On Being Girly Part Deux

Last month I wrote about my thoughts and insecurities on being girly. You know, things I've observed and wanted to grow in and what not. Through that post, I had so many fun recommendations of girly tips and things to try, and even had one sweet friend personally mail me some of her favorite products. Such happy mail! It was pretty much the funnest and as I have branched out on things in Girly Land these past 6 weeks, I thought I would post an update on the things I have loved.

First things first: food. Let's be honest. We eat pretty healthy at home, but when we go out, I'm just not going to order a salad. Nope. Not gonna do it. I just can't, ya'll. Restaurants fix things the best so when I go out, I'm gonna go all the way. Go big or go home, right? So chicken fried steak, here I come. And I've decided that I won't even feel guilty about it. I'm also going to keep on drinking my coffee. The dentist told me that it stains the UNDERNEATH of your teeth, not even the front where people see, so hello, this is obvious. What you can't see won't hurt you, so I will consume all of the coffee. If there's anything me and DJ do right, it's food, as exhibited here when we had pie for breakfast. No regrets, just love and calories.

Hair. I've tried lots of hair products this month and the reality is this. My hair is still just a crazy hot mess in the back and a weird mix of straight and wavy up front. It is what it is. I am still trying to figure out what to do about this, but in the meantime, I am learning to embrace the au naturale look and just go with what God gave me. I just can't waste my precious down time on all this hair fixing so I've spritzed and lathered with a few simple things and then off I go. Here are the few things I have tried: Chi Silk Infusion for softness and shine, Redken Curvaceous for curl definition and frizz control, and Not Your Mother's Beach Babe Texturizing Sea Salt Spray to bring out my natural waves. Also, for days that I am feeling especially fancy I use the Bed Head Curlipops wand and I love, love, love it. I'm not saying I actually know how to use it. See how those curls are going in the same direction? I don't think that's right. The plus is that DJ doesn't care about which direction hair should curl, nor does he know the difference anyway, and that's really all that matters, right?! The point is that I'm trying. And I have the burn marks on my arm to show it.

(Also, lest you think I just sit around and take selfies like the young folk, I'll have you know that I took this picture for my friend Julie to ask her how in the heck I am supposed to make those left side curls go the other way. Friendship at it's finest.)

Power Colors. My friend Grace, who is pretty much the trendiest girl I know, sadly informed me that my power colors are lavender and light blue, which made me want to cry because I just can't do pastels. So, blacks and grays and whites it's been which is fine and classic and never goes out of style. As if I know anything about style. I did give Grace's suggestion a try one day, though, when I tested out a light periwinkle toenail polish, and I have to say that she was right. I loved it more than I thought I would. Shout out to my girl who knows what's up. Here's a picture in the only light blue shirt I own, and it's basically made out of plastic which means it ALWAYS needs ironed so I never wear it. So cheers to the one time I wore my power color!

Clothes. Okay, I really want to do a capsule wardrobe or have Stitch Fix be my stylist, but a girl can only have so much rattling change at one time, so I haven't spent much focus here. In the meantime, I did buy all the plaid and all the button up shirts that Target had to offer over the course of the winter season so I basically look the exact same every single day. I also found out about Alison Lumbatis over at Get Your Pretty On and she has a phenomenal Capsule Wardrobe Guide that I subscribed to. It tells you EXACTLY what to buy to get it done and is a perfect How To for a black and white Type A like me. But alas, for a girl who basically always wants to be pregnant, it might not be the best time to invest in clothes. Although I did get a pair of jeans from Gap because I had a gift card and they were 50% off which made them free. You guys! Gap jeans! Nobody told me!! They fit perfectly and do not stretch out by the end of the day, or by the end of the month for that matter, which I know because I never wash my jeans. I have spent the past ten years spending no more than $20 dollars on jeans which basically means they showed my butt crack every time I leaned forward and they thinned out and ripped within months. I have tasted the goodness of good quality blue jean and I will never go back. Lastly, I also bought a pair of booties from Amazon that I adore more than I thought I would. They make me feel trendy even when I am not. PS: Who buys boots from Amazon? Apparently me. Here is one of the many plaid shirts that defined my entire winter wardrobe. Also, see my section on Accessories for a link to those super fun earrings.

Perfume. I think I mentioned in my last post that DJ surprised me with my own brand new bottle of real perfume! Never in my life have I splurged on something so fancy, so nice, so womanly! Perfume makes me feel like my mom and since I am a mom now, I figured I should have some. He got me a bottle of BVLGARI Coral and now I smell like flowers instead of the dirt and pee and toot stench I pick up from my kids. Hooray!

Skin. Ya'll, I went to Lush and splurged. I never, ever, ever spend money on myself and I made myself do it and it was fun! You know I am cheap, so I am not sure if I will ever do it again, and I also secretly am not sure if I can really tell much of a difference anyway, but for now I am enjoying the Dark Angels black sugar and charcoal exfoliate and Imperials moisturizer for my face. I also got the Tea Tree Water toner, but this is nothing to write home about it as I am almost certain it does basically nothing except make my face feel wet and drippy, which gross. For my hands, I am super loving the Lemony Flutter cuticle butter and Handy Guru lotion. I basically never wash my face, so for the past six weeks it has been the most fun to put the boys to bed and practically run to my bathroom to wash the day off my face before I head downstairs to enjoy the evening with my man. So clean and so fresh! Who knew a washed face could make such a difference? For the record, this one IS a selfie and you're welcome.

