Books we love

Here's a little secret. I struggle with believing that I am not a fun mom. I am not a Pinterest mom because pretty much anything that requires the slightest amount of prep, creativity, or clean up is overwhelming to me. I don't like the park because I don't like to sweat. I'm more frugal than I knew and apparently it's hard for me to spend money on fun things (or any things, for that matter) without first breaking out into hives. And playing and pretending are some of my hardest hurdles as a momma. It sounds terrible to admit, but these are things that I don't enjoy or do well. But reading? Reading has become a favorite pastime of mine in the past two years and is something that I want to pass on to and enjoy with my children. Kids love stories and I have found that this is a simple and sweet activity that we can easily do together. It encourages time together, bonding, cuddling, and great conversation and it is something that me and the little Hofmenn love to do. Eh? See what I did there? Hofmenn. It's what we call our littlest men around here.

I value reading out loud more than I thought I would. I'm telling you, I don't recognize myself as a mother. I am nearly 100% opposite of what I thought I would be. But it turns out, that I really care about reading with and to my kiddos. I was recently listening to a podcast where Sally Clarkson was interviewed and on the topic of reading out loud she said something along the lines of allowing children to be bored, exposed to adult conversations and interests, and reading lots of books is what creates genius in a child. And everything in me responded with a resounding yes! These are things that DJ and I strive for in our parenting, yet often feel alone in, so hearing it said from a woman that I love and admire felt so confirming to me. I think I desire reading out loud together so much because I want my kiddos to be well rounded and informed, in love with learning, drawn into story, able to concentrate and focus on written and spoken word, and exposed to people, things, and ideas that we may otherwise be hindered from introducing them to. Most importantly, I want them to love the word of God. My greatest hope in cultivating a love for stories in them is that they would one day love and delight in reading the greatest Story of all.

Reading aloud comes fairly easily to us because we don't do a whole lot. Apparently I'm kind of a homebody. But still, there are seasons where it is a struggle. Currently, I have been exhausted and in an overall funk so reading out loud has required more energy and time than I have desired to give. Not to mention, Jones is 18 months old and unable to sit through more than 2-3 books at a time and is quite the expert at interrupting the books I try to read with Moses. But, there are a few things that have helped me to read aloud to my kids when it otherwise feels easier not to:

• Sarah Mackenzie's podcast, Read Aloud Revival. This little gem has great interviews, helpful statistics on the importance of reading aloud to your kids, and offers simple tips to making a culture of reading aloud so feasible. She also has a great email subscription that will link you to amazing books suggestions that you can read with your kiddos as well as resources to encourage you as you strive to do so. What I love about Sarah Mackenzie is that she is no joke--- she takes reading seriously and encourages her listeners to read Shakespeare and classic literature to children-- yet she does so in a way that is totally doable and supplies you with abundant resources on how to do this easily and well. 
• The library! Ya'll, no pun intended--- the library is a novel idea. Free books. FREE BOOKS! Why are there not so many other places like this? Somebody please invent the kind of store where I can check out clothes or ice cream for free. A huge plus to the library is that the books are typically due back before I grow tired of reading them. Huzzah!
• I buy or check out books above my kiddos' reading level. The reason for this is twofold. One, the higher the reading the level, the more I enjoy reading it myself. And secondly, I have found that the more advanced reading I do, the more robust Moses' vocabulary becomes.
• Structuring reading time into our day has made it that much easier to do by default. Almost always we set aside time to read after breakfast and again before bed. If it happens at other times throughout the day, it's just an added bonus.
• I have reading dates with the kids. Sometimes me and Moses will pack up books and games and head to the coffee shop. Other times we have poured ourselves a glass of Italian soda and read on the front porch past his bedtime. The other day I let him forego his Room Time and made him a smoothie so that we could read together just the two of us. Making reading special mom & kid time, makes it that much more appealing to them.

