out by the end of the day, or by the end of the month for that matter, which I know because I never wash my jeans. I have spent the past ten years spending no more than $20 dollars on jeans which basically means they showed my butt crack every time I leaned forward and they thinned out and ripped within months. I have tasted the goodness of good quality blue jean and I will never go back. Lastly, I also bought a pair of booties from Amazon that I adore more than I thought I would. They make me feel trendy even when I am not. PS: Who buys boots from Amazon? Apparently me. Here is one of the many plaid shirts that defined my entire winter wardrobe. Also, see my section on Accessories for a link to those super fun earrings.

Perfume. I think I mentioned in my last post that DJ surprised me with my own brand new bottle of real perfume! Never in my life have I splurged on something so fancy, so nice, so womanly! Perfume makes me feel like my mom and since I am a mom now, I figured I should have some. He got me a bottle of BVLGARI Coral and now I smell like flowers instead of the dirt and pee and toot stench I pick up from my kids. Hooray!

Skin. Ya'll, I went to Lush and splurged. I never, ever, ever spend money on myself and I made myself do it and it was fun! You know I am cheap, so I am not sure if I will ever do it again, and I also secretly am not sure if I can really tell much of a difference anyway, but for now I am enjoying the Dark Angels black sugar and charcoal exfoliate and Imperials moisturizer for my face. I also got the Tea Tree Water toner, but this is nothing to write home about it as I am almost certain it does basically nothing except make my face feel wet and drippy, which gross. For my hands, I am super loving the Lemony Flutter cuticle butter and Handy Guru lotion. I basically never wash my face, so for the past six weeks it has been the most fun to put the boys to bed and practically run to my bathroom to wash the day off my face before I head downstairs to enjoy the evening with my man. So clean and so fresh! Who knew a washed face could make such a difference? For the record, this one IS a selfie and you're welcome.

Accessories. Ya'll, my friend Andrea got me these super cute leather earrings that I LOVED (see the picture above under section: Clothes). And then I went to Chicago and lost one and basically wanted to cry. So next on my list is to replace them because just look at how fun they are. Also, my eyesight basically deteriorated and my glasses were doing zilch for my vision so I decided to get new ones and Warby Parker became my new BFF. I got the Rose and Oliver frames because our insurance is amazing and fully covered both pairs. BOTH. Holla! I never knew that glasses could be so fun.

So there you have it. I spent all my Christmas money and tried lots of girly things and that's my report. My overall analysis is that I'm pretty low maintenance, casual, and cheap and want to find a way to be trendy that doesn't require any work and will highlight the quirks God gave me. If it's not simple, I'm not going to do it. If it's expensive, I might buy it once, but probably never again. Unless they are Gap jeans. I am sold for life.

I have been having fun though, so I'm still looking to you to send me a list of your favorite products.... My birthday's coming up so I'll have a new stash of cash to splurge with soon.

xoxo,
courtney

On being girly

I've never felt very good at being girly. Let me get it out of the way: I am not talking about feminism or womanhood or anything remotely deep in nature. No, no. It is just as surfaced as it sounds. I really am just talking about being girly. Like, looking cute and stuff. Because in my head, being girly means looking super stylish and put together (even on a top knot and sweatpants kind of day), always smelling good, accessorizing, and being awesome at decor with a super cute Pinterest home....none of which I am or have.

Admittedly, I have been observing girls since college, both with the jealousy of not quite fitting in as well as adamant refusal to follow the unspoken rules of being girly. Things like:

• Always ordering salads at restaurants. I vehemently refuse. Why would I order leaves when everything else tastes so dang good, not to mention that the restaurant can make all the heavy, fatty, fried foods a bajillion times better than I ever could so that is precisely the place I want to eat them. So instead, I order my chicken fried steak smothered in gravy and I look like a heifer compared to my friends and I have refused to order a black bean burger when I could get mine all beefy and delicious and smothered in bacon and cheese.

• Not drinking through a straw to avoid getting upper lip wrinkles, all the while drinking through a straw so that coffee won't stain my teeth. This is quite the contradiction, is it not? Whatever is a girl to do?! My solution to this is obvious. Coffee through an IV drip because duh.