Accessories. Ya'll, my friend Andrea got me these super cute leather earrings that I LOVED (see the picture above under section: Clothes). And then I went to Chicago and lost one and basically wanted to cry. So next on my list is to replace them because just look at how fun they are. Also, my eyesight basically deteriorated and my glasses were doing zilch for my vision so I decided to get new ones and Warby Parker became my new BFF. I got the Rose and Oliver frames because our insurance is amazing and fully covered both pairs. BOTH. Holla! I never knew that glasses could be so fun.

So there you have it. I spent all my Christmas money and tried lots of girly things and that's my report. My overall analysis is that I'm pretty low maintenance, casual, and cheap and want to find a way to be trendy that doesn't require any work and will highlight the quirks God gave me. If it's not simple, I'm not going to do it. If it's expensive, I might buy it once, but probably never again. Unless they are Gap jeans. I am sold for life.

I have been having fun though, so I'm still looking to you to send me a list of your favorite products.... My birthday's coming up so I'll have a new stash of cash to splurge with soon.

xoxo,
courtney

On being girly

I've never felt very good at being girly. Let me get it out of the way: I am not talking about feminism or womanhood or anything remotely deep in nature. No, no. It is just as surfaced as it sounds. I really am just talking about being girly. Like, looking cute and stuff. Because in my head, being girly means looking super stylish and put together (even on a top knot and sweatpants kind of day), always smelling good, accessorizing, and being awesome at decor with a super cute Pinterest home....none of which I am or have.

Admittedly, I have been observing girls since college, both with the jealousy of not quite fitting in as well as adamant refusal to follow the unspoken rules of being girly. Things like:

• Always ordering salads at restaurants. I vehemently refuse. Why would I order leaves when everything else tastes so dang good, not to mention that the restaurant can make all the heavy, fatty, fried foods a bajillion times better than I ever could so that is precisely the place I want to eat them. So instead, I order my chicken fried steak smothered in gravy and I look like a heifer compared to my friends and I have refused to order a black bean burger when I could get mine all beefy and delicious and smothered in bacon and cheese.

• Not drinking through a straw to avoid getting upper lip wrinkles, all the while drinking through a straw so that coffee won't stain my teeth. This is quite the contradiction, is it not? Whatever is a girl to do?! My solution to this is obvious. Coffee through an IV drip because duh.

• Not rubbing my eyes because wrinkles. Except have you ever rubbed your eyes after having contacts glued to them for the past 16 hours? It's a bit orgasmic if I dare say so myself and I am learning that I need to stop for the sake of old age and wrinkles and being girly and I feel a genuine tension at the thought of giving this one up. Orgasmic I tell you!

Except here's the thing. It seems like girls have been on to something this whole time. Because somewhere along the way I have found myself in my thirties and all of a sudden these things matter and make a difference and I am so far behind and WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THESE SEEMINGLY STUPID RULES HAD REASON BEHIND THEM?! Because I kept eating my chicken fried steak and now I have the cellulite to show it. And I feel like crap afterwards and end up wishing I had ordered the salad after all. And then I became a mom and drank all the coffee and apparently yellow teeth are the only accessory I have to don. And eye wrinkles! Last year I discovered that mine literally connect to my smile lines, which basically just creates one large fold going down the side of my face, except it's on both sides and and hello, that's a whole lot of wrinkle. Although I still struggle with this one, because rubbing my eyes is quite possibly one of the best feelings in the world, and then there is the fact that if you look at a single picture of me in high school, my eyes are blank and my smile is fake and I look lost and confused and sad and there may not be a single line on my face but neither is there any joy. So I may have crows feet and laugh lines but they are evidence of so much fun and laughter and life and that's not something I'm sure I want to trade.

So, back to being girly. I suddenly want in the club. And I need your help because I don't have a clue. Also, I am cheap. I find it hard to be girly when I could spend $80 dollars on perfume or a single pair of trendy shoes, or spend that same amount at Target and get 6 shirts. I can be a real cheapo and therein lies a debaucle. Also, I really, really do want to learn to take better care of myself in this regard and yet I want to do so without caring too much about what I look like or smell like or decorate with. I want to take care of my skin and my hair and my body without putting too much weight on my outward appearance. That is also a debaucle, because I am saying that I want help looking girly all the while not wanting to care too much about these things that are truly temporary and wasting away. I'm not entirely sure that's possible.

So there you have it. And here are the places I want your tips:

• My hair. I have only ever known how to straighten it or wear it in a pony tail. That is as fancy as it gets over here, ya'll. And you want to know something top secret? Every time I curl it, I feel like a fraud. Like someone who thinks they know what they are doing but clearly doesn't and the joke's on her. I've stopped fixing my hair every day because pregnancy and nursing basically murdered it and also, my down time is about a nanosecond long and I'll be damned if I spend that sweet time blow drying my hair. So I have been letting it air dry and I really am trying to like it, but I just don't. It's curly in the back in a rats nest kind of way and straight and stringy in the front. What is that? So I need your help on products and how to fix it and what to do that takes literally zero time and effort and still comes out looking good. And for the rare occasions that I fix it, I need help on knowing what to do. Because straightening it is killing it and I just can't do it anymore. Tutorials don't work, so be prepared to give me hands on help. Lucky you! Oh, and news flash: I've decided to grow out my bangs. If there was ever a test of perseverance, this is it. Wish me luck and send me all your cute solutions for awkward bang lengths.

• Power Colors! Have ya'll heard about this? It's the colors and tones that look best on you and apparently make you come alive and once you discover them you'll never go back. Ya'll I need this in my life. I used to be all about the bright colors. And then in 2012, we lost two babies and my wardrobe died right alongside them. I've been wearing greys and blacks and charcoals ever since and I haven't turned back. But, I want a color that makes me look alive! And brings out the natural colors of my skin and eyes and lips because hello, I just think that sounds fun. Except, someone needs to help a sister out because when I try to take the online test to discover my power color, it expects me to know my skin tone and whether I look better in silver or gold and what colors make me look washed out and hello, if I knew the answers to these questions I wouldn't need help being girly now would I? So can someone just make my life easier and tell me what my power color is and then go buy all the clothes that make me pop?!