Not only do I try to encourage reading together, but I have also tried to encourage their own love of independent reading. Here are a few ways I have done that:

• By reading my own books in front of them. I thought this would be harder than it is. I am 100% unable to multitask and I like peace and quiet when I read. I thought it would be impossible to try and read my own books in front of the kids, but more often than not I have found that they will follow my example and go pick up a book and sit down quietly to read on their own.
• I do my own thing! I have found that when I sweep the floor or do the dishes or make a phone call or have a FaceTime date, that my kids will quietly climb up on the couches and look at books. For a long time. Win!
• Moses is super high energy and all boy. At times that I just need him to settle down, I tell him to go read on the couch.
• I try to buy books that have fun covers and colorful, vibrant illustrations. Where they can't yet read the words, I want them to be drawn into the pictures.
• I have only done this once so far, but I really want to get into the habit of having Reading Time at home. Our library books are in a basket on the fireplace and I want to be more intentional about setting aside time for them to enjoy a special drink or snack while they look at books. I want it to be a time that they look forward to and enjoy in hopes that reading will be fun for them rather than something that they despise and think is only done for school.

Gosh. Who knew I could say so much about reading? I'll stop now. Without further ado and in no particular order, here are books that me and the boys love:

• Korean authors & books. I'm obviously a little biased, but this section is important to me since we have a cute little Korean boy in our family. I really want Korean literature in our home and at his fingertips so that he can read their stories and see their work and look up to artists and writers that look like him and share his home country.  I buy Korean books for Jones too because I equally desire for him to have a special love for Korea. Here are a few of our favorites:

 Bee-bim Bop by Linda Sue Park

The Green Frogs by Yumi Heo

A Book Of Sleep by Il Sung Na. 

(I actually love all of his work. His illustrations are beautiful!)

My First Book Of Korean Words by Henry J. Amen and Kyubyong Park

• Wordless books: I love how books without words can so still so clearly tell a story and how it encourages the use of imagination and original story telling. These two books by Mark Pett are the cutest, and I adore how his characters cameo in each other's stories! 

The Boy And The Airplane by Mark Pett

The Girl And The Bicycle by Mark Pett

• Boy Books: These have been a favorite with my kids! 

Little Blue Truck by Alice Schertle

Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site by Sherri Duskey Rinker and Tom Lichtenheld. 

(Also worth checking out is their book Mighty, Mighty Construction Site.)

 

Diggers Go by Steve Light

(And actually, any of the books in his "Go" series are amazing and so much fun. I give Steve Light all the credit for teaching me how to make all the appropriate car, train, plane, digger, and boat noises.)

Old MacDonald Had a Truck by Steve Goetz

Demolition by Sally Sutton.

(Her other books Roadwork and Construction are equally as fun.)

• Favorite Rhymes: Andrea Beaty wins my vote for best rhyme schemes and patterns! Her adorable books about curious and smart children who delight in knowledge and possess a desire to invent and create are told in the most delightful rhyming manner.

 Ada Twist, Scientist by Andrea Beaty

Rosie Revere, Engineer by Andrea Beaty

Iggy Peck, Architect by Andrea Beaty

• Books with humor and perspective that adults can enjoy: I think these little gems are the cutest! 

 Spoon by Amy Krouse Rosenthal

(She also has a book called Chopsticks that I really want to read but haven't yet gotten my hands on. But I may be partial to Asian utensils....)

 

Grandpa Green by Lane Smith 

Stick And Stone by Beth Ferry and Tom Lichtenheld

The Giving Tree by Shell Silverstein

(The first time I read this as an adult was when I first read it to Moses. I was moved to sadness, but when I looked over at Moses I was surprised to find that he was moved to actual tears. Never underestimate a child's ability to pull deep meaning from books.)

• Books that show the world, diversity, and introduce other languages: 

Say Hello by Rachel Isadora

Mung-Mung by Linda Sue Park

(I also want to check out her book of people sounds, Yum!Yuck!)

Same, Same But Different by Jenny Sue Kostecki-Shaw is a cute book about pen pals in NYC and India who share with each other what their homelands are like.

For You Are A Kenyan Child by Kelly Cunnane

Besos For Baby by Jen Arena. This is my favorite book to read with Jones!

Because Amelia Smiled by David Ezra Stein. This is a recent find and I adore it! It is about how a single, simple act of kindness can have ripple effects across the world.