• Not rubbing my eyes because wrinkles. Except have you ever rubbed your eyes after having contacts glued to them for the past 16 hours? It's a bit orgasmic if I dare say so myself and I am learning that I need to stop for the sake of old age and wrinkles and being girly and I feel a genuine tension at the thought of giving this one up. Orgasmic I tell you!

Except here's the thing. It seems like girls have been on to something this whole time. Because somewhere along the way I have found myself in my thirties and all of a sudden these things matter and make a difference and I am so far behind and WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THESE SEEMINGLY STUPID RULES HAD REASON BEHIND THEM?! Because I kept eating my chicken fried steak and now I have the cellulite to show it. And I feel like crap afterwards and end up wishing I had ordered the salad after all. And then I became a mom and drank all the coffee and apparently yellow teeth are the only accessory I have to don. And eye wrinkles! Last year I discovered that mine literally connect to my smile lines, which basically just creates one large fold going down the side of my face, except it's on both sides and and hello, that's a whole lot of wrinkle. Although I still struggle with this one, because rubbing my eyes is quite possibly one of the best feelings in the world, and then there is the fact that if you look at a single picture of me in high school, my eyes are blank and my smile is fake and I look lost and confused and sad and there may not be a single line on my face but neither is there any joy. So I may have crows feet and laugh lines but they are evidence of so much fun and laughter and life and that's not something I'm sure I want to trade.

So, back to being girly. I suddenly want in the club. And I need your help because I don't have a clue. Also, I am cheap. I find it hard to be girly when I could spend $80 dollars on perfume or a single pair of trendy shoes, or spend that same amount at Target and get 6 shirts. I can be a real cheapo and therein lies a debaucle. Also, I really, really do want to learn to take better care of myself in this regard and yet I want to do so without caring too much about what I look like or smell like or decorate with. I want to take care of my skin and my hair and my body without putting too much weight on my outward appearance. That is also a debaucle, because I am saying that I want help looking girly all the while not wanting to care too much about these things that are truly temporary and wasting away. I'm not entirely sure that's possible.

So there you have it. And here are the places I want your tips:

• My hair. I have only ever known how to straighten it or wear it in a pony tail. That is as fancy as it gets over here, ya'll. And you want to know something top secret? Every time I curl it, I feel like a fraud. Like someone who thinks they know what they are doing but clearly doesn't and the joke's on her. I've stopped fixing my hair every day because pregnancy and nursing basically murdered it and also, my down time is about a nanosecond long and I'll be damned if I spend that sweet time blow drying my hair. So I have been letting it air dry and I really am trying to like it, but I just don't. It's curly in the back in a rats nest kind of way and straight and stringy in the front. What is that? So I need your help on products and how to fix it and what to do that takes literally zero time and effort and still comes out looking good. And for the rare occasions that I fix it, I need help on knowing what to do. Because straightening it is killing it and I just can't do it anymore. Tutorials don't work, so be prepared to give me hands on help. Lucky you! Oh, and news flash: I've decided to grow out my bangs. If there was ever a test of perseverance, this is it. Wish me luck and send me all your cute solutions for awkward bang lengths.

• Power Colors! Have ya'll heard about this? It's the colors and tones that look best on you and apparently make you come alive and once you discover them you'll never go back. Ya'll I need this in my life. I used to be all about the bright colors. And then in 2012, we lost two babies and my wardrobe died right alongside them. I've been wearing greys and blacks and charcoals ever since and I haven't turned back. But, I want a color that makes me look alive! And brings out the natural colors of my skin and eyes and lips because hello, I just think that sounds fun. Except, someone needs to help a sister out because when I try to take the online test to discover my power color, it expects me to know my skin tone and whether I look better in silver or gold and what colors make me look washed out and hello, if I knew the answers to these questions I wouldn't need help being girly now would I? So can someone just make my life easier and tell me what my power color is and then go buy all the clothes that make me pop?!

• Speaking of new clothes, capsule wardrobes and Stitch Fix are things I want but are too cheap to do. I really, really want to simplify my wardrobe. Let's be honest, I basically live 98% of my life in sweatpants and fuzzy socks and a hoodie anyway. I know, DJ is so lucky. But in order to simplify my wardrobe, I first need to buy all the essentials and they should be good quality, made to last, and as we have already established... I am cheap. And then there are trendy clothes, meshed with the fact that I am always about 3 years behind whatever is in style and am not typically gutsy or confident enough to wear what is currently in. So, I have too many clothes and none of them are in style, and someone help me here please. Any by help me, I just mean go buy the clothes for me. You can be my Stitch Fix stylist for free because that is what I am willing to pay. Just kidding. Kind of.