• Speaking of new clothes, capsule wardrobes and Stitch Fix are things I want but are too cheap to do. I really, really want to simplify my wardrobe. Let's be honest, I basically live 98% of my life in sweatpants and fuzzy socks and a hoodie anyway. I know, DJ is so lucky. But in order to simplify my wardrobe, I first need to buy all the essentials and they should be good quality, made to last, and as we have already established... I am cheap. And then there are trendy clothes, meshed with the fact that I am always about 3 years behind whatever is in style and am not typically gutsy or confident enough to wear what is currently in. So, I have too many clothes and none of them are in style, and someone help me here please. Any by help me, I just mean go buy the clothes for me. You can be my Stitch Fix stylist for free because that is what I am willing to pay. Just kidding. Kind of.

• Perfume! Except just kidding. I just put this one in here to give my husband the shout out he deserves. Because this year I decided that I wanted to smell nice. Like, actually smell nice with real perfume and everything and not just $12 lotion from Bath & Body Works because I am too stinking (literally) cheap to buy anything else. So I went to Sephora and checked out the perfume section except whoa, that is overwhelming and how is a girl supposed to choose from 900 gazillion bottles? But I took home a sample and I really liked it but then I ran out and because I am cheap, I didn't want to buy the real bottle. And then yesterday afternoon the doorbell rang and UPS had dropped off a pressie with my name on it. I opened it up and low and behold, DJ had bought me the perfume that he knew I wanted but would never buy. Because he loves me. Or maybe because he thinks I stink. But either way I have perfume now and that is a win.

• Hand cream! Yall, this weather. My hands are so dry and cracked and look like an old lady's. I want some kind of thick, delicious smelling hand cream that feels good for hours after it's been applied. Suggestions please.  

• Face things. Confession: I never wash my face. Unless you count using body wash when I shower which hardly counts at all. I sleep with make up on and it doesn't even gross me out. But I am getting old as is evidenced by wrinkles and the fact that my eyes are super puffy in the morning and I assume it's about time I start taking care of my face, eh? My skin is sensitive so I am curious about face wash and astringent and quality lotion. Oh and face masks! My new favorite thing. Because my almost brother in law bought me a coffee ground face mask from Lush and I made DJ do it with me for a date night and it was heavenly. I need more of these things in my life. What are your go to items?

If there is anything being a mom has made me want, aside from boys who grow up into God fearing men, it is to be pampered. It is all I want now. This year for my birthday I want to spend all my time and all my money on manicures and pedicures and a makeover and a Chinese foot massage and a power color appointment and someone telling me what hair and make up and skin care products to get and how to use them. That is my dream, and you are welcome to join me.

Alright, ya'll. Make me a woman!

Dating when date nights are slim

DJ and I have always tried to be intentional about dating. When we first got together back in 2005, one of our very first dates was to create a date box. It was all kinds of classy, what with it being decorated with feathers and mermaid stickers and monster trucks and all. We filled it up with all the fun and free kind of dates that us two poor college kids could muster up and every Monday night during our senior year of college we would draw a date and then off we would go, broke yet blissful, and falling in love along the way. We bungee jumped and played campus golf and went bowling and looked at stars and just had the time of our lives.

Then we got married and dating stayed easy. Looking back, how could it not?! We were young and childless and had all the time in the world! Twenty something things like staying out late and crowds and loud music didn't yet bother me so we went to concerts and out for fancy dinners and had weekend long hotel stays because did I mention that we were rich?! We were two young professionals with full time jobs! And those jobs may have been in ministry, which everyone knows (does not) pay the big bucks, but even two ministry jobs feels quite millionareish when compared to the one income family we now are, much less the zero income situation we just recently came out of. Rich, I tell ya! We went to the movies every Friday and enjoyed as many dates as we wanted because of all that time on our hands and all that money in our pockets.

Fast forward to 2014 when Moses was brand new home and we happily put date nights on hold for this little boy who needed time to adjust and to learn to trust us, much less anyone else we may have left him with. We spent months cultivating his relationships with family and friends so that when the time came for us to go out again, he would be good and ready, secure and fully trusting that we would come back for him. That work paid off, because five months later we had our first date again where we went to BRUNCH and A MOVIE and out for A LONG CAR DRIVE and oh my goodness, it was all my favorite things wrapped up in a 6 hour slice of heaven and so many thanks to Amy for loving and watching our boy because and it went well and we all survived. It was grand. But... it was over too short and back to another long stretch of no dates and did I mention that I adore being a momma but sometimes this season of life can bring many dateless days. Those weekly spur of the moment date nights were becoming a thing of the past that would now require much more planning to happen. Worth it, of course, but just not as easy as it once was.

So then it was 2015 and I got pregnant and dates were rare and I was feeling it. The babysitting situation can be so hard. We don't live near family (yet! but soon!), are not in love with the idea of having to pay for both a date AND a babysitter, because hello-- money, and let's be honest: when it comes to the free kind of best friend babysitters, well.... sometimes they offer, and sometimes we ask, but the friends we would trust to watch our kids are the very ones we want to go on double dates with so that's quite the debacle, is it not?! All of this coupled with a newborn and I started to get the idea that it might be a really long time before those weekly date nights were our reality once again.