One Plastic Bag by Miranda Paul

• Dr. Seuss: I'll be honest: I don't love Dr. Seuss books. I don't love that they make up words to make a rhyme work and the way most of the rhymes are written makes them difficult for me to read aloud. But, there are a few exceptions. I really appreciate the Cat In The Hat's Learning Library books for Moses--- they are so educational and have taught us both so much! And for Jones, I think a few of the body part books are super fun to read together, too.

There's No Place like Space by Tish Rabe

Oh Say Can You Say What's The Weather Today? by Tish Rabe

 

The Foot Book by Dr. Seuss 

The Ear Book by Al Perkins 

The Tooth Book by Dr. Seuss

• Books about real people & events: I love exposing Moses to stories about real people and events in history. The Ordinary People Change The World series is great as well as these others:

I am Albert Einstein by Brad Meltzer

Fun Fact: We were delighted to find this page hidden within the book! Moses does this very same thing--- whispering words under his breath until he has them memorized and perfected. Maybe we have a little Einstein on our hands!!

I am Amelia Earhart by Brad Meltzer

I am Helen Keller by Brad Meltzer

The William Hoy Story: How A Deaf Baseball Player Changed The Game by Nancy Churnin

Rolling Thunder by Kate Messner is a book about the significance of Memorial Day.

George Washington's Teeth by Deborah Chandra and Madeline Comora is a fun read based on Washington's letters & diaries that explains how he lost all of his teeth. I seriously learn so much from children's books.

• Books that show what life used to be like before technology and instant gratification (or is still like in other parts of the world, and even in our own city): 

Pancakes, Pancakes by Eric Carle shows how pancakes were made before grocery stores and processed food.

The Last Stop On Market Street by Matt De La Pena introduces children to life and wisdom in the inner city.

• Audio books: Ya'll! I need to tell you about this little gem I have discovered. I want Moses to listen to audio books but I refuse to buy them because I am a cheapo. Insert OverDrive. This amazing app syncs up with your local library and lets you check out and download audio books straight to your device. When the book is due, it automatically deletes off your OverDrive account so there's no chance of any late fees. The one downside is that my libraries don't have most of the audio books I have hoped to get for Moses, but here are the few that we have gotten that he has enjoyed: 

James And The Giant Peach by Roald Dahl

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl

The Young Amelia Bedelia's Audio Collection

The Mouse and The Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary

Dinosaurs Before Dark by Mary Pope Osborne

• Christian books: Here's a secret: We read almost zero books about our faith. I'm not sure why, but I think it's twofold. I surprisingly don't know about many and I am just always skeptical when it comes to children's books on faith. I fear they will be watered down or full of poor doctrine. But also, we make up for this in other ways. We talk about our faith all throughout our day, do memory verses, family devo's, sing hymns, and read the bible, so in a way I don't feel like this is an area that is lacking. However, I will take recommendations on any that you love!!! Here are the few we have that we enjoy:

The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd Jones is read almost nightly in our home.

The Gospel Story Bible by Marty Machowski is a bit advanced for Moses but we do refer to it for stories that are missing in the Jesus Storybook Bible (like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and the fiery furnace. This story should never be missing from a bible!)

The What Is God Like? series by Dr. Craig is an amazing resource on the attributes and character of God. Highly recommended!

What Does God Do? by Hans Wilhelm

(My parents read this to me as a child and the visuals were so adequately aligned with the scriptures that I remembered them well into my adulthood. It's hard to come by, but thankfully my mom saved it for me and I now enjoy reading it with my boys.)

Setting Their Hope In God: Biblical Intercession For Your Children by Andrew Case

(Not a children's book perse, but a book of prayers that I read over my children often.)

Hosanna Loud Hosannas by Barbara and David Leeman

(A great little resource to introduce your kiddos, and yourselves, to hymns of old.)

• Adoption books: I am pretty much the antithesis of an adoptive momma. I read almost zero adoption books to my kiddos because I don't always love how adoption is explained and I find myself changing the words as we go. But, there are a few that that we enjoy, such as:

Tell Me Again About The Night I was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis. And PS: Jamie Lee Curtis is such a fun author! We thoroughly enjoy many of her other books as well.