• Perfume! Except just kidding. I just put this one in here to give my husband the shout out he deserves. Because this year I decided that I wanted to smell nice. Like, actually smell nice with real perfume and everything and not just $12 lotion from Bath & Body Works because I am too stinking (literally) cheap to buy anything else. So I went to Sephora and checked out the perfume section except whoa, that is overwhelming and how is a girl supposed to choose from 900 gazillion bottles? But I took home a sample and I really liked it but then I ran out and because I am cheap, I didn't want to buy the real bottle. And then yesterday afternoon the doorbell rang and UPS had dropped off a pressie with my name on it. I opened it up and low and behold, DJ had bought me the perfume that he knew I wanted but would never buy. Because he loves me. Or maybe because he thinks I stink. But either way I have perfume now and that is a win.

• Hand cream! Yall, this weather. My hands are so dry and cracked and look like an old lady's. I want some kind of thick, delicious smelling hand cream that feels good for hours after it's been applied. Suggestions please.  

• Face things. Confession: I never wash my face. Unless you count using body wash when I shower which hardly counts at all. I sleep with make up on and it doesn't even gross me out. But I am getting old as is evidenced by wrinkles and the fact that my eyes are super puffy in the morning and I assume it's about time I start taking care of my face, eh? My skin is sensitive so I am curious about face wash and astringent and quality lotion. Oh and face masks! My new favorite thing. Because my almost brother in law bought me a coffee ground face mask from Lush and I made DJ do it with me for a date night and it was heavenly. I need more of these things in my life. What are your go to items?

If there is anything being a mom has made me want, aside from boys who grow up into God fearing men, it is to be pampered. It is all I want now. This year for my birthday I want to spend all my time and all my money on manicures and pedicures and a makeover and a Chinese foot massage and a power color appointment and someone telling me what hair and make up and skin care products to get and how to use them. That is my dream, and you are welcome to join me.

Alright, ya'll. Make me a woman!

Dating when date nights are slim

DJ and I have always tried to be intentional about dating. When we first got together back in 2005, one of our very first dates was to create a date box. It was all kinds of classy, what with it being decorated with feathers and mermaid stickers and monster trucks and all. We filled it up with all the fun and free kind of dates that us two poor college kids could muster up and every Monday night during our senior year of college we would draw a date and then off we would go, broke yet blissful, and falling in love along the way. We bungee jumped and played campus golf and went bowling and looked at stars and just had the time of our lives.

Then we got married and dating stayed easy. Looking back, how could it not?! We were young and childless and had all the time in the world! Twenty something things like staying out late and crowds and loud music didn't yet bother me so we went to concerts and out for fancy dinners and had weekend long hotel stays because did I mention that we were rich?! We were two young professionals with full time jobs! And those jobs may have been in ministry, which everyone knows (does not) pay the big bucks, but even two ministry jobs feels quite millionareish when compared to the one income family we now are, much less the zero income situation we just recently came out of. Rich, I tell ya! We went to the movies every Friday and enjoyed as many dates as we wanted because of all that time on our hands and all that money in our pockets.

Fast forward to 2014 when Moses was brand new home and we happily put date nights on hold for this little boy who needed time to adjust and to learn to trust us, much less anyone else we may have left him with. We spent months cultivating his relationships with family and friends so that when the time came for us to go out again, he would be good and ready, secure and fully trusting that we would come back for him. That work paid off, because five months later we had our first date again where we went to BRUNCH and A MOVIE and out for A LONG CAR DRIVE and oh my goodness, it was all my favorite things wrapped up in a 6 hour slice of heaven and so many thanks to Amy for loving and watching our boy because and it went well and we all survived. It was grand. But... it was over too short and back to another long stretch of no dates and did I mention that I adore being a momma but sometimes this season of life can bring many dateless days. Those weekly spur of the moment date nights were becoming a thing of the past that would now require much more planning to happen. Worth it, of course, but just not as easy as it once was.