So....for Christmas that year, I pulled out our good ole date box from 2005 and filled it with 52 free (or almost free) and little to no planning At Home Date Nights to do the following year. The idea was that we would have one date night a week and that each month would have dates that focused on food, entertainment, conversation and intimacy to ensure that our date life stayed holistic and well rounded, even if from home. Well, let's just be real and say that I was a tad overzealous. 52 date nights with a newborn? I must be crazy. I think I was in bed by 8:00 every night until May and even my sad attempts to stay up and watch a simple TV show with DJ would have me asleep on the couch within 5 minutes of it's start. So 52 date nights did not happen. I'm not sure that 15 even did. No biggie. Because there is real life and there are babies and much needed sleep and grace and we are trying again this year.

We learned from our reality that 52 dates was not as easy to accomplish as I had hoped. So this year, we decided to cut it in half; we went through the pile and we each picked our 12 favorite dates. We put them in a mug on the stove so that the topic of date night is always seen and visible and we decided that Thursdays would be our day. Last Thursday, we drew a date. We took note of any money, shopping or planning that would need to be done and this Thursday we'll date away. Next Thursday we draw again. The following Thursday, we'll get our date on. And so on and so forth. We are trying to date once again.

It's only January, but so far this year we are starting off strong. And, I may be biased, but I think our dates are super fun. And in case you're in a season of slim to none dating and need some fun and mostly free ideas at home, I thought I would share ours from this year. Minus the intimacy ones. You're on your own there, my friend. (Unless you're a girl and you really want ideas, then text me. But let's stay off the internet for that. For real.)

And now, drumroll please.... our dates for 2017:

• Power outage date night--- no lights or technology; just candles & conversation
• Grill out and chill out
• Wine and Cheese Night
• Movie Night- Courtney's pick
• Work on a home improvement project together
• Make a fancy dinner together
• Date Night Jenga with each block having a Truth or Dare prompt
• Hot chocolate by the fire
• All About Us Charades game
• Pizza and a movie in bed
• Funny YouTube videos of people pranking and scaring each other
• Puzzle and Dessert Night
• Video Game Marathon
• Iron Chef Challenge- pick one ingredient and incorporate it into every dish
• Culture Night- make dinner (or order take out) from a different country and then watch a movie or documentary from that corner of the world
• Bookstore Date at Home- hot drinks, yummy appetizers and books and magazines and quiet and reading
• Christmas in July- drink hot chocolate, get each other one gift each, and watch a Christmas movie
• Fondue Night
• Movie Night- DJ's pick
• Monday Night football complete with wings and junk food 

We actually weeded out a lot of our conversation dates for the sake of Thursday nights. We have coffee dates every Saturday and Sunday morning and we like to go on long drives, so we shifted our talking dates to those times; things like setting goals, re-evaluating our marriage and parenting, talking about politics, discussing hard & confusing theological matters, etc. Hence the reason why the majority of our Thursday dates are now focused on fun and food. We have a bunch more on the back burner too, but these are just the ones we picked for this year. And, if I can sneak a few more in, I totally will and you better believe it will be things like a) Charcuterie Night, because yum and b) Teeth Bleaching Night because we love coffee too much and also, we are hot like that and c) Play a practical joke on Moses because we are hilarious and awesome and probably sending him straight to the therapy couch.


So there you have it. Happy dating!

The Good Things In Life II

A while ago, I posted about the things I was loving in life, all of which included food because duh. Food is still pretty much my favorite as evidenced by the fact that a) I cannot stop thinking about the sweet potato chip duck confit I had the other day, b) I about died when I found out there is a legit beignet shop just ten minutes down the road from me, and c) I get food anxiety any time I think I might have to skip a meal....but, I digress. Food aside, there are some other pretty great things that I have been enjoying lately that are worth talking about. Things like:

Year Up. Most people know that I genuinely loved the four months that DJ was unemployed last year. Extra time with my favorite person? Help with the kids? Family time all day every day? Yes please. But I am equally happy to report that DJ started a new job just before Christmas and this place is awesome, ya'll. He is the Site Operations Manager for Year Up, a non profit that exists to empower low income young adults to go from poverty to professional careers in a single year. We were impressed with the organization while he interviewed, and we have only become more and more impressed with all that he has seen and learned since joining their team a little over a month ago. DJ was offered a few different jobs while unemployed and with each one, we felt led to take a risk and decline, believing that God had something else in store. Year Up was the provision we were believing for and we are beyond excited for him to be a part of all that they are doing in the community. This organization is legit and is doing a powerful, incredible work. What a blessing it has been to our little family so far. Plus, DJ has to wear a suit and tie to work and dang... smokin' hot, I tell ya.

The Crown. Hello, have you guys seen this? First of all, I deserve a total pat on the back because I have historically not liked movies or shows that a) do not take place in this time period or b) are unrealistic. I understand that this virtually limits my TV and film viewing by 98% and how deprived this must make me in the entertainment world. But I am really, really trying to broaden my horizon in multiple areas, and I decided to give The Crown a try despite the fact that I almost always have to watch British television with the subtitles on because I absolutely cannot understand what they are saying. Ya'll, this show is so good. Claire Foy is a phenomenal actress and I have become so engrossed with Queen Elizabeth and what on earth it must be like to try and be a wife and mother and woman while also being the head of a nation. What a difficult task and she has done and is doing it with such elegance and grace. It is fascinating and I now want to soak up all I can about the royal family.