A Mother For Choco by Keiko Kasza

My New Mom And Me by Renata Galindo

My Father Knows The Names Of Things by Jane Yolen

(To be fair, there is nothing about this book that mentions adoption in the slightest, but what I appreciated is the illustrations, depicting a Caucasian father with an Asian son... not to mention that DJ is brilliant and really does know everything so this book seemed fitting for our family.)

Llama Llama Red Pajama by Anna Dewdney

(Okay, this also is totally not an adoption book. BUT, it was such a sweet resource to us when Moses first came home and we had to slowly and diligently train him to be okay in his room alone. Not to mention, Llama Llama's bedroom and hallway set up so closely resembles our own home that it made a sweet connection for our family. I think this book is worth a read for any adoptive parents working to break the co-sleeping habit their kiddos may have come home with.)

• Books that coincide with experiences: These are fun reads that you can couple with outings or projects!

Blueberries for Sal by Robert McCloskey is a great book to read on a blueberry picking outing. Follow it up by making Shauna Niequist's blueberry crisp and you're golden.

Thunder Cake by Patricia Polacco is a sweet story about one little girl's Babushka who helps her to overcome her fear of storms by making a cake as the storm rolls in. Recipe included. (Bee-bim Bop, which was previously mentioned, also includes a recipe.)

Dim Sum For Everyone by Grace Lin. Moses has been begging to go try Dim Sum ever since we first read this book.

Play, Mozart, Play by Peter Sis. We listened to Mozart after reading this book. I think it was my first time to ever even hear him because apparently I grew up under a rock.

• Character books: I don't know why I don't know about more books that teach and refine character traits so I'll take any suggestions, but here are the very few that we have read and liked:

The Most Magnificent Thing by Ashley Spires is a wonderful book that is referred to over and over and over again in our home as Moses gets frustrated with trying to build and construct things.

Llama Llama Time To Share by Anna Dewdney.... because sharing is caring, ya'll.

Holler Loudly by Cynthia Leitich Smith is a super fun read (especially with a country accent) for those of you with SUPER LOUD CHILDREN who need to learn the right times and wrong times to use their elevated volumes.

It's Tough To Lose Your Balloon by Jarrett Krosoczka is a simple read about seeing the bright side when things don't go our way.

I am always, always looking for new books for the kids so I would really love your recommendations on favorite books that your family loves. Please share!!

And, just for free and for the adult mind, here is what I have been reading lately:

• Hope Heals by Katherine and Jay Wolf. Their precious memoir about her devastating stroke and life thereafter.
• Every Secret Thing by Patricia Campbell Hearst is the riveting true story of the SLA's kidnapping of Patty Hearst in 1974. I could not put this down.
• The Turquoise Table by Kristin Schell is a beautiful and simple read providing super practical ways to develop community in your own front yard.
• The Leavers by Lisa Ko. A novel that addresses issues of social justice, adoption, and immigration.
• Hillbilly Elegy by JD Vance was an eye opening read about a man who grew up as a part of the Appalachian Hillbilly sub culture, yet left this community to eventually became a graduate of Yale Law School.
• Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. The story of a Greek family over many miles and generations that explores the topics such as incest and intersexism.

What are you reading these days?!

Much love,
courtney

The crazy in my head

Some days I am convinced that I just might be crazy. Just for fun, let me prove it to you. Here are some actual thoughts that often go through my mind:

Every single time I drive on an overpass, I brace myself for fear of falling over it's edge.

I have an irrational fear of being t-boned. Since having two kids, I can no longer drive through an intersection without braking a little too much. When it was just me and Moses, I could at least have the hope of only getting hit on the side of the car where he was not. But now that I have two little ones, both sides of my car feel fully exposed and vulnerable at any given moment. I cannot be t-boned without one of them getting crashed into; it is certain that one of them would get hurt. Obviously, intersections now terrify me. Have grace for the crazies who slow down to 8 mph as they drive through them; it's probably just a mom. It's probably just me. 