So then it was 2015 and I got pregnant and dates were rare and I was feeling it. The babysitting situation can be so hard. We don't live near family (yet! but soon!), are not in love with the idea of having to pay for both a date AND a babysitter, because hello-- money, and let's be honest: when it comes to the free kind of best friend babysitters, well.... sometimes they offer, and sometimes we ask, but the friends we would trust to watch our kids are the very ones we want to go on double dates with so that's quite the debacle, is it not?! All of this coupled with a newborn and I started to get the idea that it might be a really long time before those weekly date nights were our reality once again.

So....for Christmas that year, I pulled out our good ole date box from 2005 and filled it with 52 free (or almost free) and little to no planning At Home Date Nights to do the following year. The idea was that we would have one date night a week and that each month would have dates that focused on food, entertainment, conversation and intimacy to ensure that our date life stayed holistic and well rounded, even if from home. Well, let's just be real and say that I was a tad overzealous. 52 date nights with a newborn? I must be crazy. I think I was in bed by 8:00 every night until May and even my sad attempts to stay up and watch a simple TV show with DJ would have me asleep on the couch within 5 minutes of it's start. So 52 date nights did not happen. I'm not sure that 15 even did. No biggie. Because there is real life and there are babies and much needed sleep and grace and we are trying again this year.

We learned from our reality that 52 dates was not as easy to accomplish as I had hoped. So this year, we decided to cut it in half; we went through the pile and we each picked our 12 favorite dates. We put them in a mug on the stove so that the topic of date night is always seen and visible and we decided that Thursdays would be our day. Last Thursday, we drew a date. We took note of any money, shopping or planning that would need to be done and this Thursday we'll date away. Next Thursday we draw again. The following Thursday, we'll get our date on. And so on and so forth. We are trying to date once again.

It's only January, but so far this year we are starting off strong. And, I may be biased, but I think our dates are super fun. And in case you're in a season of slim to none dating and need some fun and mostly free ideas at home, I thought I would share ours from this year. Minus the intimacy ones. You're on your own there, my friend. (Unless you're a girl and you really want ideas, then text me. But let's stay off the internet for that. For real.)

And now, drumroll please.... our dates for 2017:

• Power outage date night--- no lights or technology; just candles & conversation
• Grill out and chill out
• Wine and Cheese Night
• Movie Night- Courtney's pick
• Work on a home improvement project together
• Make a fancy dinner together
• Date Night Jenga with each block having a Truth or Dare prompt
• Hot chocolate by the fire
• All About Us Charades game
• Pizza and a movie in bed
• Funny YouTube videos of people pranking and scaring each other
• Puzzle and Dessert Night
• Video Game Marathon
• Iron Chef Challenge- pick one ingredient and incorporate it into every dish
• Culture Night- make dinner (or order take out) from a different country and then watch a movie or documentary from that corner of the world
• Bookstore Date at Home- hot drinks, yummy appetizers and books and magazines and quiet and reading
• Christmas in July- drink hot chocolate, get each other one gift each, and watch a Christmas movie
• Fondue Night
• Movie Night- DJ's pick
• Monday Night football complete with wings and junk food 

We actually weeded out a lot of our conversation dates for the sake of Thursday nights. We have coffee dates every Saturday and Sunday morning and we like to go on long drives, so we shifted our talking dates to those times; things like setting goals, re-evaluating our marriage and parenting, talking about politics, discussing hard & confusing theological matters, etc. Hence the reason why the majority of our Thursday dates are now focused on fun and food. We have a bunch more on the back burner too, but these are just the ones we picked for this year. And, if I can sneak a few more in, I totally will and you better believe it will be things like a) Charcuterie Night, because yum and b) Teeth Bleaching Night because we love coffee too much and also, we are hot like that and c) Play a practical joke on Moses because we are hilarious and awesome and probably sending him straight to the therapy couch.


So there you have it. Happy dating!