The 2017 Christian Reading Challenge. DJ put me up to this and I both love it and hate it. Love it? Well, because I really, really love to read. Hate it? Because I just want to read what is easy or fun or peaks my interest and doing this challenge with DJ means that I am going to have to read some things that I don't necessarily care about. I even tried to pick topics that would be difficult or stretching for me because I truly do want to be stretched and educated. We each picked 6 books to read, one for each month of the year and we will read & discuss them together. DJ's topics cover racial issues, world leaders, classics, humor and recommendations from friends and book lists, whereas mine cover WWII, business, suffering, history, the reformation, and a theological viewpoint that I disagree with. DJ got January so we are currently reading The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander, and it is a weighty, complex and sorrowful read. It has been incredibly eye opening and challenging and confusing and I admit that I am only beginning to unearth the difficult issues at stake within the African American community and the problematic reality of mass incarceration. I don't even know where to begin with articulating any of it, but my mind has not shut down since starting the book. We watched 13th as a supplement to our read and I have heard great things about Just Mercy, too; a book I hope to read soon in order to continue uncovering these issues I have never before known or considered.

 

Staying at home. In general, I love and am filled with gratitude for the opportunity to stay at home with my boys. But, for the purpose of this post, I am being more literal. Like, actually staying at the house. Me and the boys have just been home a lot lately which is kind of new and different for a momma like me who typically tends to stay busy. Admittedly, this has been hard. I have felt kind of cooped up and the more time at home with just me and the kids inevitably means more concentrated time on intentionally training, discipling, teaching, guiding, encouraging, playing and disciplining my boys. It's so good. But also so hard. Being a mom is no joke and there are so many days that I feel depleted and discouraged. But a lot of time at home has been so, so good for my boys. I have seen a lot of fruit in our lives as the result of not being constantly on the go. I have been given a number of opportunities to engage and pour out in ways that may have been missed if our schedule had been more full. And so, I am growing to value a lot of time at home & simplicity in our schedule. But seriously. I'm also going a little stir crazy so let's hang out, okay? 

Hiking! Did you guys know that you could do this in Texas? Because I didn't. We took the boys hiking at Beaver's Bend State Park in Broken Bow, OK in December and loved it so much that I came home determined to do it more often. I am convinced it is one of the very best things for my boys, to be out in nature with the freedom to explore and discover and throw rocks to their little hearts content. And apparently, Dallas has a ton of natural trails so it is my aim to go a lot this year. A lot. Friends welcome, so come on. 

Torie Lin Fitness. I used to work out in community and that was awesome. Friends and fitness should always go together. But then my workout buddy moved away, and then I moved away, and then working out with friends stopped altogether. Overtime, my work out routine looked like laughing in the face of something too challenging and choosing an easier set instead. Oh, and then following it up with chocolate for breakfast. It was getting a tad pathetic. I was losing muscle and gaining cellulite and getting out of breath when I walked up the stairs. Hello, that is just sad. And then in January, my sweet friend blessed me with a month long challenge program called Strong Her by Torie Lin Fitness and it has been awesome. She creates all the work outs for me (plus eating plans, plus devotionals, plus so much more) and wouldn't you know it, I am actually doing it and feeling it and getting my muscles back. Amen for that.

Lastly, it should never go unnoticed that I love coffee and sweatpants. So much. Too much.


Off to brew a cup,
courtney

Resolutiony things

At the end of every year, when me and DJ take the Christmas decorations down, we always stop to make a list of the things we hope and pray the Lord will do over the course of the next year. We fold them up, put them in our stockings, and pack them away in the attic until the next year when we take them out and see if and how the Lord's provision and works matched our hopes and dreams. It's a fun little tradition we do and a way to document all that the Lord has done. This year I noticed that my "hopes and dreams" were less hopey and dreamy and were more like the typical, first world, American new year's resolutions that everyone seems to have. There's nothing romantic about them and they are fairly average which feels a little boring and traditional, both of which I am learning that I am! But still, they are the things that I hope are accomplished in my life this year so I thought I would share anyway. This year, I wrote down things like:

• Eat healthy. BORING. Ya'll, I love potatoes and bread and my favorite food group is fat. As in, I literally drink heavy cream straight from the carton, it's just that delicious. Me and DJ love second dinner and there's nothing like putting the kids to bed and staying up late to eat a pint of ice cream together. Cream. Sauce. Dips. Anything heavy or starchy or fried or chocolately. Yes please. And yet, I am learning that I can no longer eat whatever I want at the ripe old age of 32 and I suppose I should maybe start eating better. Not because I am worried about my weight, but because I have this new friend name cellulite who has barged her way straight into my life with a vengeance. And by my life, I obviously mean my thighs.
• Love my phone less. Let's be honest; I think this has been on my list since the invention of the iPhone. It is seriously so hard for me.  I created a list of phone boundaries for myself to follow in 2014 and then started to implement them over a year later because I'm just that good at goals, ya'll. I blogged about it here, and due to a growing annoyance with social media and hating the way it pulls me away from my family, I am finally, finally starting to love my phone just a little bit less. I have hardly been on social media at all in the past month and it has been so great. I may not know what's going on in the world or in your life, but my mind feels less cluttered and my heart feels more full and I am glad for the little social media break. I am sure I will be pulled back in soon enough though, so I will see you all there when I do. 
• Research education. Moses just turned 4, but the education question is a huge stresser for me. In a makes me hyperventilate while my pits sweat through my shirt kind of way. I know we have time to decide, but I also know my tendency to ignore things that overwhelm me and to rush into decisions that I am not happy with because I wanted to avoid making them in the first place. Here's a shocking confession: I am currently more drawn to home school than any other option. Say whaaaa? I didn't knew I had it in me! But I get more and more excited with every little bit I learn and it leaves me excited to further explore that option. Obviously me and DJ have a lot of research to do and will make the decision together, but that is where my own heart has been leaning and I just never would have thought it. Eat healthy. Consider home school. I am just full of surprises these days.
• Have all the babies. Birth them. Adopt them. Love them. Okay, so maybe this is a tad ambitious to accomplish in the course of one year, but a girl can dream, eh?
• Take myself less seriously. Perfectionism is a beast. I want to better understand freedom and grace and to give myself permission to fail. I don't want to be so beat up and burned out by struggles and mistakes and I want to shrug and laugh it off and then keep on going without so much fear of how I am screwing up. This is so contrary to how I am wired but it's a gift that's been given to me by God so I want to learn to embrace it. Tips appreciated.