Whenever my kids get sick, not once do I assume it is just a cold or fever or virus, but every single time without fail I am convinced that they have meningitis, that their brain or limbs or nervous system are being attacked, that they are dying. Because this is the most logical train of thought, I'm sure.

Once, as I was driving down my alley, I saw a tennis ball in the road. I can't see something like this and just think that it is a tennis ball because that would be much too rational. Instead, I was fully convinced that some rogue teenager had made a makeshift bomb that would explode as I drove over it. I ever so bravely forced myself drive over it just to prove that I was in fact crazy. Astonishingly, I survived. (And just for the record,  the other day DJ sent me this. Turns out I'm not so crazy afterall, eh?)

I cannot get onto a plane without being fully convinced that it will crash. I make DJ pray before every flight and I clutch his hand at the slightest onset of turbulence. Heaven forbid I ever experience legit turbulence; I'd probably die of a heart attack. But if we are comparing heart attacks to plane wrecks then I guess that's the better way to go anyway, right?

Praise God for Find Friends because if DJ is just a minute late from work, I just know he must be dead on the side of the road somewhere. Of course it would never be that he just left work a minute late. Of course it would be a car accident. Of course he would be dead. What did I do before Find Friends? I called him in a sheer panic. Not only am I praising God for Find Friends, but DJ is too because this lovely advance in technology has eliminated all the crazy calls from his hyper-paranoid wife.

I was recently told that I had a bladder infection but I just knew the doctor was wrong. Obviously what she meant to tell me was that I have cancer. To be sure, I scheduled too many follow up doctor appointments because I was certain that I must be secretly dying inside from some undiscovered disease. News flash: I'm not.

For months after Jones was born, my hip hurt. Nevermind that I had just pushed a whole human out of my body; I must have searched the internet a hundred times to see what it was I might be dying from. According to Google, it's not hip cancer but I don't think I'm out of the woods yet. I'll keep ya'll posted.

If it sounds crazy, it's because it is. Basically, if I have seen it on the news or have heard of it happening to anyone (no matter how far removed) it becomes the reality in my head. Not only that, but it takes zero effort whatsoever to conjure these stories up in my mind; they are readily available and threaten to be all consuming at any given moment of the day. Last week I was reading a book called The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion and I actually laughed out loud when she wrote, "Yet, once on a rough flight between Honolulu and Los Angeles, I had imagined such a mutual disaster and rejected it. The plane would go down. Miraculously, [my daughter] and I would survive the crash, adrift in the Pacific, clinging to the debris. The dilemma was this: I would need, because I was menstruating and the blood would attract sharks, to abandon her, swim away, leave her alone. Could I do this?" To some this might sound crazy. To me, this just sounds like my life. Didion went on to talk about how fear once nearly paralyzed her, how vulnerable she felt to tragedy. She told of the time she started to wear tennis shoes instead of sandals for fear of tripping and getting hurt; of how she slept with all the lights on for fear of bookshelves toppling over her as she walked through the halls in the dark. She admitted to preparing herself for the worst scenarios, only to come to conclusion that tragedy often comes in the most ordinary of moments, like the time her husband died at the dinner table while in mid conversation with her. She had been so busy preparing for the freak accident that when tragedy struck in the mundane she felt tricked. What a companion I found in Joan Didion. Her crazy made me feel not so crazy. She made me feel not so alone.

In the past year, I have read a few other books like this one. When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi and Being Mortal by Atul Gawande have both been excellent reads that have made me all too aware of my own mortality. I loved them and greatly appreciated the raw vulnerability, transparency in suffering, and acute awareness of our fragility that is expressed in each of their books. And yet, their words have stayed with me long after I have finished reading them and they have filled me with a certain fear that I just cannot shake. The fear and the certainty that death and tragedy and loss are inevitably coming for each of us. For me. For my husband. For my kids. For you. There is a soberness that comes with living in light of our own morality and a freedom that comes with not being undone by it. I am not sure that I have figured it out, but I do know that God both cautions us to understand our finiteness all the while commanding that we do not fear. These things seem to contradict one another, but they are meant to go hand in hand and it is a balance I am trying to find.