The Good Things In Life II

A while ago, I posted about the things I was loving in life, all of which included food because duh. Food is still pretty much my favorite as evidenced by the fact that a) I cannot stop thinking about the sweet potato chip duck confit I had the other day, b) I about died when I found out there is a legit beignet shop just ten minutes down the road from me, and c) I get food anxiety any time I think I might have to skip a meal....but, I digress. Food aside, there are some other pretty great things that I have been enjoying lately that are worth talking about. Things like:

Year Up. Most people know that I genuinely loved the four months that DJ was unemployed last year. Extra time with my favorite person? Help with the kids? Family time all day every day? Yes please. But I am equally happy to report that DJ started a new job just before Christmas and this place is awesome, ya'll. He is the Site Operations Manager for Year Up, a non profit that exists to empower low income young adults to go from poverty to professional careers in a single year. We were impressed with the organization while he interviewed, and we have only become more and more impressed with all that he has seen and learned since joining their team a little over a month ago. DJ was offered a few different jobs while unemployed and with each one, we felt led to take a risk and decline, believing that God had something else in store. Year Up was the provision we were believing for and we are beyond excited for him to be a part of all that they are doing in the community. This organization is legit and is doing a powerful, incredible work. What a blessing it has been to our little family so far. Plus, DJ has to wear a suit and tie to work and dang... smokin' hot, I tell ya.

The Crown. Hello, have you guys seen this? First of all, I deserve a total pat on the back because I have historically not liked movies or shows that a) do not take place in this time period or b) are unrealistic. I understand that this virtually limits my TV and film viewing by 98% and how deprived this must make me in the entertainment world. But I am really, really trying to broaden my horizon in multiple areas, and I decided to give The Crown a try despite the fact that I almost always have to watch British television with the subtitles on because I absolutely cannot understand what they are saying. Ya'll, this show is so good. Claire Foy is a phenomenal actress and I have become so engrossed with Queen Elizabeth and what on earth it must be like to try and be a wife and mother and woman while also being the head of a nation. What a difficult task and she has done and is doing it with such elegance and grace. It is fascinating and I now want to soak up all I can about the royal family.

The 2017 Christian Reading Challenge. DJ put me up to this and I both love it and hate it. Love it? Well, because I really, really love to read. Hate it? Because I just want to read what is easy or fun or peaks my interest and doing this challenge with DJ means that I am going to have to read some things that I don't necessarily care about. I even tried to pick topics that would be difficult or stretching for me because I truly do want to be stretched and educated. We each picked 6 books to read, one for each month of the year and we will read & discuss them together. DJ's topics cover racial issues, world leaders, classics, humor and recommendations from friends and book lists, whereas mine cover WWII, business, suffering, history, the reformation, and a theological viewpoint that I disagree with. DJ got January so we are currently reading The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander, and it is a weighty, complex and sorrowful read. It has been incredibly eye opening and challenging and confusing and I admit that I am only beginning to unearth the difficult issues at stake within the African American community and the problematic reality of mass incarceration. I don't even know where to begin with articulating any of it, but my mind has not shut down since starting the book. We watched 13th as a supplement to our read and I have heard great things about Just Mercy, too; a book I hope to read soon in order to continue uncovering these issues I have never before known or considered.

 

Staying at home. In general, I love and am filled with gratitude for the opportunity to stay at home with my boys. But, for the purpose of this post, I am being more literal. Like, actually staying at the house. Me and the boys have just been home a lot lately which is kind of new and different for a momma like me who typically tends to stay busy. Admittedly, this has been hard. I have felt kind of cooped up and the more time at home with just me and the kids inevitably means more concentrated time on intentionally training, discipling, teaching, guiding, encouraging, playing and disciplining my boys. It's so good. But also so hard. Being a mom is no joke and there are so many days that I feel depleted and discouraged. But a lot of time at home has been so, so good for my boys. I have seen a lot of fruit in our lives as the result of not being constantly on the go. I have been given a number of opportunities to engage and pour out in ways that may have been missed if our schedule had been more full. And so, I am growing to value a lot of time at home & simplicity in our schedule. But seriously. I'm also going a little stir crazy so let's hang out, okay? 

Hiking! Did you guys know that you could do this in Texas? Because I didn't. We took the boys hiking at Beaver's Bend State Park in Broken Bow, OK in December and loved it so much that I came home determined to do it more often. I am convinced it is one of the very best things for my boys, to be out in nature with the freedom to explore and discover and throw rocks to their little hearts content. And apparently, Dallas has a ton of natural trails so it is my aim to go a lot this year. A lot. Friends welcome, so come on. 