So you see? Nothing fancy or even fun really. Rather typical. But my hopes and dreams nonetheless and we'll see how I fare. Tell me... what are yours?!

Advent

Advent starts on Sunday and I could not be more excited about the holiday season. All of it. Decorating the tree while listening to Folk Angel. Hot chocolate and Christmas lights and long drives. Home Alone and Elf and Die Hard. And woven through it all, teaching our boy the tradition of Advent as we gather together each night to celebrate who Jesus is and the beauty of His name.

Before Moses came home, I began looking through family Advent studies and just couldn't find one that matched what I was looking for. I wanted one that focused on the names of Jesus while at the same time had simple activities to keep my little one engaged and involved. I looked and found some things but never quite what I was looking for. Some focused solely on the names of Jesus while others focused solely on events and activities. Some required my money and my mad Pinterest skills, neither of which I felt excited about or capable of. And so, I decided to just come up with my own. That first year though? Moses didn't speak English so we didn't do anything more than settle into our new life as a family of three and pour our hearts and souls into helping our little one adjust. Then the next year happened. I planned our little study and hung it in Moses' room and we started off strong. But then Jones was born, I thought I was dying from some still unidentified illness, and I had to ship Moses off to my mom's for days on end while I recovered and cared for our newborn. So, it didn't happen again and the Advent chain hung in Moses' room until just 5 days ago when I finally took it down. But this year? This year I am determined and ready to celebrate Advent with my people.

Before I say more... two little shout outs. Funnily enough, this year an Advent study did come out that is right along the lines of what I was looking for all along. Like, almost identical. It's called Sacred Holidays and their little gem of a study focuses on the attributes of God for the entire month leading up to Christmas. It's simple, intentional, and fun and full of great devotions for your family. I actually contributed to their study this year and think the work they are doing is great. Unfortunately, the Family Study is already sold out this year, but be sure to check them out next Christmas. And second, 100 Days With Jesus over on Instagram. They study the names of Jesus for the 100 days leading up to Christmas and their feed greatly inspired my own little amateur endeavor. Both of these studies are great and should be considered if you are looking for ways to celebrate Advent with your family!

Below is my own little homemade version of the things I wanted to teach Moses about Jesus this Christmas season. Though it is written with my family in mind (and therefore includes some resources that we own and outings to places we live near), I wanted to post it just in case you other mommas out there are looking for something similar. What's mine is yours so feel free to take it and tweak it and adapt it for your family.

Here you go:

Sunday, November 27 | Baby | Talk about babies…What are babies like? What is Jones like? Talk about how amazing it was that God came to earth as a baby; that the Savior of the whole world left His glorious throne in Heaven to be born into a broken world among animals in a barn. Then read Luke 2:8-14 and act out the story using the Little People Nativity Scene.

Monday, November 28 | Immanuel | Read Matthew 1:23. Talk about the significance of names. Donald means “World Ruler”. Courtney means “Short Nose”. Moses means “Drawn Out”. Jones means “God is Gracious.” Talk about why we chose such significant names for our boys and then talk about how Immanuel is a name that was used to describe Jesus. It means “God with us”. Talk about how Jesus came to live with and among people and how He is always with us.

Tuesday, November 29 | Carpenter | Read Mark 6:1-6. Let Moses hammer some nails into a block of wood. Talk about how Jesus was fully God, but also fully man. He was a man just like daddy. He had a job and his job was a carpenter. He built and fixed things. Talk about how it was hard for Jesus’ family and friends to recognize Him as God because they only thought of Him as an ordinary man.

Wednesday, November 30 | Healer | Read Matthew 8:14-17. Talk about how Jesus healed Peter’s mother-in-law. Talk about how Jesus has healed Moses’ itchy skin. Talk about how just like our physical bodies get sick and hurt and need to be healed, so too are our hearts sick with sin. Talk about how Jesus is the only one who can heal our sinful hearts.

Thursday, December 1 | Almighty God | God is Almighty- nothing is too hard for Him. Have DJ and Moses do a couple of strength games: arm wrestling, wrestling match, lifting contest, etc. Talk about how strong DJ is compared to Moses and then talk about how much stronger God is. He is the strongest one. Nothing is too hard for Him. Read Isaiah 59:1 (NLT) and talk about how the Lord is strong enough to save us.

Friday, December 2 | Servant | Read Philippians 2:7. Talk about what a servant is. Talk about how Jesus was both a servant and a King. Read The Servant and The King on page 286 in The Jesus Storybook Bible and then discuss ways that we can serve like Jesus.

Saturday, December 3 | Deliverer | Read Galatians 1:3-5. Deliverer means one that saves from danger or destruction. Firemen deliver people from fires. Policemen deliver people from bad guys. Doctors deliver people from sickness. Talk about how we are all in danger of death and eternal separation from God, but that Jesus died to deliver us!

Sunday, December 4 | Friend | Talk about friendship. Who are our best friends? Why do we like them? How do we spend time with them? The Bible says that God is our friend too. Read Exodus 33:11 and talk about how we can be friends with God. He wants to walk with us and talk with us and spend time with us. Read Friend of Sinners in Thoughts To Make Your Heart sing and/or John 15:13 to see the different ways that Jesus modeled friendship for us.