It's strange how easy it is to imagine my house catching on fire or my husband dying of a disease or my car plummeting over side of a cliff. Those fears do not even have to formulate; they are just there threatening to consume my sanity at any point. Why does it take so much more effort to put these paralyzing thoughts to death? Why is it so much harder for the truth to cast out lies? Fear and anxiety are a hard thing to overcome and it only seems to be increasingly difficult; the more children I have and the more I fall in love with staying at home and raising them, the more threatened I feel by loss. I just have so much to lose these days. I think women by nature are more prone to this kind of fear and anxiety, but bringing children into the picture only worsens it as we realize our own vulnerability and inability to fully protect them from harm. Regardless, there is just always something to worry about, isn't there? There is always something to fear. But this is no way to live. I don't have it figured out by any means, but here are a few little things that I have found encouraging and helpful as I try to combat the crazy in my head. I hope they help you combat yours as well.

I recently watched a video about the power and freedom that comes with changing the phrase "What if" with "Even with". Instead of asking, "What if DJ dies?", I can say with confidence that even if he does, God will still be good. God will still provide. God will never leave me or forsake me. I love the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in Daniel 3. They were well acquainted with the Even If's. They knew that God was able to deliver them from the fiery furnace but instead of asking themselves what would happen if He didn't rescue them, they proclaimed that He is still good and worthy to be praised, trusted, obeyed, and followed even if He didn't. What an example. What hope that provides!

I am truly trying to live in light of eternity. When I am only focused on the here and now, fear grows and overtakes my heart. Kind of like the time that Peter walked on water; when his eyes were on Jesus, he stayed afloat; he did not sink when the storm came. But the second he took his eyes off God and focused on the circumstances around him, the second his faith started to falter and he began to sink. When my eyes are on Jesus and when my thoughts are on the eternal instead of the temporal, I am so much less afraid. One of the best books I have read that has helped me keep a kingdom perspective is Heaven by Randy Alcorn. It is fantastic. He thinks about eternity and the new heavens and the new earth from a ton of angles I had never once considered before. And what I appreciated about his perspective is how rooted in scripture it is. He may be off on some of his ideas or thoughts on heaven, but he has read God's word and has tried to understand heaven in light of it. His ideas have helped me turn my heart towards eternity and that is a good place for my mind to be. Nothing can cast out earthly fears like a kingdom perspective.

I recently heard a sermon on the bodily resurrection. It was fantastic. In it, the pastor referenced the historical text of 2 Maccabees 7. I am not well acquainted with Catholicism, so I was not familiar with this text but it was so encouraging and powerful and has encouraged my heart ever since. In it, a mother and her seven sons are being tortured for their refusal to abandon the tradition of their faith by eating pork. After the soldiers had killed the first two brothers, they approached the third and threatened to cut off his tongue and his hands if he would not eat their pork. The man courageously held out his hands and responded, "God gave me these hands, but his law means more to me than my hands do and I know that He will give them back to me again at the resurrection." While I don't believe this text to be canonical, I still find it to be so powerful and it has helped me change my thinking. Since hearing that text I have begun to say, "I can be content in sickness because one day there will be no more sickness. I can lose a limb, because one day my body will be made whole. I can face the most wretchedness of grief and sorrow now because a day is coming when all sadness and tears and pain will be wiped away. My house may burn to the ground, but a day is coming where nothing will ever again rot or destroy or grow old. I can die because I will rise and live again." Praise God for that. Basically what this means is that I just need to preach Revelation 21 to myself all day every day and I'll be good.

Above all, scripture has been a source of hope and life on the days when the crazy just won't relent. Time and time again, God tells me not to fear (Joshua 1:9). He reminds me that He is with me (Joshua 1:5). He says that I do not have to be afraid of bad news (Psalm 112:7) and that those who trust in Him will never be moved, uprooted, or shaken (Psalm 112:6; Psalm 55:2, Proverbs 10:30). These truths are setting me free.

This post is long and time is short. If you made it this far, here is a quick recap: I am crazy, but God is good. Yes and amen.

Much love,

courtney