Torie Lin Fitness. I used to work out in community and that was awesome. Friends and fitness should always go together. But then my workout buddy moved away, and then I moved away, and then working out with friends stopped altogether. Overtime, my work out routine looked like laughing in the face of something too challenging and choosing an easier set instead. Oh, and then following it up with chocolate for breakfast. It was getting a tad pathetic. I was losing muscle and gaining cellulite and getting out of breath when I walked up the stairs. Hello, that is just sad. And then in January, my sweet friend blessed me with a month long challenge program called Strong Her by Torie Lin Fitness and it has been awesome. She creates all the work outs for me (plus eating plans, plus devotionals, plus so much more) and wouldn't you know it, I am actually doing it and feeling it and getting my muscles back. Amen for that.

Lastly, it should never go unnoticed that I love coffee and sweatpants. So much. Too much.


Off to brew a cup,
courtney

Resolutiony things

At the end of every year, when me and DJ take the Christmas decorations down, we always stop to make a list of the things we hope and pray the Lord will do over the course of the next year. We fold them up, put them in our stockings, and pack them away in the attic until the next year when we take them out and see if and how the Lord's provision and works matched our hopes and dreams. It's a fun little tradition we do and a way to document all that the Lord has done. This year I noticed that my "hopes and dreams" were less hopey and dreamy and were more like the typical, first world, American new year's resolutions that everyone seems to have. There's nothing romantic about them and they are fairly average which feels a little boring and traditional, both of which I am learning that I am! But still, they are the things that I hope are accomplished in my life this year so I thought I would share anyway. This year, I wrote down things like:

• Eat healthy. BORING. Ya'll, I love potatoes and bread and my favorite food group is fat. As in, I literally drink heavy cream straight from the carton, it's just that delicious. Me and DJ love second dinner and there's nothing like putting the kids to bed and staying up late to eat a pint of ice cream together. Cream. Sauce. Dips. Anything heavy or starchy or fried or chocolately. Yes please. And yet, I am learning that I can no longer eat whatever I want at the ripe old age of 32 and I suppose I should maybe start eating better. Not because I am worried about my weight, but because I have this new friend name cellulite who has barged her way straight into my life with a vengeance. And by my life, I obviously mean my thighs.
• Love my phone less. Let's be honest; I think this has been on my list since the invention of the iPhone. It is seriously so hard for me.  I created a list of phone boundaries for myself to follow in 2014 and then started to implement them over a year later because I'm just that good at goals, ya'll. I blogged about it here, and due to a growing annoyance with social media and hating the way it pulls me away from my family, I am finally, finally starting to love my phone just a little bit less. I have hardly been on social media at all in the past month and it has been so great. I may not know what's going on in the world or in your life, but my mind feels less cluttered and my heart feels more full and I am glad for the little social media break. I am sure I will be pulled back in soon enough though, so I will see you all there when I do. 
• Research education. Moses just turned 4, but the education question is a huge stresser for me. In a makes me hyperventilate while my pits sweat through my shirt kind of way. I know we have time to decide, but I also know my tendency to ignore things that overwhelm me and to rush into decisions that I am not happy with because I wanted to avoid making them in the first place. Here's a shocking confession: I am currently more drawn to home school than any other option. Say whaaaa? I didn't knew I had it in me! But I get more and more excited with every little bit I learn and it leaves me excited to further explore that option. Obviously me and DJ have a lot of research to do and will make the decision together, but that is where my own heart has been leaning and I just never would have thought it. Eat healthy. Consider home school. I am just full of surprises these days.
• Have all the babies. Birth them. Adopt them. Love them. Okay, so maybe this is a tad ambitious to accomplish in the course of one year, but a girl can dream, eh?
• Take myself less seriously. Perfectionism is a beast. I want to better understand freedom and grace and to give myself permission to fail. I don't want to be so beat up and burned out by struggles and mistakes and I want to shrug and laugh it off and then keep on going without so much fear of how I am screwing up. This is so contrary to how I am wired but it's a gift that's been given to me by God so I want to learn to embrace it. Tips appreciated.

So you see? Nothing fancy or even fun really. Rather typical. But my hopes and dreams nonetheless and we'll see how I fare. Tell me... what are yours?!