Monday, December 5 | Advocate | An advocate is someone who pleads on behalf of another. Show Moses pictures of when we went to court. He did not have to appear before a judge to ask for a family, because we did it for him! We went to the judge and advocated on his behalf; we fought to bring him into our family! Satan accuses us of our sin, but we do not have to appear before God because Jesus has already gone before us. Jesus advocated to the Father on our behalf and fought to bring us into His family.

Tuesday, December 6 | Indescribable Gift | Talk about all the presents Moses got for his birthday today. Have him describe his presents; what they are like and what he enjoys about them. Then read 2 Corinthians 9:15 and talk about how Jesus is the very best gift. He is so good that there are not enough words to fully describe Him!

Wednesday, December 7 | King of Kings | Talk about how a King is someone who is in charge of a whole country. Use the examples of Daddy being in charge of our family; a teacher being in charge of a class, and the President being in charge of our country. Some countries do not have Presidents, but kings who rule all the people who live there. Jesus is the King of Kings! He is in charge of every other king and of the whole world. He deserves our honor, respect, love, trust, and obedience. Read The King of all Kings on page 192 in the Jesus Storybook Bible and act it out with the Little People Nativity Scene.

Thursday, December 8 | Nazarene | Read Matthew 2:23. Look at the map and talk about where we are from. Just like Moses is Korean because he is from Korea, Jesus is called a Nazarene because he was from Nazareth. Point out Nazareth on the map and talk about what it is like there. Look at pictures online and eat pita bread and hummus as a snack.

Friday, December 9 | Light of the World | Go look at Christmas lights. Discuss John 8:12. Talk about light- how it lights up the darkness and helps us to see. Jesus is the light. He lights up the darkness of our sinful, broken world and helps us to see the Truth.

Saturday, December 10 | Everlasting God | Read Isaiah 9:6 and talk about what the word Everlasting means. Read Matthew 6:19-24 and talk about how nothing here on earth will last forever, but that Jesus alone is everlasting. Read God is Forever.

Sunday, December 11 | Living Water | Have a club soda date and watch Episode 3: The Water on Owlegories. Read John 4:7-14. Talk about how just like we cannot live without water and how it satisfies our thirst, so too can we not live without Jesus. He completely satisfies all our desires and needs!

Monday, December 12 | Bread of Life | Bring home hot chocolate and pumpkin bread from Starbucks and watch The Bread on Owlegories together as a family. Read John 6:35. Just like our physical bodies need bread (food) to live and be healthy and strong, so too do our spiritual hearts need Jesus to live.  We eat food every day to survive; we should spend time with Jesus each day too! Talk about different ways that we can spend time with Jesus throughout the day.

Tuesday, December 13 | Savior | Recap what it means that Jesus is a Deliverer and talk about how a Savior is similar; Jesus saves, or rescues, us from our sin. Talk about what sin is and why we need to be saved from it. Talk about how loving, trusting and believing in Jesus’ death and resurrection is the only way we can be saved from our sin.

Wednesday, December 14 | Intercessor | Talk about prayer; what it is, the people and things we pray for, and why we pray. Read Romans 8:34 and talk about how Jesus prays for us too!

Thursday, December 15 | Sovereign | Point out Sovereign on The Attributes Of God Poster. Talk about how God is in charge of everything and how He uses all things, even the bad things, for our good. Talk about different ways we have seen God’s sovereignty in our lives.

Friday, December 16 | Creator | Go to Holidays at the Heard. Afterwards, talk about the dinosaurs and all the things we saw on the nature trail. Read Colossians 1:16-17 and talk about how God is the creator of all things.

Saturday, December 17 | Sinless | Read 2 Corinthians 5:21. Talk about how Jesus was sinless; he was never disrespectful, never unkind, never angry for the wrong reasons. Never, not even once! Think about what it must have been like to be around Jesus who knew no sin. Talk about the great exchange and how Jesus exchanged his sinless life for our sinful ones.

Sunday, December 18 | Rock | Talk about the differences between a big rock and sand. Then read The Wise and Foolish Builders on page 191 in The Gospel Story Bible. Jesus is our support, our foundation and our refuge; talk about how we can build our lives on Him.

Monday, December 19 | Prince of Peace | Read John 14:7. Talk about what it means to be at peace. Testify to times that Lord has given us His peace that surpasses all understanding.

Tuesday, December 20 | Comforter | Read John 14:16. Talk about the things that comfort us and how Jesus is the one true Comforter. Read Comforter on page 142 of Thoughts To Make Your Heart Sing.

Wednesday, December 21 | Man of Sorrows | Read Isaiah 53:3. Talk about what it means that Jesus was a man of sorrows and why he was well acquatinted with sadness and grief. He knows what it means when we feel disappointed and sad. He understands when we feel that way and He can comfort us in our sorrow.

Thursday, December 22 | Consuming Fire | Turn on the fireplace and read Hebrews 12:29. Talk about times God appeared as a fire in scripture (Moses & the burning bush, leading the Israelites by a pillar of fire, etc). Watch The Fire on Owlegories.

Friday, December 23 | Exact Representation | Read Hebrews 1:1-3. Talk about how God the Father is a spirit; we can not see Him but we can look to Jesus to know what He is like. Jesus is all of God poured into flesh. He is the exact and perfect representation of who God is.

Saturday, December 24 | Gentle | Read Matthew 11:29. Talk about what it means that Jesus is gentle. Talk about times that Momma and Daddy have been gentle, and times that we have fallen short. Talk about how Jesus is perfectly gentle with us all of the time. He is strong but never rough.  He is in charge, but never mean. He tells the truth, but is never ugly about it. He is kind and never harsh.

Sunday, December 25 | JESUS’ BIRTHDAY!

Much love and happy Adventing,
courtney

The Good Things In Life

Just a little post about some of the things that have brought me joy as of late....

Unemployment. Yes, I am being serious and no, I am not joking. I am sure that all six of you who read this little blog know that DJ was laid off in August. Let's be honest, the whole things was really all my fault. About a week earlier I had casually mentioned to DJ that it had been a really long time since we had been in a season where we really needed to trust in God; I was missing the nearness and peace and deepened trust that He brings in those seasons. Enter unemployment....You're welcome, DJ. But honestly, this season has been so good and so sweet. I truly believe that the Lord was preparing us for it and He gave us the peace and trust we needed to not only accept the news, but to meet it with excitement. Don't get me wrong; there are days of anxiety and fear and today happens to be one of them. But for the most part, we have looked back with gratitude on all the ways the Lord grew DJ in his last role, have found peace in who He is and what He promises in the unknown, and are looking ahead with excitement to see where He brings us next. The job search started off strong. DJ had three solid leads and received two job offers, both of which we decided to decline because they just weren't the right fits for our family in this season. Early on DJ had wondered if we would grow in trust and faith not because he was laid off, but because we would intentionally prolong unemployment and decline job offers all in blind faith that those weren't the things God had for us. And it is precisely there that we find ourselves. No leads this week. No interviews set up. Total uncertainty of what lies ahead. And yet, it is only because of the Lord that we can be in this season with such joy. In fact, I have a little too much of it. I am loving having DJ home. His presence here is just adored by all of us. Morning coffee dates? Built in help around the house all throughout the week? Father/Son dates? Naps for mom?! Yes please. Keep it coming. You know how when you were a kid, your parents would up your bedtime the week before school started to get you used to the school schedule? I swear I am going to have to kick DJ out of the house before he even gets a job so that I can get used to him being gone again. Otherwise I think his absence when he goes back to work will be a devastating blow. I just love him so much. Like, this much:

Fried Plantains. I love plantains. I have tried to make them several times in the past couple of years and I fail every time. Like burn them so bad they taste like rubber kind of fail. DJ's words, not mine. I don't know what the deal was, but I just could never get them right. But, guys! I tried again the other day and they were perfection. Here's what I did. I just put a fourth a cup of oil in the bottom of a skillet, stirred in some brown sugar, cut the plantains into one inch slices and sauteed them for just a few quick minutes on each side. Do it now. You won't regret it. 

Hulu. I know, right? Where have we been the last lot of years? For the entirely of our marriage, me and DJ have binged watched shows on Netflix (except for Lost, which we watched on actual TV and was a total waste of my life). We've never had cable and we never wanted Hulu; why watch shows week to week when you can binge watch seasons at a time on Netflix?! Binge watching is a bit of a double edged sword though. Watching shows and movies is one our favorite things to do together, but it can also be a little bit of a time sucker and excuse for mindlessness when it comes to marriage, especially when you have littles and are flat out exhausted at the end of the day. And so, as of last week, I now love Hulu. We decided to do away with binge watching and just pick two shows to watch this season. Obviously we went with This Is Us and Designated Survivor... umm, hello, both are awesome. This means that instead of binging every night, we just have two nights a week that our shows come on and we can only watch one episode at a time. Ya'll, it feels like we are in the nineties again and I am a little bit loving the simplicity of it. 

The First Fifteen. Have you guys heard of this?! It's a little bible study that I have grown to adore.  You can subscribe here and a daily bible study will arrive in your inbox early each morning. It is short and sweet but full of deep truth. My favorite thing about it? It reminds me of God's personal love for me, Courtney, as an individual. The past five years of my faith have been more focused on God's love for and work among and use of the church body as a whole; how we were built for and thrive in community, how we are called to do life with and worship alongside the body of believers, how life with and among the church family is one of the primary ways that we mature in our faith and expand the people of God. Yes and amen to all of that. Those things are so very good and true. But I think that somewhere in all my exposure to that, I lost sight of the fact that God loves me. Like, me. All by myself. Courtney. He sees me, knows me, is mindful of me, and delights in me. How incredible is that? I just forgot. The First Fifteen has really helped me to remember and rest in God's intimate and personal love for me as his child. Incredible.

Waking up early. For the past few months I have started waking up at 6:00am and it has been such the best thing. I heard someone on The Happy Hour mention that the best advice they had ever received was to wake up for their kids instead of waking up to their kids. This is now the best advice I have ever received. Let's be honest... When the kids wake me up in the morning, it is just not a good day. It starts off on the wrong foot and I have a hard time bouncing back. But when I wake up at 6:00, I have time to work out, check email, drink my coffee and read my bible, and flat out do my own thing before they come bounding out of their rooms at 7:45 and let me just tell you, this "me time" is awesome. I love sleep, but sacrificing it to have some time alone without my little people is what I need to love them better throughout the day. Bring on the early mornings. I am loving it.

Kidless dinners! Okay, we actually just started this last night, but it was pretty great. So great that we are going to start doing it once a month. We put the kids down early, and then made dinner and ate it without them. By ourselves! Just the two of us! We made our favorite Indian dish (and yours too, I promise, go make it tonight) and watched Meet The Patels (super cute documentary) and all of it was just glorious. Especially the part about cooking in the kitchen with a glass of wine and jazz music and zero little people or toys or bikes in the kitchen for me to trip over. Glorious, I tell you. 

And there you have it... some happy little things from me to you. What little things have you been loving lately?